Friday, June 10, 2011

distant.


Summer is here. Pretty much, anyway. The boys are out of school. The days are warming...finally, some will say. Not me. I'm dreaming of living somewhere else...somewhere cooler, somewhere higher up, somewhere...else.

The sun is shining. The birds are singing. People are wearing shorts and tank tops. But...the air is still. Already feeling a bit stifling. Not now...but I know what's coming. And I'm not ready. I never am.

I can feel that sense of dread...maybe feelings similar to those with SAD feel as winter approaches? I don't know...because in my world, when winter comes, I begin to wake up. I am refreshed. I feel alive. Like with anything else, just add water (in the form of rain) and I perk up instantly.

The heat makes me wilt...I feel distant, and not myself.

I try to look at "the bright side"...fresh, warm tomatoes...all the Vitamin D you could ask for...sleep ins...barbecues...fried zucchini cakes...and it helps some...

...but it's not enough. It's a real stretch, actually. My attempt at not being negative during summer. Is it working?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

But again...the reminder in my head....one.day.at.a.time.

Don't worry about tomorrow...one.day.at.a.time.

And then I am reminded of the words of Matthew...33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Easier said than done. But..it's worth a try.

9 comments:

Kris Watson said...

Thank you SO much for the eloquent post. I understand how you feel completely, but I could never have written it so well. I am an autumn person. That's when I come alive, as you do in winter. I live in the land of 100 degree summer days, and it's just so hard.... Let's start a countdown to our own seasonal rebirths!

Nancy said...

we're on opposite ends of the spectrum. i do love spring and fall but if i had to pick summer or winter, i pick summer. you would too if you had to endure the brutal cold temps and stiff north winds of a KS winter. no fun. i've been telling myself that i will not complain this summer when i grow tired of 100+ degree heat days; i complained a lot this last winter.

Denise said...

I appreciate your honesty - may I suggest Seattle for you?

56 degrees today and overcast :)

xoxo

Shannon said...

I can so relate to this.

Fall is my favorite time of year. I actually like Summer the least of the Seasons - which is the reason my move from Southern California to Minnesota has been absolutely fine :o)

I don't like hot weather it drains me and makes me grumpy. The days in MN are long during the Summer. It doesn't get dark until almost 11:00 p.m. in July! No joke. This makes for an exhausting Summer. Kinda hard to convince the kids to go to bed when it is still bright as day outside. Like you I look forward to the unique things we get to do and eat in Summer...and I really try to just take it one day at a time and not worry.

It is nice to know I am not alone :o)

teekaroo said...

You should live in Wyoming! The summers are short and the winters last forever. I'm a spring and fall girl myself. Winter is too cold and summer is so busy, it's over before I've enjoyed it.

Jeannine said...

Heat can be so depleting, physically and emotionally. Living in warm (and very hot) climates almost my entire life, I understand the ways in which summer can take its toll.

You don't have to pretend everything is great when it's not. Taking tiny steps each day is the thing. Sometimes it's not even one day at a time, but one moment.

Mavis said...

I'm a fall girl... If it gets over 70 degrees I start to get cranky...

Beegirl said...

I bloom in Autumn..
We get so much gray and overcast weather here (like Seattle) that I soak up any sunny day I can get! Keep cool.. Maybe hide in the library?? : ))

MAYBELLINE said...

I am so with you sister. Swamp pants annoy me.