Thursday, March 22, 2012

a little ray of sunshine.


This is the only bit of "sunshine" we're going to see for a while. It's supposed to start raining tomorrow...although the skies are looking like they could offer some rain sooner.

I'm fine with that.

Can you believe it's already Thursday? The week sure has gone by fast.

I'm not really fine with that.

I wish time would slow down a bit...it's going entirely too fast.

I dropped my son off in front of our house yesterday evening...he was going in to eat dinner and I was heading off to get gas. I caught a glimpse of him in my side view mirror...looking so big and grown...mature...thoughtful, but in a deeper kinda way. And before I knew it I thought, "Oh my gosh...I am going to miss him SO MUCH when he goes off to college."

Then I cried. A lot. I had to pull myself together before getting out of the car to pump gas.

(Yes. I realize he's just a junior and that I have another year to go. But as fast as time is going...he will be heading off to live his life before I know it. And I am already sad about it. I want my babies to be 5 and 3 forever.)

I always thought I was going to handle my kids leaving the nest just fine. I have always thought that I'd be ready. I guess because I have plenty of interests of my own...I don't rely solely on my kids to provide me with my activities...or my worth.

But that's not the point, is it? No matter how busy I may keep myself...no matter how much I prepare myself for them to fly...I will never be ready.

I was created to be a mom...to be their mom. And no matter what...they will always be my babies.

3 comments:

Lisa Gallup said...

I cried my heart out for weeks when Bobby moved out. It will be painful and heart-wrenching, but it does get better. I promise! I had a much easier time when Sami moved out. I'm lucky, though, that both my kiddos are here in Albuquerque. (((hugs)))

Beegirl said...

Soak up your rain.. I know how much you love it! Sun and summer like here with an extra early spring. Frogs are singing. Enjoy your time with your boys. They are so lucky to have a mom who loves them so much! Xo~

Jennifer said...

and you will always be there mom and they will always come back to you, because you've formed THAT kind of relationship, but still....eek I would have a breakdown too.

5 and 3 forever sounds perfect. i loved those days.