oh...hey...hi there.

my kitchen the other morning.

Man time sure does fly...it's been almost a week since I've written. Time is whizzing by...and I have to say I don't like it. I really don't.

* * * * * * * * *

I went to the thrift store today to make a donation. And as I always do after unloading the back of the car I drove around the front of the store, parked the car, and went inside to see what treasures I couldn't live without. I found a large Ball jar with a cream lid and a cookbook from 1965 called Wild in the Kitchen. Three bucks later and I had myself a few new treasures.

While I was there I popped my head into the back room to say hi to my favorite employee there...Miss Francine. She gardens and cans, too. (And reads my blog! Hi Francine!) As a matter of fact, when I was in the market for a canner she set aside a good one for me at the thrift store. That was so nice of her. Thanks, Francine!

* * * * * * * * *

So...2012 is just around the corner...is that crazy or what? I don't feel ready for it...not like I was for 2011. I was ready for 2011. But 2012 is sneaking up on me...catching me off guard...throwing me for a loop. But since there's nothing I can do about it...may as well gear up, right?

Last year, like so many others, I chose a word (words, actually)for the year. The words I chose were: Do Brave. And even though I sat on my butt was stagnant for a good portion of 2011, I'll give myself some credit and say I was also Brave in that when I set my mind to it I got it together, got a job and signed up for school and really committed to finishing up my education. I'd say that took a little bit of bravery.

So now 2012 is just about here. And I'm wanting to choose another word. A few have popped into my head...but I'm still thinking on it. What about you? Have you chosen a word for 2012? Care to share?

* * * * * * * * *

Oh! And how about a birthday shout out to my uncle Dave and his lovely sister, my kindred spirit, Linda. Brother and sister born on the same day a year apart....how cool is that?

Happy Birthday you guys! I hope it was wonderful. xo

And now...in the famous words of Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip...peath out.

Merry Christmas...

Merry Christmas everyone!

I can't believe it is Christmas Eve...it seems that the month of December is always a blur. As soon as Thanksgiving is over we rush, rush, rush to get everything done and bought and decorated and..and...and then suddenly Christmas is here!

The good news is...I'm ready. Shopping is done...presents are wrapped...food is prepared. And in a few hours we will begin the festivities and head off to Chris' dad's (Marty) house for the afternoon.

Oh...speaking of food...Marty's wife, Kelly, is preparing a Prime Rib for dinner tonight. My contribution for tonight's meal is Country Potatoes. SO delicious...and completely fattening. Perfect for the holidays, no? Oh yes...trust me, you will want to make these potatoes. Country Potatoes are a holiday staple it seems...my aunt got the recipe from a friend several years back and we've been eating them at holiday dinners ever since. They are delicious. In case you want to make a dish of your own...here's the recipe!

Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas!

Country Potatoes

6-7 medium red potatoes - peeled, boiled and grated

1/2 c. butter

1/2 c. minced onion

salt, pepper and paprika to taste

1-can cream of chicken soup

1-pint sour cream

1 1/2 c. grated sharp cheddar cheese

Heat butter in saucepan and add onion, saute until soft.  Add soup and sour cream, warm through. In a large mixing bowl grate potatoes. Add spices and cheese to onion mixture then pour over potatoes and fold together. Bake at 350' for 45 minutes. Serves 6-8.

Wednesday in the Word

go take a look...

“As long as the earth endures,
seed time and harvest,
cold and heat,
summer and winter,
day and night
will never cease.”

Genesis 8:22

It's Wednesday...and it's winter...well, actually tomorrow is the first official day of winter. But according to my frozen windshield and icy temps, I'm alright with claiming it a day early.

So...the other day I talked a little bit about anxiety. I didn't get a lot of feedback...I'm wondering if it makes others uncomfortable talking about it. Or...maybe nobody can relate. Or...maybe nobody visits me here anymore. I don't know...but what I DO know, is that as soon as I did what I was supposed to do...the anxiety subsided. Just.like.that.

What was I supposed to do, you ask? I was supposed to take this new job offer and let go of the old job that was temporary to begin with...it was never mine from the start. I was clinging to something that I was supposed to be letting go of...and it took me a few days to "get it".

If I really look at this whole job situation I can see that God has got it totally under control. He is placing opportunities in front of me and if I would just trust Him and follow His lead, this whole journey I'm on would be a lot more smooth.

For instance, I was blessed to be given a long-term sub position. It lasted 3 months. And in the life of the school district sub, this isn't all that common. Then...just as this sub job is ending, I am given an opportunity for another long-term position as a teacher's aide at the high school across town. I start on January 9th when we return from vacation and the job will last through mid March. On top of being given another long-term opportunity, this particular job makes me eligible to apply for other jobs within the district. Other permanent jobs. Other jobs that could possibly provide benefits. Oh...and did I mention that it's for 2 hours each afternoon and that the hours are perfect for my class schedule? Yeah...I know.

Isn't it so funny how we go about spinning in circles...fretting and worrying...clinging to things that aren't really ours...all the while making ourselves sick? When if we would just listen to God...trust that He is placing each stepping stone in the exact place that we need it...our walk through life truly would be a smooth one. Not easy. But smooth.

Of course...there is always work to be done on our part. Like...working up the courage to place our foot on that next stone. Especially when that next stone is set out a little further than the others. But that's where trust comes in...and faith. Believing that God always does know best. And that His plan will always work.

well now...

I'm sort of spinning in circles lately. My plate is overflowing and all of my calm and cool and control is out the window. I'm feeling extremely anxious lately...the week of finals for school might have finally got me. Not so much the finals themselves...but more that everything else going on along with the finals really just sort of sent me spinning.

I don't know...anxiety is a strange bird, isn't it? It blind-sided me this time around. To be honest, I haven't been dealing with anxiety much lately. And I am very grateful. But the last few days have me feeling anxious...the sub job is coming to a close and I am sad about it, I got another temporary position at a different school that starts when we get back from vacation, I have lots of presents to wrap, food to shop for and prepare, a laundry pile that just multiplies, a dirty bathroom, boys who won't keep their rooms clean, a few appointments thrown in between now and Friday...and it is all piled up in my brain in one big jumble.

And for whatever reason, I am not doing so good at the whole one day at a time, one thing at a time thing. I've been getting pretty good at reminding myself of this when anxiety flares...and have been able to get myself refocused pretty quickly. But I think since there is some sadness involved...and things that I have really loved are ending...it's added to the mix and made things a bit worse this time around. I loved the job...and it's ending. I loved creative writing...and it ended. And now I have to start all these new things at once...a new job, three new classes, plus kids going to dances and wrestling tournaments and getting drivers licenses.

Then of course I want to make stuff for the holidays (so I've got even more thoughts and ideas swirling around this crazy brain of mine)...food gifts, handmade things, crafty goodness...but haven't seemed to find the time to DO any of it. I say find the time because really, if something is important enough to us, we will find the time. I've stopped saying I don't have time...because I do. I just don't always spend it wisely. Ahem.

Either way, the bottom line is...IT'S ALL OK. Anxiety is something I've learned to live with...me and God, we got this. So no need to worry... I'm good. Anxiety is temporary. And not realistic. The reality is...I have two weeks off for the holidays. Time to rest up...to rejuvenate...to enjoy...to be OK with the goodbye's and look forward to the new beginnings. To let go with one hand and grab a hold with the other...moving along...moving forward...moving in the right direction.

more Mary Oliver...another favorite.

I Found a Dead Fox

I found a dead fox
beside the gravel road,
curled inside the big
iron wheel

of an old tractor
that has been standing,
for years,
in the vines at the edge

of the road.
I don't know
what happened to it --
when it came there

or why it lay down
for good, settling
its narrow chin
on the rusted rim

of the iron wheel
to look out
over the fields,
and that way died --

but I know
this: its posture --
of looking,
to the last possible moment,

back into the world --
made me want
to sing something
joyous and tender

about foxes.
But what happened is this --
when I began,
when I crawled in

through the honeysuckle
and lay down,
curling my long spine
inside that cold wheel,

and touched the dead fox,
and looked out
into the wide fields,
the fox

vanished.
There was only myself
and the world,
and it was I

who was leaving.
And what could I sing
then?
Oh, beautiful world!

I just lay there
and looked at it.
And then it grew dark.
That day was done with.

And then the stars stepped forth
and held up their appointed fires --
those hot, hard
watchmen of the night.

-Mary Oliver

                                                                         ...the 4th and 5th stanzas make me cry.

the coming week...

There is a very good chance that this next week, just maybe, quite possibly, and pretty much more than likely, could push me right over the edge.

I have my creative writing presentation tomorrow night...and my portfolio is due as well. Tomorrow is our last class meeting...and I am sad about it. It's been one of the BEST classes ever.

Then, once I get all of that done and over with, I will be focusing on my Education class that ends on Saturday. I have a HUGE portfolio due that I haven't even started yet. Yes, I know. Lame. But it's true. I have whined and moaned and groaned and pouted...and now, here we are. All of that time whining definitely could have been better spent. You know...doing something like WORKING. But...it is what it is...all I can do now is buckle down and get it done. And I will.

In the midst of all of that...the holidays just keep on comin'. We got our tree yesterday...it's in its stand, perched lovingly in the front window...with nary a piece of decor to be seen. But that's OK...it's a patient tree. I made sure when we bought it.

I have made a dent in the Christmas shopping, though...thank goodness. I have to lay everything out on my bed for the big "inventory"...see what I have for who, what I still need to get, you know...make yet another list to add to my pile of lists. I can never seem to make just one list...or even consolidate. So I just carry around a stack of lists and call it a "system". I've learned to just go with it...

I'm pretty excited about this coming semester (assuming I get through this semester in one piece).

Because I have no idea what's going on as far as my work life is concerned, I had to go on ahead and just make a decision about what IS happening and that is my education. More than likely the job I've been doing is going to come to an end. As it stands, the woman I am subbing for will be returning to her job after the first of the year. It's been sort of up in the air...back and forth...and maybe a possibility here and possibly an opportunity there...but nothing set in stone. And nothing permanent.

So...with that in mind I signed up for some fun classes...both of which are being held during the day at the local community college on Monday's and Wednesday's. One of them is taking part in the college literary magazine, Suisun Valley Review. My creative writing instructor leads the class and it sounds like a lot of fun. Then I also signed up for Printmaking.Yes! Printmaking! I am super excited for this class. And yes, I do really need these classes. I realize at this point the coming semester sounds like it's all fun and games. But my counselor said I was in need of a few more electives...how cool is that? I love electives!

On the university front...I'll be taking a class on how to teach my future students English. Or Math. I can't remember. And whatever one I'm not taking this coming term, I will take in the next term. So no matter what, in the next 16 weeks, I will have taken both. Clear as mud? Good. Hopefully I'll teach better than I blog.

Alrighty then...with all of this in mind, don't be surprised if you don't see me much this week. I'll be around...and checking in on all of you...but may not be writing much here. More than likely all of my writing efforts will be going into school stuff. I know you'll understand...

Keep me in your prayers, won't you...? That I stay focused...and get everything done that I need to...and that I don't go bald in the process. Thank you...xo

I love books.

This is the most recent photo of my nightstand. This is the stack of books I do not have time to read because I'm reading another stack of books that is piled high on the floor beneath my nightstand.

The other pile, not pictured obviously, is mostly of Mary Oliver (have I mentioned how much I am loving her? Oh. I have? Silly me.) with a bit of Erica Jong thrown in for variety. While at the library stalking Mary Oliver books gathering up every Oliver book I could find I came across a book of poetry by Erica Jong. I thought the cover was lovely so I pulled it out...flipped to a page, found what I read intriguing, added it to the borrow pile.

Apparently, Ms. Jong was quite the racy writer in the 70's according to my mom. She never read any of Jong's smut writing, of course. She just heard about it. Ahem. (Hi Mom!) I didn't find the bit of her poetry I did read to be racy or inappropriate...but I haven't read it all. So...I'll throw out a disclaimer, an advisory, that should you opt to read Jong, it's at your own risk. :)

I made this silly little lady about 10 years ago...and she really has nothing to do with poetry other than she's dangling on my wall above my nightstand so I figured she was worth a mention.

I'm pretty sure the idea came from Home Companion...remember the Mary Engelbreit magazine? Of all the magazines I was obsessed with...I miss this one the most. Well...and Country Living. But CL is still in print so I can at least go to the library and look at it if I need to. I heard rumors that HC is coming back...anyone else heard that?

I used to spend a lot of money on magazines...I had stacks and stacks. And I would save them...because you never know when you may need to reference something fabulous in one of them. You know...a project, a recipe, whatever. So the magazines piled up...but of course I never knew where each very fabulous idea was within that stack. But they were in there somewhere!

Eventually, I stopped buying magazines. Partly because our finances changed drastically and partly because I realized I could borrow the mags from the library then photo copy anything fabulous I needed to remember. So now all of those copies of great ideas are stacked...patiently awaiting a moment of organized inspiration to be placed neatly and lovingly in a plastic-sleeved binder.

Don't hold your breath.

Because the reality is the floor needs mopping, the baseboards need dusting, the class projects need doing, the Christmas shopping needs finishing, meals need preparing, laundry needs washing....and a partridge in a pear treeeeeee!

This is why the books on the nightstand aren't being read.

But the nice thing about books is that they wait patiently, looking lovely, and are ready whenever you are.

I love books...

Wednesday in the Word

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down,

shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.

For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Matthew 6:38



So...

...we had a little leak by the front water spigot recently. Chris and Ian set out to fix it on Saturday, only to find that it was really a pretty BIG leak. They had to dig up my wood violets and baby tears...and I was sad. But the almost double water bill made me ever MORE sad...so I kept quiet about the plants, pretty much.

Then I left them covered in mud and went to a baby shower...had a very nice time (and got a delicious salad dressing recipe that I'll share soon)...did a bit of Christmas shopping and headed home. When I arrived there was a large trench dug out of the front lawn from the spigot by the house to the water meter by the sidewalk. Turns out the entire pipe, that was now really not pipe at all but more of long glob of rust, needed to be replaced.

They worked into the night pretty much making sure nothing was leaky....I went outside to talk with them about it, too. Because I know a lot about plumbing and all...ahem. While I was outside I looked up at the sky...it was clear, and such a pretty shade of blue.

Then I noticed that after all those crazy winds there wasn't a leaf left on the maple tree...only those little spiky balls that drop all over the lawn. It struck me as beautiful...so I ran in and grabbed my camera.

* * * * *

I've been plugging away at my classwork...writing poetry, writing about Mary Oliver, and procrastinating probably the largest assignment due (in a week) for my computer class. The instructor recommended we start it the first week...ya know, get it going and set up so we wouldn't be bombarded with the entire project in the last week of class?

Yeah.

Does it count that I thought about it every week? If only work got done by osmosis...I'd be a professor by now.

Guess I better get back to it...love to you lovelies...xo

good sunday morning.

Praying

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones, just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

~Mary Oliver

{this is on Pinterest...but originally came from flickr...but is
from a private account that I cannot link to. But if you are the
one who made this amazing print (or know who did)...please let me know,
as I'd love to purchase a copy of my own to frame and love forever.}

I'm sorry...but I still can't get over how much I am loving poetry. I love to read it...I love to write it...I love to critique it and sit in a writing group having others critique my own...it's a whole new way to express myself. And this doesn't surprise anyone as much as it surprises ME.

Currently, Mary Oliver is a favorite...I'm reading a lot of her work for my final portfolio essay for creative writing. So many amazing poems...such beautiful words...incredible imagery...I'm sold.

And don't you just love a good lino cut? This print above...a combination of three of my favorite things, poetry, Mary Oliver and block prints...is almost more than I can stand. I'd love to have this in a print to frame and hang in my home.

So it's Friday...gotta get ready for work. I tidied up the place this morning and now I'm running a bit behind. I'm going Christmas shopping tonight with my mom...looking forward to that. And then the weekend...which will include a baby shower, taking Seth to an open parking lot to practice a stick shift and lots of school work. Doesn't sound so bad, does it?

What are you doing this weekend? I hope it involves something fun and refreshing...xoxo

Dec. 1...time is flying by...



people take amazing photos.

Just like that...it's December 1. The first day of the last month of the year 2011. Time is strange, isn't it? It just keeps going and going and going...and seemingly faster and faster. This morning 13 minutes felt like two. I couldn't believe that 13 minutes had passed and I didn't even really know it...or feel it. The time was just...gone.

December 1...it's nothing significant in my little world...no birthdays, no anniversaries, just another day, really. But it does mean that it's only 3 weeks (give or take) until Christmas. And can I just tell you that I have bought maybe 1.5 gifts? Yeah. Not even close to being even slightly ready. But...that is usually my M.O. this time of year...I'm usually in denial about Christmas. Right up until the eve, really. I know...

December 1...it also means that I have approximately two weeks left in each of my classes. (Why did I not realize they were going to end at the same time? I feel like this should have occurred to me. Or maybe it did? And I forgot? Where is that ginkgo biloba?)

Regardless of what I think or don't think...remember or not...yes, each of my classes will be finis in two weeks. And this is a good thing...the time flying while I'm in school is totally OK with me. Because that just means I am that much closer to being done with school that much quicker. However, it really makes getting all the work done that much more of a challenge! Seriously.

But that's OK...I am grateful for the opportunity to even be IN school. It is a blessing...something not everyone is afforded the privilege of doing. I have got so much support in this endeavor...Chris and the boys are so sweet and understanding and helpful...my family is so supportive and encouraging...friends are rooting me on left and right and sending me notes of goodness and encouragement...it's amazing. And keeps me moving forward every day. All of this encouragement is also accountability. How in the world can I NOT follow through with this when I've shouted from the rooftops that I am gonna DO this? At this point...I have to finish!

And really...it's not just about "going to college". It's about really doing something that I've been working at, off and on, for many years and finally, finally seeing an end in sight. I can see the prize...and it's really not that far off.

Going back to school is about doing something that would have been really easy NOT to do...because I'm too busy, or too old, or too...whatever.

Bottom line? I am really happy that I am doing this...and every day I feel that much more accomplished. And it feels really good.

So I'm already signed up for my next classes...I'll be taking Human Development at the community college online and ENGU450 at Brandman, also online. I have no idea what ENGU450 even is...probably a class on how to teach English...the subject, not the language. I'm really glad I decided to study Liberal Studies rather than Sociology...or Criminal Justice. What? Criminal Justice? Who are you, Michelle?

Well...Sociology and Criminal Justice would have been really, really interesting subjects to study. I'm big on people...and getting into their heads...learning why they do things...and how they think. Especially people that are a bit...um...off, shall we say? It may explain why I feel the need to go into Special Education. I dunno.

However, when all was said and done, it made more sense for me to focus on teaching, and learning how to teach and so Liberal Studies it was. And it was a good decision.

I am also feeling bittersweet because as it turns out I am loving my creative writing class. LOV-ING it. And I can't believe it will be over in two weeks. Especially because it feels like we are all just getting to know each other....and each other's writing styles. We are loosening up in class...having fun...really writing and critiquing and encouraging each other. It's a really great class...and I am going to miss it like crazy.

But anyway...I didn't mean for this to be a dissertation on my college career. Really. I was gonna talk about the million mile an hour winds we are experiencing...and how my chickens are laying one egg a day. I was going to talk about how much Ian loves wrestling and how next week, at this very time, Seth will be driving, with a license,  by himself. I know. I know!

 I was going to talk about how our room is still neat and tidy...and how I am loving my little kitchen. And how our winter garden, while slow-growing, is doing well and is happy and healthy. Or how my mom and I are going to go Christmas shopping tomorrow night and how I plan to get a LOT DONE.

But...maybe we can talk about all of that next time...ok?

Wednesday in the Word

You can go here for the biblical version of this scripture...but I have to tell you, this version above is my absolute favorite. Jesus loved me at my darkest?

Yes...that is love...most definitely.



finally.

I have been wanting a duvet for our bed for quite a while now. But can I just say...duvets are expensive! I didn't want to pay an arm and a leg. I just wanted something fresh to cover our old comforter. I looked and looked online and at stores like Marshall's and Ross...Home Goods...but...nothin'.

Well last week a friend and I headed to Ikea in Sacramento. I was in search of a duvet...she, a storage unit for toys. And it was a successful trip...we both found what we needed!

I ended up choosing a white duvet with a decorative stitch for some detail. It also came with shams, which was a bonus. I looked at colors and neutrals but decided that white would be best...mainly because I took into consideration just about every photo I've Pinned at Pinterest and just about every single one has white bedding. So I figure that is what I like...what I'm drawn to...so I went for it.

And I have to say...I'm really happy with it. It just sort of finishes things off...makes our room look like I might have meant to do something in there. Our poor room has always been neglected...mainly because I could never figure out what I wanted to do in there. Mainly because I never thought we'd be here as long as we have been. Mainly because I have always considered it just a bedroom...not a master suite and therefore haven't ever really made the effort to make it inviting.

But as I browse Pinterest I realized that I wanted to do something in there..even if it was simple. I also realized that I am not into rooms that look 'decorated'. I like rooms that look as if they've evolved over time...that look comfortable and lived in. I like a relaxed look...and not one that is too matchy-matchy. (And trust me...I've got the NO "matchy-matchy" thing down pat...and not always by choice!)

So...yeah. I finally got a duvet...and it came with shams. And it made me happy. Now I can move on to the next thing...hmmm....what should that be? The to-do list around here is looooonggg.....

good morning...

Here's a peek at my kitchen...I took this photo the other day "as is". You may notice new paint...a new plate shelf and glass doors over the sink...bead board back splash...and not pictured are six can lights and a freshly painted white ceiling. What a difference this has made in my tiny little kitchen...I am really enjoying it.

I finally finished that pesky term paper that was torturing me. And now I am down to only three weeks left of this class...my least favorite of all my classes thus far.

Everyone is back to the routine this morning...boys are off to school, Chris is getting ready for work, and here I am...I think this chair is going to have a permanent indentation in the shape of my butt...I spend so much time here.

I think I may do a bit of online shopping today...I don't know. I am not even really sure what I'm getting for everyone yet. I finally got a list from Seth...and a few ideas from Ian...Chris is still formulating his wish list. I've got a few ideas for my immediate family...but nothing concrete yet. Mom and I are going to go shopping Friday afternoon after I get off work...hopefully I'll make a nice BIG dent in the to-do list. I plan on it, actually. I mean, Christmas is just around the corner...already. I can't even believe it...

Ya know...usually I'm a bit of a Grinch around Christmas. (And "Grinch" is actually making me sound so cute and quirky about it all...I'm really just a big grouch.) Admittedly, it is not my favorite holiday. I believe I've mentioned a time (or 20) that Thanksgiving is my favorite...family, fall, food...no pressure, no spending...mmmm, I love it. Christmas, on the other hand, is different. A lot different.

However, this year, I am trying to have a more positive attitude about it...and so far I'm doing fairly well. I have just decided that there's nothing I can do about it...Christmas comes every year, whether I'm happy about it, or not. May as well save myself some stress and crankiness and enjoy it all, right?

Because really, I do love to give gifts. I love finding the perfect gift for each person on my list...and wrapping it nice and pretty...knowing that they're gonna love it. I guess because finances have been so crazy for the past several years Christmas has become stressful. And not because I don't like to give...but more because I DO like to give and haven't been able to without stressing over it. (Hmmm...light bulb moment, eh?)

Anyway...

It's a busy week ahead...work, school, kids, shopping, a baby shower on Saturday afternoon and Seth's Winter Ball that night (and all that entails)...and, and, and....and this is the moment I have to stop and remind myself, "one day at a time", take a good, deep breath and keep moving forward.

xo

past and present.

I finally cleaned our room the other day. It was beginning to look like an episode of Hoarders...piles, clothes, bags, boxes...e.ve.ry.where. Ick. I was losing sleep over it. Something had to be done.

I finally took some time and got rid of some stuff...found places for other stuff...filed and organized and tidied the rest of the stuff. And now...it's actually a nice place to be. And restful.

One thing that is still a bit cluttered is my dresser top...that's it up there. If you go here you can read little notes about what's what. I didn't share the photograph with the stack of school photos and receipts that needs going through just to the right. That's next on the list...along with framing those adorable creations my boys made years ago.

I just ate a frozen pot pie...made me feel about 8 years old again. My mom made them occasionally when I was little...I actually liked them. Still do. Although I gotta say...homemade pot pies are way better. Duh. But like I always say...sometimes convenience wins around here....especially on days like today when I've got a crazy amount of classwork to do.

I was up until 11:30 last night making Excel spreadsheets and pecking away at that stupid paper. Then I woke up this morning with Mail Merges and Address Lists on my brain. Jeesh...it's gonna be a long year people.

I figure that's about how long this whole Bachelor's degree thing is gonna take me...a year. Maybe less. I was considering blasting it out in 9 months but then I got a grip and realized to do that would be like taking 6 classes in a semester. And that's just ridiculous. I don't need to rush....I need to be steady. And realistic.

Speaking of which...I better finish up this dang paper so I can get started on next week's assignments. Just when I think I can catch my breath...it's "next week" already!

I got nothin'....

Yesterday was really nice...as always. Family, food, laughter, kids, football, food, tears. I missed Noni and Papa a lot...still can't believe they're gone. This whole life and death thing is heavy on my mind...it's just so surreal. Life is really so short...so temporary. I'm trying not to take it for granted...

You'll notice I'm not shopping today. No. No way. I'm not a "crowd" kinda gal. My inner meanie comes out in crowds. So it's best I stay home. No deal is that good. I will probably get a few things online...but I have a question...is Cyber Monday the equivalent to Black Friday? So on Monday the deals will be better? I better find out for sure before I shop...I do love a good bargain. Just not willing to fight for it...or get trampled.

So it's after 10am...and I really need to get some school work done. Really. I have made a list. A long list. But I have yet to check things off. Today is the day. My relationship with procrastination is not a healthy one. Grrr...

Yesterday my aunt told me I was "slacking" in the blogging area...lol! I know...I know...she's so right. She said she thinks I should post every day...even twice a day! I don't know about that..!

I just feel like all I talk about anymore is school...school...work...or school. I'm kinda boring. Not a lot of canning...or crafting...or even photo taking. No gardening...Chris planted our winter garden if that tells you anything. He's like a farmer now.

Honestly, and this might be kind of weird, but I use my photos as a jumping off point for my posts. I just pick a photo...and type away. You may notice that I've been sharing graphics or mosaics or old photos...that's because I haven't been taking new photos. I've just been sitting at this computer, going back and forth between Word .docs, my online class and Pinterest.

I feel like all I do is school work...or talk about how I should do school work...and laundry. I prepare a meal here and there. And drive my kids all over kingdom come. But nothing creative...I really should do something about that.

But...not today. Today is for class work. (I mean it!)

But first...a shower, a load (or 17) of laundry, I really should pull something out of the freezer for dinner, these boys need to eat, ya know...well, and me too. You'd think yesterday's meal would hold us over for a week or so.

Anyway...thank you for hanging in there with me while I do this whole "school thing". Those of you that are still with me I consider true friends...encouragers...not just "followers". Matter of fact..I think I'll remove that Follow button. Let's face it...I'd write here even if nobody visited Give a Girl a Fig. I like this little space...

OK...time to think "term paper".

See? Boring!! xoxoxo

Wednesday in the Word



I couldn't help myself...I love Charlie Brown .



Psalm 100:3-5

Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his;
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations.

* * * * * * *

I am thankful for so many things...

God in my life

my husband...xo

my children

wonderful family

memories

my home

opportunities

health

plenty

friends...near and far

hot coffee

clean sheets

creativity

books

backyard chickens

mist over the mountain tops

work

a garden...in summer and winter

apple berry crisp

hot water

orange ginger lotion

the library

poetry

black currant tea

learning new things

a good pen

lists

my camera

time

gray skies

rain

my kitchen

blank journals

my wife, the slow cooker

Thanksgiving...my favorite holiday of the year

...that's a good start.

I'm thankful...for the big things...for the little things...for you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Off to a good start...

Welp...today is the first day of a whole week off. I have to say...this time of rest is much needed. I've been under the weather for about a week with one ailment or another...and I'm tired. Tired of being under the weather! But maybe this just means I'm getting all of the flu bugs at once...getting them out of the way...and then I can be healthy the rest of the winter...yeah? Sounds good to me...

It's 10am and I'm still in my pj's...so far the day is going according to plan. (wink) I've got a load of laundry going, also in the plan, and I'm getting ready to shower, figure out something for dinner, then do homework in between laundry and...life.

I have no idea what the boys have going today...it's the first day of vacation so I don't have a problem with whatever plans they make so long as it doesn't include me going anywhere. We'll see how that pans out...

Oh...and the mealy, weird texture in my soup the other day? The potatoes! Thank you Corinne and Kym for telling me...now I know to use a different kind of potato next time. Thank you ladies!

OK...I'm hungry...and I need a shower. So I better do a little more than sit here and think about my to-do list. Oh...and Thanksgiving. I can't stop thinking about Thanksgiving...have I mentioned that it's my favorite holiday? Oh...what? A Just a time or two? Or seven? I can't help it...I love this time of year.

I whipped up a pot of soup real quick...

I was in the mood for some soup. I had broccoli, shredded cheese and the leftover insides of some baked potatoes (saved from when I made potato skins for dinner last week) in the fridge.

I heated up a pot, added a can of chicken broth, 2-ish cups water, the leftover potato (about 2 cups...maybe 4-5 potatoes worth?) and a couple handfuls of broccoli florets. Set the mixture on high, brought it to a boil, then turned it down to medium heat and let it simmer.

I added some salt and a teensy bit of sugar (broccoli can be slightly bitter, ya know?) and stirred now and then.

In about 15-20 minutes the broccoli was nice and tender...almost ready.

I removed the "soup" from the heat, added a 1/2 cup or so of milk then blended it all together, nice and creamy, with my immersion blender. I seriously love this kitchen tool...if you don't have one, I think you need one. If you do have one but just don't use it, you really need to start. It's an amazing little tool...quick and easy to use...quick and easy to clean up...love it.

Anyway...

Once the soup was nice and creamy I added a bit more salt and some pepper to taste...and a handful of shredded cheese.

Then I stirred it all in.

And then...I ate it.

And it was good.

It was a nice warm tasty lunch. But, if I'm honest, it was a bit...um...mealy? Or grainy? Not sure why...? But yeah...the texture was slightly off. The taste, however, was not. It may have been better had I used cream or half and half rather than non-fat milk. But I am big on using what I've got...so milk it was. (And in thinking about it, next time, I'll add a little onion...just because. Or maybe because I want to be like Ina and get "depth of flavor"...man, how many times does she say that?!)

So it's Friday...it's gray and dreary out with a chance of beloved rain...next week is vacation...and my most favorite holiday ever...Thanksgiving.

Life is good...

list time...



Cutest kitchen timer in the world...isn't she adorable?
She's one of my favorite things...

 Lots on my mind today...scattered thoughts...thinking in bullet-points...

• I got that little chicken timer at Christmas last year. Aunt Lisa purchased it for our annual gift exchange. Each year we pick a letter and then all of the adults buy an item that begins with that letter. Last year's letter...T. Hence the timer. I love it. Thank you Aunt Lisa...and Megan, who I stole it from in the gift exchange!! You're such a good sport. (She knew I was gonna snag it...it's what makes the game fun, right?)
• Chris planted Japanese Maple seeds at the beginning of summer. The other day he transplanted five little saplings into pots...how cool is that? (It is called a sapling right?)
• The winter garden is settling in to the cold soil...everything looks happy and even has a bit of new growth. So far, so good.
• I got sick on Friday...and am only just now feeling better. It was something stomach related...then turned to gall bladder stuff (bye bye soda...I'll miss you forever)...then turned into a migraine. Seriously? Enough is enough.
• I have a new quick and easy meal idea: tacos. The trick? Store bought taco shells. I know, I know...but hey, sometimes convenience wins out. I've got to feed this family of mine...these teenagers that are eating us out of house and home. And sometimes time is limited...right? Not to mention now that Ian is wrestling he walks in the door from practice and blurts, "I'm starving!". So last night I browned taco meat, warmed shells, dumped out shredded cheese into a bowl, chopped up some lettuce and a few of the last tomatoes from the garden...set out hot sauce and sour cream...and BAM, dinner is served!
• Would you believe I'm halfway finished with my online class? It's Week 4 already! I know!! Admittedly, this is NOT my favorite class so far. Not at all. It's learning how to integrate technology into the classroom. And seeing as how I like my computer...and I like the internet...and many technology related things...you'd think I'd like the class. Yeah. Well... I don't. But that's OK...it's halfway over. And the next 4 weeks will go by equally as fast...if not faster. So it's all good.

There's more in this crazy head of mine...a few poems swirling around, thoughts of a continuing writer's group, I need to dust, I'm hungry, I have a LOT of schoolwork to do in the next 4-6 weeks (which is slightly overwhelming, yes), I'm looking forward to some rain this weekend...not to mention looking forward to having a week off, working for the school district rocks...

Speaking of which...I better get going...reality calls.

Wednesday in the Word...

Yes. And Amen.

amazing what you come across when you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing...

It's Friday night...I'm watching Pride and Prejudice and sipping earl grey. I should be writing...but for whatever reason I am stalling...maybe because I'm distracted by P&P? It is a beautiful movie...I always get distracted during movies by the set design. I think it would be so cool to be a set designer...don't you think?

So I've been poking around on the internet today...

I made that photo mosaic up there...that was a good use of time, eh? Yes, yes...very important, indeed. (P&P is wearing off on me...)

I joined a cool site for writers...Writing Our Way Home. I'm pretty sure Jen led me to it months ago...and I am only now feeling confident enough to poke around and maybe join a group or two. I have yet to share any poems with anyone...only in class, so far. I'm working up my nerve...it's a bit intimidating.

And who knew making lotion was so easy? I can't wait to give this a try. I am very picky about lotions...always trying to find the perfect one. Maybe this will be it...*fingers crossed*.

I'm thankful for Veteran's...especially my family members. We watched a really good documentary this morning...The Conscientious Objector...the story of Desmond Doss, a WWII soldier with an amazing story. You could probably find the whole thing at the library...or maybe Netflix? It was good...a bit of a tear-jerker.

And now that I've stalled long enough...I am going to open a Word .doc and write. Write, write, write.

much ado about nothing...

I'm just gonna start off by saying...I'm kinda cranky today. On edge. Impatient. I think it has something to do with being a woman...if ya know what I mean...*wink*. TMI? Sorry...but it's true! I pretty much chased Chris out of the house this morning with my lovely attitude...poor guy. And even after he planted our winter veggies yesterday and everything.

Our little winter garden looks so cute...Chris pulled the last of the tomatoes, raked and cleaned things up, then planted the chard, collards and broccoli....finally. Not finally for him...just in general because I kept forgetting about the poor little seedlings. They were sitting patiently in their plastic containers for weeks. But...now...they're cozy in the ground. Thank you honey! Now...let's hope they grow! We've never planted winter vegetables before...so this is a bit of an experiment. I'll keep you posted.

(And really...I think I'm the only one in this house that even likes these vegetables...except the broccoli...Seth eats lots of it when I make it...but the other stuff, not so much. Maybe they'll like it if it's fresh from our own garden...sometimes that makes all the difference.)

I borrowed a stack of Mary Oliver books from the library yesterday (placed them on hold, online, one of my favorite conveniences ever.)...she's the author I chose to analyze for my Creative Writing Final Portfolio...which weirdly enough, I'm excited to work on. We were given our choice of what to submit in our portfolio...two short stories, 9-12 poems or a combination of the two. I chose the combo which will translate into one short story and 4-6 poems. Although the more I write poems the more I am leaving the option open to submit all poetry. We'll see where I'm at with it all in a week or so.

Along with our own writing we have to analyze an author of our choice (Oliver) as well as a short story we had to read as a class selected by the instructor. I did not like the story at all...not even a little bit. Nor did I like the other short stories by the same author from the same book. Her writing makes me uncomfortable...and maybe that's her intention. I don't know. Either way...it's part of the final and therefore I will do it.

Funny to think we've only got a little over a month left of class...it was going along so slowly and now suddenly we're down to the wire. (I should be writing in my notebook and not here!) At this point I've got a short story written...but it needs tweaking using some of the feedback I got from the class. And I've got 5 poems written...two of which need a bit of tweaking, again based on feedback.

Hmmm...I probably should have titled this post, "School on the brain". If you've made it this far...thank you for listening to my ramblings.

And as a reward for reading on and on to my incessant droning...something beautiful from Mary Oliver...

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Doing it all.

Over the past couple of weeks I've received comments here on the blog, as well as personal emails and Facebook messages encouraging me in my efforts with school and work and...life. The encouragement from so many of you is priceless...and confirms to me over and over again that I am headed in the right direction. Thank you, sweet friends near and far, for taking the time to send kind words my way. It means so much to me.

One thing many of you are saying is "I don't know how you're doing it all!" This is a common sentiment in your sweet messages to me and I've been thinking about it a lot lately...and thinking about the things that I am doing...and wondering to myself why it doesn't feel like I'm "doing it all". I mean, I know I'm doing a lot, I know I'm busy, my schedule is full, I have a lot on my plate. But the crazy thing is that it's not difficult. It's not stressing me out. In all honesty, it actually feels good.

You want to know why?

It feels good to be "doing it all" because I know that everything I am doing is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I know that right now I am walking in God's will for my life. I am doing what He has planned out for me. And because of this He is giving me the strength and the peace and perseverance to "do it all". If I were to be doing this without God's provision and grace to handle all of these great opportunities then my mindset would be a LOT different. I would be stressed out and anxious and no fun to be around. And rather than saying "I don't know how you're doing it all!" you would be saying, "Girl, you need to slow down!"

There is such an amazing peace in knowing that everything I am doing each day is moving me one step closer to where I am supposed to be. Day by day I am getting closer to earning my degree...and closer to becoming a teacher...and closer to living my life the way that God planned for me when He formed me in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)

God has good things in store for us...He has a plan for each and every one of our lives. Each of us was created for a specific purpose...whether we believe it or not. And it's really not that hard to realize what that purpose is...we need only listen to His whispers and follow His lead. As you can see...I am not always the best listener. I can be stubborn...and a bit dense at times. (And a LOT dense at other times!) But I think that, after all these years of floundering and wondering and trying to find my own way, I can finally say that I know that I know that I know that I am fully in God's will and I am walking the path He paved for me.

And it feels really, really good.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

focusing on the good...

Oh to be Pablo...he's got the life I tell ya.

It's feeling like a good day to focus on the good. Not because I'm feeling negative...but rather I am feeling grateful. So...here goes...my list of good things...

• I do believe that winter has arrived...I love winter.
• It's been cold and rainy here all weekend...and I am loving it!
• Warm sweats and an oversize sweater.
• Eating food my hubby cooked...he's the master at cooking breakfast.
• Doing a few loads of laundry in between assignments...gotta love online classes. Seriously...I love them. It's worth the cost of convenience. (I say as I have yet to pay back student loans...ahem.)
• The heater works. And I am grateful. There was a time when it did not. So I do not take it for granted.
• Feeling blessed to have found a good church full of good people. Not perfect people. Or people who pretend to be perfect. But real and good people. It's refreshing.
• Dinner out with my family. We stopped and got burgers on the way home from church last night...really good burgers. Then we drove home, stuffed to the gills, laughing about I don't even remember what and arguing over who gets the bathroom first! Gotta love free refills! (Sometimes it pays to be the only girl in the house.)
• I'm loving my spiffed up kitchen...yes, yes, pictures are coming...soon!
• I am so grateful for a job that fits my school schedule perfectly...and not only is the job perfect but the people I work with are very cool. Yes, it's temporary. But that's OK...I'm trusting God fully with this whole work/school situation. He knows what I need and will provide it all...I need only trust Him.
• Speaking of work...it's a 4 day work week...that's always nice.
• A family-filled weekend...I have an amazing family.
• Hot showers.
• Knowing that I am moving in the right direction...there is such peace in that.

OK...your turn. What's on your good list?

changing things up...

I made a new header. It started from the above photo. Then after a few clicks here and a few clicks there over at Picnik.com...I had a new header. It's going to take some getting used to I think. It's much "quieter" than my last header. It's muted...sepia to be exact. I've been tiring of the last header for a while now. And have wanted to change it. It's just that I am spending so much time online doing homework (OK, and let's be honest...pinning away on Pinterest!! Hey, sometimes a girl just needs to zone out and gather up inspiration.) that I haven't made the time to create a new header.

I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I was going for a "fall" look. But I'm not so convinced that I didn't just made something...brown. I'll sit with it for a while...

(*edit*...I went on ahead and made a color header. The sepia was just too boring. See? I mean, I like it...but....Oh I dunno...what do you think?)

I went to a women's gathering last night in San Francisco with some ladies from the small church we've been attending, C3 Fairfield. It was really nice...it was fun to spend time with some great girls! It's also nice to be getting back into church and ministry type stuff. I took quite a long break from church and church related things. But ya know...as I ease back in to attending church regularly and going to a women's bible study once a week, I'm realizing that I missed it. And that it's a good thing to be a part of a healthy church and a genuine group of believers. I will admit it's not easy getting back into it...complacency took root faster than I'd like to admit. But...I'm making my way back. Slowly...but surely. And it's good.

It's Tuesday...again.

photo credits...I love gray and brown.

It's November 1. The temperature is dropping and a cool breeze is blowing. The tomato plants are officially spent and the broccoli and chard starts are patiently awaiting planting. The leaves are beginning to turn and fall to the ground...such a pretty mess, isn't it? It was so chilly Friday morning I decided to turn the heater on for the first time. I love that smell...what is it, anyway? Dust and webs burning off? Whatever it is...I like it.

This is a busy week. (Is this anything new?) Last night was Halloween. Tonight is class. Tomorrow night I'm going to San Francisco for a women's gathering with a small group of women from the new church we've been attending. Thursday night (I think...maybe Friday?) I'm helping my mom wrap things up at Papa's house. His house sold, so we're holding an estate sale on Saturday. And I'm helping with that, too.

Somewhere in the midst of all of that I have to do homework. And lots of it. This new online class I'm taking is demanding and time-consuming. As is the creative writing class. Lots of writing. Lots of reading. Lots of work. And then, of course, there's bringing home the bacon, frying it up in the pan and never, ever, ever...well, you know the rest.

Even still, in the blur of it all...with the busy-ness and craziness and constant go, go, go...I am grateful. I am blessed. And I continue to see God's hand in every bit of it, every day.

It's Tuesday.



It's Tuesday. So far, so good. Everyone is headed off to start their busy days. I fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, and even included a snack or two. My brain is rather jumbled...some days it's a bit of a challenge to organize my thoughts. Today is one of those days. Soooo....guess what that means? Yep. Bullet-points.

• My house smells like Axe (you know, the men's deodorant) and coffee. It's kind of a weird combo...I know.
• I just realized I was born on a Tuesday. And supposedly "Tuesday's child is full of grace". Um. I must've missed something...I am so not graceful!
• The more I say the word Tuesday, the more I like it.
• There's moisture on the windshield...finally.
• The leaves are falling from the Japanese Maple.
• I'm wearing a sweatshirt.
• Yep, winter is coming.
• I just completed my first online class on Sunday. And then I started my second one yesterday. No breaks. Power through. I like it that way. Oh...and I got an A. :)
• I don't have to purchase books for this next class...hallelujah!
• It helps to write down everything I have to do and then place an empty box next to it so I can check it off when it's done. Thank goodness for back to school 10-cent notebooks.
• I'm obsessed with sending my son off to college. Not that I want to send him off. But I want to be prepared. So I am gathering as much info as I can so that I am ready when the time comes. Because it's coming...whether I'm ready or not. Yes, I know I have over a year...but as we all know, time flies.
• I didn't plant any winter veggies. I'm kind of annoyed. Maybe I'll join the CSA for the winter instead. Or do I still have time to plant? Whaddya think? Maybe at least some kale?
• I have class tonight. I'm not cooking dinner.

Speaking of class...I have some homework to finish! Have a great day!!

Sunday morning...

"'Not called!' did you say? 'Not heard the call,' I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters, and servants and masters not to come there. And then look Christ in the face, whose mercy you have professed to obey, and tell him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish his mercy to the world."

-William Booth

inspiration...

...a photo from a little shop in Sonoma.

Friday? Already? This week sure went by fast. It started off with a stereotypical Monday...hadn't had one of those in a while. It included several very late nights...something that isn't good for me with the fibromyalgia and all. It included a morning of oversleeping...I don't know that my kids have ever been late to school due to oversleeping...ever!? (See? Those late nights...not good.)And it included a bout with the stomach flu...always fun, eh? But in the end...it's looking like we're gonna end it on a good note. Thank goodness!

Anyway...see that photo above? I took it while on a day out with my mom a while back. We were in a neat little shop trying to escape the rain! I loved that burlap curtain/room divider. It was nothing fancy...raw edges, no hems, just a few stitches to make the rod pocket, and there ya go...cool detail. I love it. Someday when I have a home that requires something like this...I'm totally doing it. Not only does it look interesting...but I imagine it's also budget friendly. If you really wanted to make it "sew" easy (ha!) you could hang it from one of those cable thingies with the metal clips from Ikea and not have to sew a rod pocket at all. Just sayin'...

Speaking of inspiration...every once in a while when I need to zone out and take a break from paper writing I click on over to Pinterest. Have you been there? Oh my...so much to see! I can really get lost there. If you want, you can follow me. (Disclaimer: There is some nudity so be careful about the other eyes in the room. I think it's inappropriate. But...to each his own. I just scroll on by...quickly.)

Another source of inspiration, mainly for the home, is a site called Houzz.com. It's broken down into decorating styles...traditional, eclectic, modern, etc. You create an account and then you can file photos you want to save for inspiration.

I've been taking poetry a bit more seriously as of late...thanks to my creative writing class. A friend recommended Poets.org for some inspiration. As with any reading material there's good stuff...and some maybe not so much. Although, that is just my opinion...what I am not drawn to, someone else may be. That's the beauty of creativity I guess...something for everyone.

And as always one of my ultimate favorite places for inspiration....Flickr. The photos that people take astound me daily...

* * *

What's inspiring you lately?



Wedensday in the Word.

wake up...

Ephesians 5:8-14

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

   

“Wake up, sleeper,
   rise from the dead,
   and Christ will shine on you.”

(Wake up. This isn't a trial run. It's not a rehearsal. This is life. This is it. Do it well.)

no rhyme or reason.

• my homemade pickles came out pretty good this time...finally. maybe a tad much salt...but now I know for next year.
• writing poetry is fun...who knew?
• sausage and tortellini soup for dinner with cheesy bread...hope the fam likes it!
• phone calls from friends..
• friends becoming grandparents...so weird!
• I'm (unbelievably) on task with my school work...feels good.
• not using my camera enough...I miss it.
• I've been sleeping so much better lately...being busy with school and work is a good thing.
• the summer garden is coming to a close...just harvested a few tomatoes this morning and I think that's about it.
• thinking about planting some winter stuff but feeling kind of overwhelmed about it...not a lot of time, not a lot of experience...but really need to go for it, anyway. I'll be sad in the winter if I don't...I know this from experience (last year).

What's tumbling through your mind today? Are your thoughts as disjointed as mine?!