scattered. and a revelation. and a poem.

Is there a limit as to how many times you can use the same blog post title? Is there a rule? Or a guideline? Would I be breaking good blogging etiquette if I use the same title more than once? More than twice? Once a week? Daily?

And honestly...I don't know if I've ever used the word "scattered" for a post title. Have I? I can't remember. That's just how scattered I am! Maybe I just need to make it a label....

And I'm just realizing that scattered is one of those words that if you say it over and over and over...or think it or type it in this case...it begins to sound weird. Scattered...yes. That's me.

The picture above is of little vases that my boys made in 1st grade. They both had the same teacher. And they both did the same project...three years apart,of course. Seth made the tall, skinny one...a mini wine bottle. His teacher drank, apparently, because she was able to bring in enough of these bottles for the whole class. That certainly explains some things. Ahem.

Anyway...Ian made the shorter one. And I love them. Seriously. LOVE them. The boys, yes. But the vases, too. I will have them forever. And display them proudly.

The vases have nothing to do with whatever the heck I'm talking about today. I just love them. And I liked the photo. And since it makes me happy to look at them I thought it would be fitting to have a picture of goodness when talking about I don't even KNOW what!

So seeing as how this post is taking a nose-dive, I'm thinking bullet-points are in order. I just have too much on my mind today to make any sort of sense. I am in dire need of a list...lists help me sort things out. So here goes...

TO-DO TODAY:

• Call Chapman University. I need to meet with the counselor again to figure out what the heck I'm going to major in. When the heck I'm going to start. And how the heck I'm going to PAY for it!
• Laundry. It taunts me. It mocks me. It must be dealt with....harshly.

TO DO AT SOME POINT THIS WEEK:

• Menu plan. I am inspired by my sweet friend, Nancy. Lately she's been sharing her menus and they sound so good and healthy...not to mention pretty simple and straight forward. My kind of meals! This is something I need to really zero in on. In less than a week, more than likely, I will be a college student. My boys will be busy with baseball practices and games (and school and homework!). And Chris will be coaching Ian's team. We will be one busy family. And we need to eat. We need to eat GOOD food....not fast food. So...I better get busy figuring out some good, healthy meals. Some quick...and some slow. Any recommendations for good, healthy crock pot meals? I'm all ears!
• Bible study. My friend Janetta (Hi Janetta!) is going to be hosting a bible study in her home on Tuesday mornings titled Organic God. I'm really looking forward to this...and at the same time, wondering who the heck I think I am adding this to a schedule that is about to BURST! I'll have to pray about this one...not sure how much I'm capable of.
• Clean. Dust and vacuum. And the kitchen needs a good deep-cleaning.

THINGS I NEED TO DO THAT ARE CLUTTERING MY MIND: These things need to be done at some point...but not right away. But they are there, nonetheless, cluttering up everything else! So I'm going to write them down...get them out of my head...and see if things don't clear up a bit. Obviously, it's not just the weather that's foggy around here.

• Plan the garden. This needs to be done. And probably sorta soon if I want to order seeds. But FIRST I need to go through some seeds that my sweet friend Carolyn sent to me last year. I'll bet there's plenty of seeds to give me a great start...if not a complete garden!
• Wake up earlier. I have not been getting up before everyone else for my quiet time. And I can feel it. It's why I'm so scattered. And disorganized. And frazzled. It's why I can't keep things straight. It's why I'm not sure what to do and where to start. So really...this one, "wake up earlier", needs to be FIRST on the list. If I wake up earlier and spend time with God praying and reading His word...all of these other things would fall into place much neater. And I would be much less scattered. (I'm hearing you, God...loud and clear.)

Interesting how just when I think I'm working things out...and getting things done...God steps in and reminds me what's really going on. Interesting how I think I'm writing a blog post...but really, God is using it to show me where I'm at spiritually, which leads to where I'm at emotionally. This list that I'm making is MY list. But have I stopped to ask if it's His list?

I tell you, this is my life story. The horse before the cart, if you will. I do it all the time. I am one of those that climbs up on the high dive and just runs to the end and leaps...and then realizes on my way down that I forgot to check and see if there's any water at the bottom to catch me!

So. After all of that....I think what I need to do is go open up my bible. And close my eyes. And ask God to start me off in the direction I need to go. I need to ask God to help me line out my bullet-points. What does HE want me to do first? Second? If at all?

Thanks for listening. You were just witness to how God and I work together. I do it my way. He sits and lets me. Then he taps me on the shoulder and politely asks me to "wait up". Then He points out that I'm still as scattered as when I started. And He's right. Always.

Sooo...I'm going to go have my long overdue quiet time. I'll let you know what I find out.

Until then...if you're even still here and haven't deleted any links that might have you end up here on this crazy, dangerous, convoluted, ridiculous blog of mine ever again...here's a poem that was given to me at my first women's retreat. It still smacks me upside the head to this day.

Oh...and God? Thank you.

No Time To Pray

I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray.
Problems just tumbled about me,
and heavier came each task,
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.
He answered, "You didn't ask."
I wanted to see joy and beauty,
but the day toiled on gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn't show me;
He said, "But you didn't seek."
I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock;
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child you didn't knock."
I woke up early this morning,
and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray.

by Grace L. Naessens