gray. rain. wind.

Well...two out of three ain't bad. It's a rainy, windy, gloomy day and I.am.loving.it. Well...except for the wind. I'm not a windy kind of gal. But the more rain the better...so bring it on!

The house is quiet this morning. Ian went to a lock-in at a local church with a group of friends and got no sleep. So when he came home at 7 this morning he took a quick shower and went straight to bed.

Seth is sleeping, too. He went to a dance last night...Morp (Prom, backwards)...and got home after midnight only to get up 5 hours or so later for baseball practice this morning. So when practice was over he came home, ate a plate of waffles and promptly went back to bed.

Chris got up early, too, to go pick Ian up...so now he's lounging on the sofa, relaxing after a long week.

And me? Well...I'm up, showered, sipping the last of my coffee and getting ready to go help my aunt prepare food for a fund-raising gathering tomorrow. My mom and my cousin are helping, too...so it's more of a girl hangout day with some food prep thrown in to keep our hands busy. (I wish Jenna could be there, too!)

So...not a whole lot going on. Just the regular mundane bits of living, really. But since I'm trying to be here at Give a Girl a Fig more often...that's what you get. Just me. Mundane life and all.

quiet.

I let the chickens out last week during a break in the rain. They were instantly happy. Unfortunately their run gets quite mucky with all this rain...so grass and garden beds are a welcome reprieve for them.Oh...and they're giving us three eggs a day again. I really hate buying eggs.

The afternoons are quiet around here. The boys are at practices...wrestling and baseball. Chris has been in the bay area the past couple of days. So when I get home the house is quiet. And let me tell you, after working all day at a junior high...the quiet is a welcome change.

How about you? Did you get a little quiet time today? It's not too late...the day's not over yet.

well...and then just like that...

...it's Wednesday. Really? It never ceases to amaze me how fast the time is flying by...

I've been thinking about so many things lately...life, anxiety, depression, medication, school, work, money, family, death, dying. I gotta say, when Papa went to heaven it really shook me. Losing Papa was such a finalization...it was the end of an era for my family...all of the grandparent's are now gone. And it is so completely unbelievable to me. And it brings to the forefront some realities that I wasn't ready for...like the fact that we all die, one day. I mean, duh. I know this. But to know it and to know.it are two different things.

I know...kinda deep. And I'm doing a terrible job sharing my thoughts about it all. You are getting fragments...because that's how it all is in my brain...fragmented. Like nothing is flowing smoothly in my head...just a jumble of different thoughts that I can't really even properly formulate because I'm so busy living life and getting through each day that I haven't made time to really think anything through.

And before anyone worries...I am good. I am fine. I am powering through all of this and relying on God to help me with every bit of it. Yes...it all makes me have some anxiety. I'm not gonna lie. And for a minute my mind tried to jump into the pit of depression.

But...I fought it...with God and prayer and reading scripture. And I am continuing to fight it...and I will win. But like I wrote to a friend (I've been praying for you today, my friend)...sometimes the battle is just a little tougher to fight. But I am always victorious...every single time. Sometimes it just takes longer to get past it than others. And that's OK.

So on that note...here's one of my favorite scriptures for you...it pulls me out every time...

Isaiah 43:1-3

¹ But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

a slow weekend..

This has been a nice weekend so far...lots of rain and rest and time.

Friday night we cheered Seth on in a "Mr. GQ" contest at his school...it was really fun. And very entertaining. And...he won!

Yesterday, everyone got a nap. Ian hung out with a friend then he and I got a coffee and took a ride in the country to take rainy day photos. Chris got to watch his beloved Ohio State win the game. Seth went to a friend's birthday party. Brought home burgers for dinner.

It was a good Saturday in my book.

Today we will head to the coast. Yes, in the rain. There is a deli near Bodega Bay that we all love so we are going to take a drive and get some fish n chips for dinner. And maybe some chowder. Oh...and calamari. It'll be a nice way to celebrate winning contests and good report cards.

Yeah...a little family time goes a long way with everyone running a different direction most days.

⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God^[c];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:5-8

for my aunt...

Only an aunt can give hugs like a mother,

keep secrets like a sister

and share love like a friend.

Happy Birthday Aunt Lisa!!

a little ray of sunshine.

This is the only bit of "sunshine" we're going to see for a while. It's supposed to start raining tomorrow...although the skies are looking like they could offer some rain sooner.

I'm fine with that.

Can you believe it's already Thursday? The week sure has gone by fast.

I'm not really fine with that.

I wish time would slow down a bit...it's going entirely too fast.

I dropped my son off in front of our house yesterday evening...he was going in to eat dinner and I was heading off to get gas. I caught a glimpse of him in my side view mirror...looking so big and grown...mature...thoughtful, but in a deeper kinda way. And before I knew it I thought, "Oh my gosh...I am going to miss him SO MUCH when he goes off to college."

Then I cried. A lot. I had to pull myself together before getting out of the car to pump gas.

(Yes. I realize he's just a junior and that I have another year to go. But as fast as time is going...he will be heading off to live his life before I know it. And I am already sad about it. I want my babies to be 5 and 3 forever.)

I always thought I was going to handle my kids leaving the nest just fine. I have always thought that I'd be ready. I guess because I have plenty of interests of my own...I don't rely solely on my kids to provide me with my activities...or my worth.

But that's not the point, is it? No matter how busy I may keep myself...no matter how much I prepare myself for them to fly...I will never be ready.

I was created to be a mom...to be their mom. And no matter what...they will always be my babies.

Wednesday in the Word.

¹ Praise the LORD.

How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

² The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the exiles of Israel.
³ He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
⁴ He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
⁵ Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
⁶ The LORD sustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.

⁷ Sing to the LORD with grateful praise;
make music to our God on the harp.

⁸ He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes grass grow on the hills.
⁹ He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.

Psalm 147:1-9

It's Monday.

Again.

Already.

That's all I have to say about that.

another Sunday...

We watched a movie this morning, The Way by Emilio Estevez. So good...SO good. Beautifully written...amazing cinematography. And the music is beautiful, too. Makes me want to make the pilgrimage...someday.

Yesterday felt like Sunday all day...so today is kinda like a bonus. Although time seems to be slipping through my fingers...it's already so late in the day.

Ian is finally better. Still a little foggy, maybe...from being cooped up for a week. Poor guy. He'll be doing makeup work today...not his favorite way to spend a sunny (but cold) Sunday. Yeah...the rain stopped. For now anyway...forecast says more around Tuesday.

But...for today. Sunshine. And time.

Does time ever trip you out? I know that's a weird term..."trip you out". But sometimes, if I think about time too much, I do trip out. Time is such a strange concept. We're always wanting to know what time it is...running our days by the clock...wake up, get to work, eat lunch, eat dinner, go to bed...all at a regular time most days. Time is a funny thing...and cruel really. And no matter what we want or need or do or think...time just ticks on and on. There's never enough of it. And yet we waste it so willingly. Maybe these are the thoughts we begin to have as we age? And as we lose loved ones? Or as our children grow and the reality of them leaving the safety of where we are sinks in?

Hmm...somewhat serious today, aren't I?
That's OK...sometimes it's good to be serious.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

green.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. I'm actually wearing green. Don't wanna get pinched, ya know! Remember that? In school? Oh, I hated that.

I have to admit, I'm not a big "secondary" holiday person. I made up that "secondary" thing...but you know what I mean. I am more of a BIG holiday person. I will gladly celebrate Easter and Christmas and Thanksgiving. But these others? The smaller ones? Yeah...I don't make a big deal of them.

Party pooper...I know.

I did buy corned beef, though. And cabbage. And potatoes. I'm going to prepare it like an old friend's mom did when we were in high school. Simmer the meat per the directions. Then toward the end add in peeled potatoes...simmer a while...add in carrots...simmer a bit more...then the cabbage. And then it's done in just a few more minutes.

What I loved about how my friend's mom prepared it was that she left the potatoes whole and just quartered the cabbage. So everything was in big hunks...including the tender meat that would just fall apart when it was done. Then when you served all that deliciousness onto your plate you'd gently mash the potato a bit and top with butter, salt and pepper to taste. I always added extra pepper. Oh my...was it ever good.

(Would it be rude to let you know that I'm salivating?)

I'm watching The Pioneer Woman on Food Network. She's making a warm spinach salad and olive cheese bread and it looks so good. I may need to make that sometime soon...

(Hmm...I think I may be hungry. I'm salivating again.)

Okie dokie...I'm going to get this Saturday started. I need to wash bedding and the bathroom and the kitchen floor. I may even dust. And in a while, I'm going to get that corned beef a simmerin'...can't wait!

sick bay.

I've been spending a LOT of time at the kitchen sink this week. Washing hands. Washing dishes. Washing hands. Preparing meals. Washing hands. Dosing medicine. Getting glasses of water and juice and powerade. And coffee (for me). And washing hands. (I don't want to get sick!) But really...I spend a lot of time at the kitchen sink every day. Don't we all?

I've been home with Ian this whole week...he's still sick...it is a doozy. His temperature got up to 102.2 yesterday afternoon so I called the dr. back as she advised. Getting worse instead of better is not an option. She went ahead and called in an antibiotic.

When I took Ian to the dr. the other day he told me he is "anti medicine". Yeah. Me too. But sometimes...we have to be grateful for it, even though we know that we have to take the bad with the good sometimes. (Like the "abdominal pain" he experienced, likely from the super dose of antibiotics.) He didn't want to take his cough medicine with codeine last night...I didn't really want him to take it either. He noted that he had already taken Ibuprofen and two strong antibiotic pills. He didn't want more... But it did help him get some sleep the night before...so...

I don't blame him. When I was dealing with asthma last year around this time I didn't like taking the inhalers. Did I need it? Yes. I needed it. It helped. And I was grateful for it. But I didn't like it. I didn't like tasting the chemicals every time I coughed.

So anyway...we've been at home all week. Ian has been stuck on the couch...all week. Yesterday I dragged him to the Starbuck's drive-thru...latte for me, strawberries and cream for him. Then we took a drive in the rain down one of our favorite country roads snapping random photos (none of which turned out...but that's ok, it's always a gamble when you just point and shoot as you're driving). It was a good break from looking at the same four walls.

Today marks Day 4 calling in sick to work. I hate that. But I would hate even more not being able to be with him. So I'm grateful for understanding coworkers.

He is still asleep. I'm going to give credit to the humidifier. I love that thing. I think it's the miracle cure for so many things. I can't believe I forgot to run it for him until last night. So unlike me! I run that thing every time one of the boys is sick. Always have since they were tiny guys. How did I forget?

Either way...I ran it last night. And it seems he's sleeping better.

So today is another home day in the sick bay. The timing is good with the rain and all. Although I do need to run out and get some milk...and a few other small items. And I may go to the post office...we'll see how crowded it is. (I have a bit of an aversion to the post office.)

xo

hot water.

The other day I was washing dishes, by hand since our dishwasher has been broken for months, and the hot water running over my hands felt so good. I stood there, rinsing the morning's meals from the plates and I thanked God for it...for hot water, and plenty of it.

I do that in the shower too....say 'thank you' for the hot water. I try to do it every day...and I don't always. But most days, as the hot water rinses away the dirt and the worries and the stress I say 'thank you, God' for hot water.

I ran some hot water in the bathroom sink and sprinkled in a generous amount of salt for a breathing treatment for Ian last night. (Yes, he's still sick. The dr. says it's a virus and has to run its course.) And as I did I said a prayer of thanks...for the hot water. For the simplicity of salt and water and its healing properties. Ian sat for as long as he felt able, head over the sink of hot water, towel over his head, breathing in the simple solution...I felt like a good mom. He said it helped a little. (And that it was weird. Ha!)

After he was done the water was still hot. So I closed the bathroom door, put the towel over my head and breathed in deep hoping it would comfort me, too. It did...and I said a prayer of thanks to God for the hot water.

I am sorry to say I am definitely a person who likes her comforts. I take my own pillow everywhere. (I even tried to think of ways I could pack it for Belgium! But I did not...) I always have lotion and medicine and lip balm with me at all times. Oh, and a water bottle. With ice. Lots of it.

(Hmm...hot water, ice water...apparently I'm not a 'room temp' kinda girl.)

Whenever we go somewhere I pack way too much...and I think of every single possible thing that maybe just might could possibly happen and I prepare for that. It annoys my husband like crazy. And requires more trips to pack the car than necessary. But it makes me feel good. You remember the Stolpa's right? Yeah. I like to be prepared.

No, I'm not good at being uncomfortable. At all. So I do my best to be grateful for those things that bring me comfort...a warm bed, a sturdy roof over my head, a heater that works, and hot water.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

-Colossians 4:2

it's raining...and the chickadees are in the Japanese maple.

Oh...can I tell you how happy I am that the rain is finally here? I woke up this morning to rain drops dripping down the kitchen door and it instantly put a smile on my face. Well...maybe not a smile on my face as I am sort of a grump in the morning. But I was definitely smiling on the inside.

I keep meaning to tell you about these adorable little chickadees that visit our birdfeeder in the Japanese maple outside the front window. Chris and I can see them as we sit and sip coffee and get the day started. They are really cute...and some of them are crested. But for some reason I can't find a picture online of a crested chickadee. I will just have to take my own I suppose. The chickadees always travel in two's...I think I remember reading somewhere that they mate for life. But don't quote me on that...I'm too lazy to look it up.

Ian is still sick...poor guy. I made him a dr. appt....we'll go in a couple of hours. Instincts tell me it's a virus of some sort, but we're going to go to the dr. to find out for sure. If he does need an antibiotic I don't want to make him wait any longer, he's in a good amount of discomfort.

Until then he's on the couch...and I'm on the computer. I have two quizzes to take for my online class as well as a discussion to post. I will get to work on that when we get back from the dr. 

But for now, I think I will make myself a hot cup of tea and enjoy the rain for a while.

waiting on the rain.

It was supposed to rain yesterday...and today...but so far, nothing. It bums me out a little...

I stayed home today with a sick boy...Ian came down with a cough and sore throat Saturday night on the way home from the tournament and has been down for the count since. He was in bed or on the couch all day yesterday...and today he's done the same. He's been drinking lots of fluids though...if nothing else, I have pounded in the importance of hydration to these boys of mine. Between sports and sick beds, they know to drink, drink, drink.

It's weird having to call in "sick" for work. That's the one thing I don't like about being a working mother...that pull between work and home...the guilt of leaving the kids when they're sick...or having to leave people hanging at the job. I don't like that feeling at all. But today I knew I needed to be home with Ian so I just made the necessary calls and let myself be Dr. Mom today. No guilt.

The job is going well. I like my co-workers. And I like the kids that I work with. And I LOVE the school...there are so many nice, nice people there. It makes going to work a joy. Honestly. I feel blessed by that...not everyone can say the same, ya know?

Anyway...on that note...I'm going to get my boy some more juice and maybe a sandwich. He's feverish and achy...but he's still hungry! I think that's a good sign. (Oh...he just requested a smoothie. I think I can handle that.)

it's a random kind of Sunday...

found here

• Have I ever told you that elephants are my favorite animal? They are. I love them. When I was very pregnant with Seth we watched a documentary one night about elephants...how devoted they are, what good mothers they are, how fierce they are....how they love forever and how they mourn the loss of a loved one just like we do. One of the mamas lost her baby elephant...it died. And she stayed with it for days...even after her herd had left. She stood near her baby and just swayed back and forth, touching it and nudging it with her trunk. It was AWFUL to watch. I cried, hard, the entire length of the documentary and then some. (Hey...remember now, I was like 8 months pregnant!) Elephants are beautiful and amazing. I love elephants...
• Was that a random fact, or what? Daylight Savings Time does that to me...excuse while I am a little bit "off" for the next 6 months.
• Ian is sick...sore throat, fever, tired and dizzy. He has a good appetite though...so that's good. He requested chicken enchilada soup for dinner...coming right up!
• I bought radishes at the grocery store today. They were on sale and I was kinda craving them. Did you know that radishes are rich in Vitamin C, Calcium, Folic Acid and Potassium? Yeah, me either.
• So speaking of radishes...as I was slicing a couple to snack on I made the observation that every time I slice something I count by two's in my head. Why two's and not just counting in order...1, 2, 3?
• Which brings to mind this number thing I do in my head...I've always got numbers going through my head...adding and multiplying mostly. I add up the numbers on license plates a lot...or billboards. I add them up and say the number is 28. I then add 2+8 to get 10. I then add 10 to 28 for a total of 38. Then 3+8=11...I add 11 to 38 for a total of 49. And I just keep going on and on and on until I get to a number I "like" (or I get distracted) so that I can stop. Stopping on Prime numbers is always good...but you just never know. Does anyone else do anything like that? Please share...I'm feeling a bit vulnerable here...
• Ben & Jerry's was on sale today. I bought Strawberry Cheesecake. Yes I did. I don't do it often...but every once in a while, it must be done.
• The Girls are still rewarding us with 3 eggs a day in return for some free-ranging time in the yard. They love to go in the garden and dig little dust bathing holes and fluff their feathers and sun themselves. It's really cute...and they aren't destroying the plants!
• I don't like Daylight Savings Time AT ALL. I think I have mentioned this every year since starting this blog. And if you know me, I tell you this every.single.year. But I don't care. I don't like it. It throws me off. It makes me grouchy. It makes me cook dinner late. It makes me lose sleep. Yuck. Not a fair exchange...why can't we just leave well enough alone?

Alrighty...well the soup is simmering and Chris and Ian are waiting on me to start a movie, Source Code. I guess I better get going. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday...xoxo

When all else fails...

...share a mosaic of Flickr Favorites! I still haven't taken any of my own photos...the camera has taken a back seat to work, homework, family, laundry, Sudoku....you name it, it has come before my camera.

I am craving a cold, rainy and gray day so I can grab a latte and my camera bag and go for a drive.

Although....the last time I did that I got stuck in the mud! Totally worth it though...I got some cool photos that day.

*Note to self...do NOT pull over onto the shoulder on a country road after a good rain. ;)*

Yesterday the temperature was in the 70's...and as much as I love the rain, I have to admit, it was a gorgeous day. I opened all the windows and aired the place out. It felt good.

My new job is going well. (Part-time for those who had asked...perfect for my school schedule.) I am grateful for it but getting up and moving so early has been an adjustment. I've been used to getting up slow...getting everyone out of the house...then getting myself ready. But I've been getting up around 5:30ish, turning the coffee on then hopping in the shower. I get dressed, grab a cup of coffee then take some time to sit and read the bible and write in my journal. It's time well spent before everyone gets up and starts running here and there.

All in all...not bad for a Monday. Work was good. I went straight to the grocery store and it wasn't too busy. Got home, put groceries away and tossed some chicken in the oven. I ate some lunch, caught up on email and now here I am, trying to be better at posting here on a regular basis. Yes, even if I am rambling on and on about boring and mundane daily life and quite possibly repeating myself. Sometimes I can't remember if I've already written about something. OR if I just thought about writing about it, but never did, so that when I finally do, it feels like I'm repeating myself.

Oh...I don't know. Welcome to my world. If you haven't figured out that I can be a bit scatter-brained now and then...you definitely know about it now!

Alrighty peeps...time to finish up a paper that's due today. I am not liking this class, I gotta say. That makes me kinda sad because I have had such great experiences with my online classes up until this point. But...one negative experience out of the bunch isn't bad, right? Before I know it, I'll be done and moving on to the next class. It really does go by so fast...

the weekend.

Saturday already? Yesterday didn't seem like a Friday...it seemed more like a Thursday...ya think?

Either way...the weekend is here. We made Boboli pizzas for dinner last night and watched a couple of movies...Moneyball and Cowboys and Aliens. I went to bed halfway through the alien movie...I was dozing off in the chair so I figured I may as well go to bed. Moneyball was good...I enjoyed it. I'm not a Brad Pitt fan, really...but I liked him in this one.

We're headed to my brother's later for a birthday celebration for my dad. I'm making cake and salad. Dad requested my sister in law's fried catfish for his birthday dinner. I think mom is making fried rice...sounds like it's gonna be a good dinner!

I have a paper to write this weekend...as usual. Luckily I did all my quizzes and such earlier in the week...glad to have all of that out of the way. The other class I was signed up for was cancelled due to low ennrollment...and they weren't offering anything else that I needed. So I'm taking a term off by default. Not real crazy about that...but it is what it is. I'll get back on track in 8 weeks. The good news is that I was given credit for a class that I originally hadn't been given credit for. My advisor petitioned it for me and it worked! Gotta love that!

Okie doke...I suppose I should get my day going. Gotta bake that cake! Happy Saturday to you...what's on your calendar for today?

boy, working sure does put a damper on one's blogging now doesn't it?

Wow...sorry for the long absence. Between being sick and finishing up my class and then working all this week, I haven't blogged much. Sorry about that. I think about it...and want to...but I think I've mentioned before, my blog posts almost always are inspired by a photo. A photo that *I* took, more specifically. And seeing as how I haven't taken any photos for weeks my inspiration for writing is lacking. Thank goodness for Pinterest, eh? Tons of inspiration there!

So my patience and persistence has finally paid off in the job department...I finally got a permanent position at the jr. high. I am an aide in the special ed class that I've been subbing in for the past two weeks. Now it's official...I'm not just a sub. I'm an actual employee. Finally! It seems I've been at this for so long...

It rained yesterday and today and I loved it. I'm sad it's done.

Have you been watching American Idol? I keep forgetting it's on. But I watch it when I remember...

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday...we're gonna have some dinner with the family...and of course, cake. Chocolate, his favorite. And presents.

We ate broccoli from our garden again. I haven't done anything with the chard. Or the collards. I don't know what to do. And I haven't really looked into it. I did see a recipe on Paula Deen the other day (she looks like she's slimming down, dontcha think?)...collards, white beans, turkey sausage...it looked pretty good. I think I'll give it a try this weekend since I have all the ingredients.

Anyway...that's about it for now...I've been falling asleep before nine every night...and I don't think tonight is any different. I am ti-ired. xo