Sunday morning...

When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart. ~John Bunyan

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May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:2

you are valuable.



succulent clippings from my mom and dad's garden.


You are valuable. I just wanted you to know that.

You are valuable and you are worth it. You are beautiful...and creative...and smart...and worthy.

YOU are enough.

My friend sent me this link yesterday (thank you, again, K)...such beautiful words to live by...and to know...and believe.

Please go read it. I know you won't be sorry.

And never, ever forget...that you are valuable.

messy.

A little corner of the garden...next to the cold frame turned compost bin...the piles happen outside, too. Dangit. I'm continuing to learn to just go with it.

I'm working two jobs today...this morning I'll be subbing at a local elementary school in the nurses office. Then this evening I'll close at the book store. Tomorrow, the same schedule. How I went from no jobs to two...? Not sure. But I'm grateful...the extra money is helpful. We've got a lot of extras this month...camps, sports, clothes for kids that grew overnight again. Skinny jeans that look more like capris aren't cute...on boys.

I work the first job at 10:30...I'll be done at 2:15. Then I have to make that stop at Costco that I still haven't done yet this week. I'll come home...figure out something for the guys to make themselves for dinner, maybe watch a little Oprah (yes...I will. I don't always agree with what she says. Matter of fact...I get so irritated with her more often than not, lately. But I've watched her since the beginning...will miss her when she's gone...so yes, I'm watching her until the end. Judge if you must.)...then head to the other job at 5:30.

I don't know how women who have to work two jobs do it. I really feel for them. And having to leave their kids home in the process? I know they're old enough...I know they can handle it...but just because you can ________, doesn't always mean you should __________. Fill in your own blanks.

I'm really distracted lately with work schedules...finances...time...life. I feel like my mind must look like that pile of gardening supplies. Messy. Probably worse as the things in my mind don't all make sense...or have a common theme. It's a big jumble...so I continue to remind myself to do one thing at a time. And I continue to break my days up into small manageable slots...one thing at a time. So far it's working out!

OK...off to start those "manageable slots"...don't want to be late!

Wednesday in the Word.

Psalm 57

1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,

for in you my soul takes refuge.

I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings

until the disaster has passed.

2 I cry out to God Most High,

to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

3 He sends from heaven and saves me,

rebuking those who hotly pursue me;

Selah

God sends his love and his faithfulness.

4 I am in the midst of lions;

I lie among ravenous beasts—

men whose teeth are spears and arrows,

whose tongues are sharp swords.

5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;

let your glory be over all the earth.

6 They spread a net for my feet—

I was bowed down in distress.

They dug a pit in my path—

but they have fallen into it themselves.

Selah

7 My heart is steadfast, O God,

my heart is steadfast;

I will sing and make music.

8 Awake, my soul!

Awake, harp and lyre!

I will awaken the dawn.

9 I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;

I will sing of you among the peoples.

10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;

your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;

let your glory be over all the earth.

God sends His love and faithfulness. Beth Moore spoke Psalm 57 this morning on a show I was watching. And it got me. She focused on verses 1 and 2...I needed to focus on the whole thing. I've read it four times already...and each time I hear...God sends His love and faithfulness.

There are times when I think about God...and all He's done...and my thought is, "Well, yeah. He's GOD." It's a bit of a flippant attitude...maybe even with a bit of a "spoiled teenager with a deserving attitude" kind of attitude. You know what I mean? Almost like I take my relationship with God for granted...and maybe even take HIM for granted.

This conviction makes me wince I have to admit. To take God Almighty for granted? To walk each day in freedom...because of HIM...and not even give it a second thought? Yes...I take it for granted. I take HIM for granted. I'm not proud.

Yesterday was kind of a weird day...not sure what it was, really. It just felt weird...distant...surreal in some ways. Of course it was business as usual...get the kids off to school, prepare lunch for when Chris came home, laundry, chickens, garden, bills. Mopping floors, rearranging cabinets, tossing things in the donation box, going to the grocery store.

In the midst of it all...there was an underlying...darkness. Maybe darkness isn't the right word...or maybe it is. Things felt unsettled. Not necessarily in me. But...in the world, if that makes sense. As I was running errands and driving through town and going into stores...I felt this sense of...I don't even know how to explain it. Almost like it all wasn't even real.

Or maybe it was all too real.

Outside of one store there were 4 or 5 homeless people. They were just sitting there...holding signs...coughing...filthy...they all had the same look on their faces...empty. Tired.

Outside of another store there was a mother with three small children. They were wild...and she was impatient. It was not a good combination.

Inside of that same store was a couple...an angry man...and a broken woman walking about 10 paces behind him. Bruises on her arms. Sadness in her eyes.

As I drove home and looked around...people walking, people driving, people running this crazy race right along with me...people everywhere. And I felt very alone.

But as Joyce Meyer says..."BUT GOD..."

BUT GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Fighting a battle that you just can't fight anymore?

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Feeling alone in this great big crazy world?

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Bill collectors calling from 8am until 9pm?

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Kids making you crazy with worry?

GOD sends His love and faithfulness. (And He sends it to our children, too....even if they don't know it.)

Anxiety or depression preventing you from leaving the house?

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Chronic, physical pain about to push you over the edge?

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Church people making you scratch your head? I have to say...I've had some interesting encounters with church people. Church people I trust, no less. I have to admit, I'm pretty disenchanted with church people. (And before you say it, I'm SO tired of the excuse, "Christians are human, too." Yes. They are. But when we  become Christians we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit, and are therefore called to be different. I am called to be different. And SO ARE YOU. Be nice.)

Even still...

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Life. In general. Daily. Sometimes it's nothing in particular...but everything all piled up so we can't put our finger on just one thing. Life.

BUT GOD...

GOD sends His love and faithfulness.

Thank you God...for your love...and your faithfulness. I couldn't do this without you.

nothing in particular, really...

herbs in the garden...survived the winter...and the chickens.

I have a nice list of to-dos today...Costco, pay bills, plant succulents that I didn't plant yesterday, wash bedding and make beds. (Or maybe just my own bed and the boys can make their own! I like that idea better.)

I want to make a stop by the thrift store later this afternoon...drop off a small box of donations...then drive around, park my car, go inside and see what treasures I can't live without. What? I figure as long as I donate more than I buy then I'm still ahead of the clutter game. Don't worry...I watch Hoarders...I am leaving a path. (Kidding!)

I am eating an English muffin with peanut butter and jelly for breakfast. I thought I'd have an egg and toast...but there was one, teensy little serving of jam in the bottom of the jar...a teensy serving I couldn't see putting back in the fridge, and a serving I couldn't see wasting. So...I changed my breakfast plans to include that teensy little bit of jam...and it was quite tasty.

Um...what else? Hmm...Seth has his last baseball game of the season this afternoon. That'll keep us busy until after 6pm. I think we'll have biscuits and gravy for dinner again...that is one of the quickest meals to cook ever. No...not the healthiest. But it's good...it's quick...it's ready in about 15 minutes...and my family likes it.

I am on the sub list for our school district...not as a teacher but to fill in for clerical positions. One of those positions is the Health Clerk...aka school nurse. I got a call yesterday to sub tomorrow, Wednesday, through Monday at an elementary school. I subbed last Friday as the Health Clerk at another elementary school and it was hilarious. Little kids are a riot. I never saw so many bumped heads. Luckily none of them needed surgery. ;)

Anyway...it's not a bad gig...the hours are great...10:30-2:15. The only bummer is that I'm scheduled to work at the book store Thursday and Friday night at 5:30 until closing...so I'll be doubling up on those days. But that's OK...work is work. I am grateful for the bit of income.

I got up a bit early this morning for some quiet time with God and some prayer journaling.
God gave me Colossians 3:12-15...

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Alrighty...better get going on that list of to-do's...

What's on your to-do list today?

Today is Monday.

Me and my boys
in 2005. Time goes
so fast...

Yesterday was Sunday. And Mother's Day. I went and picked up my mom around 9:30am and we headed out to the cemetery to take Noni some flowers. Mom got her a big, beautiful bouquet and I got her a corsage. Noni loved flowers. And she loved corsages. If she were still here I'd have given her a box of Almond Roca to go along with it.
We stayed a while arranging Noni's flowers...and talking to her a bit...telling her we missed her...and crying some. It was a nice time...and we know Noni would have appreciated it all.

I miss Noni...a lot.


Afterward mom and I went to get some lunch. We went to Panera for some soup and a sandwich and ended up sitting and talking for 2 and a half hours! But...that's nothing new for my mom and me. We always talk a lot. (You may have figured out by now...I can be a bit chatty. Ahem.) Chris knows that once I get on the phone with my mom it's gonna be a while. I love that my mom and I can talk like that...I love my mom.
 
She gave me a sweet card and a Starbuck's gift card for Mother's Day...so nice. She didn't need to do that. She and my dad also gave me a bag full of succulent clippings. Can't wait to get those planted!
 
I found my way home around 2:30 or so and walked in to a family happy to see me, a stack of cards and gifts and steaks marinating in the fridge! They'd washed dishes and the dog! I opened my cards that were very sweet and funny. I got a cool bird feeder, two packages of Ghirardelli chocolates and a Starbuck's gift card. Do my guys know me or what? They're very thoughtful gift givers. (And so is my brother, by the way. I'm always so impressed by his gift giving...her really thinks about what the person wants, or would like. He's a good gift giver.)
 
I relaxed the rest of the afternoon and into the evening while Chris and the boys prepared dinner for me. It was delicious! Steak and salad and corn on the cob and french bread. SO GOOD. Then...they even cleaned the kitchen afterward!
 
It was a great day. One of the best Mother's Day's ever I'd say....
 
But...today is Monday. And Mother's Day is over. Today it's back to the real world and I have to take care of some stuff around here. It seems to have gotten out of hand again...piles, as always...piles, piles everywhere. And laundry. Laundry, laundry everywhere!
 
I'd like to plant some lettuce seeds. And get the succulent clippings in some soil. Maybe I'll find some time to make granola. I haven't done that in a while.
 
How was your Mother's Day? (I hope you were spoiled rotten!)

Happy Mother's Day



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A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
~Washington Irving