Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Exposed.

You ever feel like you just can't get it together? Like you're totally exposed and everyone can see what's going on inside of you? Like everything you're thinking and feeling is just right there...smeared all over your sleeve?
That's me today...exposed. Raw. On edge. On the verge. On the verge of...what? That's where the words stop...and the thoughts begin. That's where that word "incubate" pops into my head. Incubate. God gave me that word as I was writing in my prayer journal one morning.
in*cu*bate 
–verb (used with object)
1. to sit upon (eggs) for the purpose of hatching.
2. to hatch (eggs), as by sitting upon them or by artificial heat.
3. to maintain at a favorable temperature and in other conditions promoting development, as cultures of bacteria or prematurely born infants.
4. to develop or produce as if by hatching; give form to: His brain was incubating schemes for raising money.
–verb (used without object)
5. to sit upon eggs.
6. to undergo incubation.
7. to develop; grow; take form: A plan was slowly incubating in her mind.

I relate to that last one...the one I highlighted. Partly because there is no object (eggs)...obviously I'm not physically incubating anything. Regardless of what some of you may think in regard to my chicken keeping...I haven't gone that far over the edge! (Although I DO find it very funny that this is the word I'm given... incubate...God works in mysterious ways and VERY FUNNY ways.) But I am incubating something inside of me...in my mind and in my heart. I don't know what it is yet...but I know it's there. Part of me is really excited to see what's coming. And the other part of me feels very vulnerable about it all. Exposed.
The bottom line is...I just need to keep my faith. And trust. And continue moving forward...step by step, day by day, moment by moment. And when the time is right...I'll know.

5 comments:

Sojourner said...

Incubate. I like it. Well, I like it for you.

It's not usually a pleasant experience for me to ponder mysteries in my heart for extended periods of time. It rubs up against my weakness of delayed gratification. I want to know.

I'd like to know right now, thank you very much.

You are wise and wonderful. Ponder on my loving friend. I'm right behind you.

dmoms said...

interesting, of course, I want to know more. think out load and expose yourself some more : )

I think i know what you are feeling though.

dmoms said...

out loud - not out load. jeez, i need to learn how to spell.

Nancy said...

I wish I could incubate....I expose myself. Words flow from my lips far too easily. I have to really be aware when I want to keep something close. Like the other commenters, I want to know. So go ahead and say it already.

Michelle said...

dmoms...you are funny...do you know I read it as "loud" anyway? Maybe I need to learn how to READ!I get a little nervous with how "deep" to take it all here on the blog...but I'm heading towards opening it up a bit more. Thanks for the encouragement. Interesting how we are both in transitional periods in our lives. God is good to bring like-minded people together.

Sojourner...you are always so encouraging to me. Thank you...we can do this!

And for the record...I do NOT like to wait either!!