1 You are always righteous, LORD,
when I bring a case before you.
Jeremiah 12:1
I'm still wandering aimlessly...trusting I am headed in the right direction.
It's so strange to not be involved in anything church related. It's also turning out to be a much-needed break for me...from all things religious.
Don't get me wrong...church can be a good thing. It can be nice to be around like-minded people...to be able to have conversations about God and miracles and prayer without being looked at like you just sprouted a second head. God calls us to fellowship with other believers...and that usually happens more readily in a church setting.
But He also called us to love each other. And sometimes, I am learning, the two don't necessarily go together. I'm not willing to accept that.
So I am wandering...I'm in the desert so to speak. Think Israelites, right? Dangit...I wish I couldn't relate to them so well. On one hand I'm grateful for the bible...for God's Word that shares the stories of those that walked this walk of faith before us. I read the words and I know I'm not alone...that I'm normal. But on the other hand, dangit...why can't I be abnormal in this instance? (No comments from the peanut gallery about being abnormal, thankyouverymuch ;)
I guess what I need to figure out at this point in my journey with God is...am I okay with wandering in the desert because I know that I am learning valuable lessons along the way? Or am I okay with wandering in the desert because it's become my new normal...and I'm getting complacent?
If you know the story of the Israelites they wandered the desert for 40 years...grumbling, complaining, fighting, whining...all the while, we know now, the trip should have taken something like 11 days. Eleven days. They wandered for forty years.
I don't want to be able to relate to the Israelites in this case. I don't want what was meant to be an 11 day journey to turn into a 40 year journey. I really don't. But I have to be honest...I'm just not sure what's going on with me. I don't know where I'm at spiritually.
Am I headed in the right direction? Or am I going in circles? I don't know... I really don't...
What I do know...no matter what...and no matter how far I may wander...is that God is good. And He loves me. And has me in the palm of His hand...always. And when the time is right...in His timing...when He says I am ready...He will lead me out of this desert and into the promised land...
Amen.
5 comments:
your last paragraph - hold onto that.
I don't think any of us take the short route. We have to wander around for a while sometimes.
Amazing post and one I relate to on so many levels. Thank you for sharing this. It made me feel less alone. God really is GREAT and, like you, I know that he's always holding me right in his palm. Sometimes knowing that is my only true comfort. I think the wandering is a good thing. Maybe is serves as a way of helping us discover out true selves. All is His time, right :)
I wandered in the wilderness for the past 26 years. God has opened a new door I have cried out for. Among so many changes God blessed my family with, we are all saved, and I have a career promotion that will allow us the things we lived without for so long.
I am now bridging between wilderness and promise land, and it feels good, but celebration looks different when the struggles have transformed you into a lesson learned. I am quieter, reflective, still, and at peace. And what a warrior I am on behalf of others. I just won't lie down.
You were there during my journey in the wilderness, and believe that my constant prayers are with you.
All my love to you!
Great post, Michelle. I have definitely turned what could be a brief journey into a LIFETIME journey. I admire your confidence in God.
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