Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wednesday in the Word: Psalm 37:4-5

Psalm 37:4-5
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this
This scripture is so appropriate for today. It was the daily scripture in my planner for today's date. It is so appropriate...and so true.
I do my best to delight myself in the Lord. I do my best to follow His listen carefully for His direction. I do my best to commit my ways to Him...and to trust in Him.
Over the course of about a year, God led me on a journey that showed me His will for my life. Or, what could also be called "the desires of MY heart". These are one in the same. They're one in the same IF we are walking out our faith with God's will in mind. As our hearts become more in line with His, we want to do what he wants us to do. It's amazing, really...
The scripture "the desires of your heart" is not referring to a mansion with beach front property...or a fur coat...or a diamond ring the size of Maui. When the psalmist talks of the desires of our hearts, he is talking about those desires that God places within us and that will become our desires as we walk with Him and desire, more and more, to do His will.
When I was a little girl and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would answer that I wanted to be either an artist or a teacher. Over the course of time I've come to realize that those desires we have when we're little quite often are the ones that we need to listen to. What did we say we wanted to be when we were young and naive and didn't know the meaning of "can't"? What did we want to be when the world was our oyster and anything was possible? For me? Easy. An artist or a teacher. And now I'm realizing that I will be fortunate enough to be both.
Over the course of this past year, God has led me on a journey that helped me realize what He wants me to do. And really, it's a gift. At the end of summer I was watching a speaker on GodTV. I have no idea what he was talking about or where he was from. All I know is he said something along the lines of, "When it's your time to die, make sure that's all you have left to do."
Gulp. Wow. I said it over and over again in my head. It was like a big smack on the forehead. And I instantly knew that if I were laying on my death bed and someone were to ask me if I had any regrets, I knew that not earning my bachelor's degree would be it. I would regret not doing it because it's so doable. I am capable. And it's something I've wanted for a long time.
Not long after I was talking to my son's principal. She asked why I wasn't teaching. I answered, "Because I don't have my degree." She asked why I didn't have my degree. I answered, "Because I haven't finished college." She asked why not. Then said, "You need to go to college and get your degree and your credential so that you can teach special ed. You would be a wonderful teacher."
Wow. WOW. You know what? You are RIGHT! I DO need to do that. And I need to do it SOON.
Right then and there a decision was made. I left the in my car...called Chris from my cell phone and said, "Honey. I'm going back to school." His reply? "Good for you, honey. I think that's a great idea!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
So...there you have it. And all came full circle and is now official. I am officially enrolled at Brandman University pursuing a degree in Social Science. It will take me just under two years...possibly a year and a half if they change their course lengths in the near future. Either way...I'm doing it. I'm pursuing the desires of my heart. I'm trusting God to lead me where He wants me. And in the own dreams will come true, too. Who knew? God. That's Who.
Please keep me in your prayers. I am so excited and so terrified. I almost chickened out! I know I can do it...but there's a little part of me that doubts. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's going to be really good...really hard...and really worth it.


Nancy said...

You are writing an amazing store here. A day at a time. A page at a time. Something that you, Chris and the boys will all be able to say "we did it" when it's all said and done. No, it may not be easy but God doesn't promise easy, does he? Good for you for making it official. Congrats! I can't wait to follow your journey.

Talitha said...

Oh Michelle, I'm so proud of you! Going back to school takes a lot of courage and heart. But you're right... you CAN do it!

Jeannine said...

Congratulations, Michelle! I'm so very excited for you! ♥

Anonymous said...

You can so do this Michelle. I have tons of confidence in you!!!!

Amy Blogs @ River Rock Cottage said...

Yahoo!! You're on your way! And anything He calls you to, He'll see you through! I hope you find the journey as much joy as the destination!
Blessings, my friend!

Anonymous said...

That is so exciting! Good for you! I have committed this year also to seeking God's will for my life. It is scary, it has always been scary to for me to do that and really mean it because i don't have control over where he will lead. that is where the "trust in Him" comes in :)i don't want to be scared to do what he wants me to do. I will be praying for you! You will do great because your heart is already in the right place.

jrosemcgovern said...

YES! You are going to do great! I am so excited for you! love you, my friend! :-)

Elaine said...

Excellent! I'm very excited for you. You will be wonderful at whatever you do!