Starting "somewhere"...

Anytime you want to do something...or start something new...the saying is, "Hey, you've got to start somewhere, right?"

Red geraniums on my patio table at dusk.

Well, I want to start something new. There is something I want to do. Something I've wanted to do for a long time. I'll venture to say I've wanted to do this since I was a little girl...even going so far as to "start" a few times. However, when I realized it wasn't easy...and didn't just magically happen, I gave up.

That was my m.o. Try something. Don't achieve immediate success. Quit. Then beat myself up for even thinking it was ever a good idea in the first place and what the heck was I thinking?!

The story of my life. Until now.

I'm turning over a new leaf.

So, to turn over a new leaf I have to start "somewhere", right? This is my "somewhere"...reading Bird by Bird:Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott...one of my favorite author's. I read her Traveling Mercies several years back and loved it. Her "voice" is real...and easy...and sarcastic...and I can relate.

And just so you know...I actually bought this book 2 years ago. TWO. And it's taken me this long to get around to reading it. I've thought about reading it. And I've attempted to start reading it. But I've never actually read it. So, starting last night, I'm going to read it. And I'm going to apply it. And I'm going to absorb it. I'm going to take notes in the margins and add sticky notes to my heart's content. This is what I do to books. I mark them up. A lot. And I have a sticky note fetish. But we can talk about that another time.

Anyway...I've been in a bit of a funk for quite a while as far as my life is concerned. Not life itself. Life itself is good...the important parts like healthy kids, loving husband, roof over my head and food in my fridge. That's all well and fine. I mean, we have our struggles and our moments and being in business for ourselves isn't always sunshine and roses. But for the most part, life is good. What I'm talking about is MY life. ME. My SELF. That little, tiny voice deep, deep inside...the one that never shuts up. The one that needs to be heard...or maybe not. It depends on how you look at it.

So...last night I was on the computer, browsing and reading and visiting blogs that I enjoy when I glance up at the TV and my eye quickly passes by the bookshelf in the corner and the book catches my eye. Again. And I decide then and there that I am going to read it. And I am going to apply it. And I am going to see where it leads. I have no idea what's in store...but I am excited about the journey.