Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Wednesday in the Word

John 5:1-6
1 Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. 2 Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. 5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

God brought this scripture to my mind yesterday morning. I was writing in my prayer journal...praying about Belgium and what I'll be sharing...I was making notes and writing scriptures...and then I heard that whisper, "Do you want to get well?"

Part of what I'm doing in preparation for Belgium is writing a small book to take with me. This little book is going to be about depression. It's going to be about God and His ability to be our Healer. It will be available for sale while in Belgium as we were encouraged to have a "merch table" (a table full of merchandise for sale...books, CD's, etc.) while we're there. The book is still being formed...in my heart and my mind...and every other day or so God gives me something to add to it...a scripture, a chapter title, a thought. Slowly but surely it's taking shape.

What's so interesting is that God birthed the idea of a book in my heart almost two years ago. I had no idea when this idea sparked in my heart what it would be...I just knew that God planted something within me, a desire to write...to share...to communicate. And I knew that if He planted it...He'd also tend it, water it, and help it to grow. I just need to be the willing vessel.

So yesterday I hear, "Do you want to get well?"

It's an important question. DO you?

I'll admit...there was a time that I didn't. I was comfortable right where I was at. It wasn't a good place...or a healthy place...or even a safe place. But it was a familiar place. And sadly, familiarity won over safe and good and healthy.

God asks this question for a reason. Because He wants us to be aware of where we're at emotionally. He wants us to realize that even though we beg God to do this or do that or heal this or heal that...maybe we really don't want to be better. Maybe we're pretty comfy right where we're at....whether it's good for us, or not. I was comfortable in my depression. I got to a place where it "worked" for me. It sounds sick, I know. But it's the truth. I knew my depression well enough that we figured out a way to co-exist. And I figured out a way to make it work in my favor. You know what this is called? Manipulation. And it's ugly.

I don't feel this way anymore. Yes, I still have bouts of depression. But when it hits, I don't entertain it. I don't welcome it in. I don't use it as an excuse. Not anymore. Now when it shows up I fight it with all my might. I fight it with prayer and with God's word and with praise music. I fight it with all I've got because it is no longer welcome here.

And so I feel like I have to ask you...do you want to get well? Is there anything you've been hanging onto that is not good for you anymore? You don't have to answer...unless you want to...and if you do, then you can be assured I will be praying for you. God didn't create us to be sick...or controlled...or to settle. He created us for GREAT things...He has plans for us...He has a plan for me...and a plan for YOU.
Do you want what God has for you? I do. I want every bit of it. But I needed to be "well" to be able to receive it. I needed to be focused on God and not on depression.
Do you want to get well?
Give it to God...let Him heal it. It's not easy, I know. And yes, it hurts. But like everything else...once it's healed, you hardly even know it was there. And then you're ready for the plans God has for you...and trust me, His plans are good.

13 comments:

Mari said...

Michelle, This is so AWESOME! I needed this. I haven't really battled clinical depression, but emotionally I've been down and struggled with it for awhile. I know many women who could use this today. God is going to use you in a powerful way and I am so proud of you for doing this. I would love to have your book when you are finished with it. Can't wait!!
Thanks for sharing this powerful scripture and part from your life experience today.
To God be the glory!!
((hugs))

Sheryl said...

great, great, great!!!

i love that Jesus asks the question because it seems so obvious. of course the man would want to get well. or does he??

i know that i give a lot of lip service to wanting God to completely invade my life, that He would be all i need, but sometimes (often) i realize it's not the truth. i do get comfortable in those things that He wants to heal. or maybe i am not comfortable but afraid of the unknown.

thanks for making me think today. you already know how much i look forward to wednesdays here!

Nancy said...

You've done it again...given much food for thought.

So glad you share here.

Amy @ Homestead Revival said...

Michelle, it's awesome how God uses things like a mission trip to help us go back, reflect, and meditate on what he's taught us. It's like we get the lesson all over again, but the second time it doesn't hurt as much and it begins to really solidify in our minds. I can see God is doing that in you - and it is beautiful to behold! He is so good to us all!

Erin Wallace said...

Michelle, I think God gave this scripture to you for you, Mari, and me! God is amazing. I was thinking about this last night. Feeling woozy from my meds, exhausted, wanting to cry. Id this where I want to be? DO I really want to get well? I know I can't live in the shadow of depression, but it is so easy to become complacent in it. But I keep going because that's all you can do.

A Friend Across the Miles said...

Dearest Michelle...

Thanks for being God's instrument - He plays some mighty fine music through you.

One day you will know how much these words have meant to others.

~~Camie~~

thereisatime said...

What a lovely post. Enjoyed your bible passage. Words to share, for sure. Beautiful, beautiful photography!

peggy said...

hi~

incredible post! thank you soo much! i only recently discovered your blog and i love it! keep up the greaat work!

peggy

ThyHandHathProvided said...

What a powerful post, Michelle. Thank you for sharing this with us. Even if we don't struggle with physical or emotional health issues, we all sin and sin makes us sick.

We need to turn it over and turn our backs to it. I am so excited for every single person who will pick up and read your book. There is power in your words.

Also, I have to say that your header is just plain gorgeous.

Baby Mama said...

WOW!! What a powerful word from God. That hit me right in the heart. I had never thought of it before...do i really want to be well? Hmm.. I need to ponder on this for a while, i mean sure i want to intellectually, but do i really WANT to? Thank you as always for your inspiring words. Ive missed you!

Vintage Girl said...

Oh....my.....word....thank you so much for this post and your words. It's absolutely what I needed today. You are in my prayers and thanks again for putting to 'paper' such encouragement. Blessings, Heather

WhiteStone said...

I think I illustrate that unwillingness to get well when I am in the depths of a cold. I grovel on the sofa, plowing down into the muck and mud of illness. For about three days. Then I finally arise and move towards "getting well". It's that way, spiritually, too. We like to wallow in the mud, letting the pain of our lives coat us. Until finally, we arise, and let God clean us up.

Christina said...

Mmm...Hmm... i have been in this place, and oh, has HE blessed me. staying by my side the whole way.
i love ya!
XO