I'm ready.

It's New Year's Eve. The end of 2009...hours away from 2010.

And I am ready.

I have never really been one to make resolutions. And I'm still not. But I do want to set some goals for myself. Some small. Some big. Some that will be hard. And some that will be....harder. But I'm ready.

I am more excited for this New Year to come than I have ever been about a new year...ever. Partly, yes, because last year sucked! But also because I just have this excitement. This expectancy. This knowing that the coming year is going to good. I believe that God is going to do amazing things in 2010. Not that He doesn't always do amazing things. But I just really believe that 2010 is going to be mind-blowing. And I cannot WAIT to see what's in store! And I am SO ready.

"I'm ready". This is something I've been hearing in my heart during my quiet time...or sometimes during worship at church. I hear it deep inside my heart..."I'm ready". It's a quiet whisper from my heart to God's...letting Him know that "I'm ready". I whisper it before I even really know what I'm whispering. Ready for what? I have no idea. Or maybe I do have a little idea but no idea how to put it into words yet. It's all still little thoughts and snippets and flashes in my mind. He'll iron it out for me...in His time. And...I'm ready when He is.

Ultimately, my bottom line is, "Your will be done." I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to be in His will. So I pray that my goals are His goals. I pray that as I type them out, they are what He has prompted me to do. I pray that He has given me the desires of my heart and that I have heard Him clearly during quiet time and prayer time...and that I am on the same page as He is.

I pray that as I go through this next year...carefully taking the steps He places before me...that I am in His will and living out His plan for me. He had a plan for me even before I was placed on this earth. And I want all He has for me. And I want it to start in 2010. Because...I'm ready.

So...the goals. Right.

• Return to school and complete my bachelor's degree. This will take longer than a year. But that's OK. This one is long-term. And guess what? I'm ready.
• Get organized. There are aspects of my life that are very organized. Like my kitchen. I know where everything is. But I need help in the organizing of my life category. So I bought a day planner...that I will actually use...to keep appointments and classes and such. But also to write down things like "mop floors", "pay PG&E", "cable due", "change oil"...that kind of stuff that I let slip. No more.
• Stop piling. I pile, pile, pile. Paper piles. Book piles. Magazine piles. Piles here at the house. Piles at the office. Piles, everywhere! This goal goes along with getting organized. I need to organize my mail process...which includes a "bill paying center". I am better at tossing junk mail immediately. But I still have those little piles that I keep to "look at later". Then next thing I know, it's a pile! And I haven't looked at a single one! How long do I need to hang on to expired coupons, I ask you? The piles of books might be a bit more of a challenge because I am really taking advantage of my public library. But maybe I can find a basket or something to keep them contained at least!
• Create a budget. Whew. That was a hard one to type! Do you know that I have never had a budget? Ever? I'm 42. I think it's time. This new day planner I purchased has a page at the beginning of each month that is the "budget page". I took it as a sign. Even though I wanted the day planner with the pockets on the inside of the covers...I opted for the planner with the budget page. I'm thinkin' that was a God thing! Because I really wanted those dang pockets! (Maybe I'll make some out of cute stock weight scrapbook papers...)
• Focus on what I CAN do and learn to do it WELL. I need to do what I can and stop wishing I could do something else. Because when I do this, NONE of it gets done. This is a new revelation. An example would be me, browsing Etsy, admiring all of the beautiful knit items and wishing that I could knit. Well, you know what? I can't. But I CAN crochet. So why not work at getting really good at crochet rather than coveting the skills to knit? You know? Rather than wishing I could draw and trying really hard to do it and frustrating myself to the hilt because what I see in my mind and what I see on the page are NOT THE SAME...how about focusing on something I CAN do, like photography. Why not really hone my skills with my camera? Why not really learn about my camera and what it can do? Focus on what I CAN do. Stop wishing I could do something else. Stop starting new hobbies and doing them halfway. I have this problem of wanting to do it all. And really thinking that I CAN do it all! And I CAN do a lot of things. But can I do them really well? No. So why be a jack-of-all-trades and spend time wishing life away? Instead, I want to focus on things I CAN do and get better at them. Those things? Photography, writing, crochet, gardening and preserving.

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So there they are. The goals. The things I want to do. The things I believe God has placed inside of me to accomplish and/or start in the coming year. There are other things that I would like to do. But I don't know that it's what God would have me do. So I will start with what I believe He spoke to me...and if any of the other little things happen as a by-product then I'll just be grateful for the perks. I've learned that it's a lot easier to walk in the will of God than to walk in my own will. His blessing makes all the difference.

So, Lord...thank you for 2009. And bring on 2010. I'm ready when You are.