I feel like I just keep talking about the same things over and over...

Work, the weather, food. Work, the weather, food. It seems that's all I talk about lately.

But I guess that's life, huh? Whatever season we're in is what we're going to talk about. (Even if it is boring and repetitive...)

When I started to blog in June of 2008 it was with the intention of sharing frugal meal ideas. That first blog was titled The Frugal Feast. And that's the season I was in...our finances were tight and I needed to get creative in feeding my family good food on a budget. And I did...I learned so much during that time, things I still employ even though finances are a bit more stable these days.

However, blogging only about frugality got old fast. I didn't like feeling like that was the only thing I had to talk about. I wanted to share more than just food and frugal ideas but felt confined by my blog title. So I stopped writing.

One day, months later, I was at a friend's house picking figs...we were talking about family and life and God. It was a good afternoon. We were under the canopy of her three, huge fig trees and I felt a nudge from God to begin blogging again. I liked the idea of writing again...but what would the blog be called?

I wanted it to be called something with biblical meaning but not religious. As I visited with my friend, picking figs, avoiding the ones the deer had nibbled, I began praying about a title and the words Give a Girl a Fig came to mind. Kind of like if you give a mouse a cookie, what are all the things it will do? It was sort of the same idea...that whatever was given to me, either by a sweet friend or by God, how would I make good use of it? How would I share it? How would I be a good steward of that which is provided to me? How would it grow and spread to others?

I came home that day with boxes of beautiful figs...hot, sweaty and with dried fig leaves in my hair...and a full heart knowing that God was prompting me to start another blog, but this time with Him in the center of it. Not only was I to share about my life, but also about God.

So, shortly thereafter I created Give a Girl a Fig. And I've done my best to share about life...the good times and the bad. I've done my best to share about God...His goodness, His provision, His grace and mercy...that He's real and that He loves us.

Over the past six years the point of view here has gone from stay at home mom trying to stretch her pennies by making things from scratch and growing her own to... full time working mom who is going to take advantage of modern food conveniences all in the name of at least just getting something edible on the table.

But one thing that hasn't changed here is my love for God. And His love for me. And my reliance and dependence on Him. And His faithfulness and care toward me. That has remained the same. And for that I am eternally grateful...that I love a good God who is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Situations change and evolve, we change and evolve...and through it all, God is there, steady...guiding, loving, providing, teaching.

Maybe I should have said that all I talk about here is...work, the weather, food and God.

Saturday is the new Friday.

I don't know what the perfectly round shiny little dot is.

Before I began working outside the home, and when the boys were younger, Friday was my favorite day of the week. I loved that we'd all be home and could hang out, watch movies, stay up late, have sleepovers and just relax. Something about Fridays made me let out a deep exhale.

Now that I'm working full-time, however, Saturdays have become my new favorite. Don't get me wrong, I do love me a Friday...nothing like turning off the alarm...for good. Nothing like the promise of the weekend ahead. Not to mention, Fridays can be a bit more relaxed in the work place, which is nice. But still, you are at work. And if you're anything like me, you're exhausted on Friday night after a long work week and can't really stay up to enjoy it.

So, that being said...Saturday is my new favorite.

Sleeping in (if I wanted to), slow mornings sipping coffee, reading blogs, watching cooking shows. Time to breathe slow, move slow and just be.

There's no rush. I like that.

Take today for instance. It's after 1pm and I am still in my pajamas. Now, this is not the norm as I usually like to at least get up, get clean, get dressed, get ready for the day, even if I am not planning on going anywhere. But today I guess time got away from me...so here I am, still in pj's.

Even still I did some writing, I did some cooking, I did some washing...the day is not a total loss. And we have dinner plans with some new friends later this afternoon, so that is something nice to look forward to. I'm bringing dessert (even though I don't bake much)...looks like we'll be swinging by the bakery on the way to their house.

How about you? What's your favorite day of the week? Friday? Saturday? Or maybe you're a Monday person? (You never know...it could happen!)

the weekend is here...

The weekend is here...and I am grateful.

I still haven't gotten a grip on meal prep, meal planning, meal anything! I did brown three pounds of hamburger last weekend. And I did add it to burritos one night. But that was as far as I got. (It will be turned into spaghetti sauce and a tray of enchiladas today to warm up during the week.)

I also made spicy noodles, and they were OK, but not great. They looked better than they tasted, so the leftovers didn't get eaten. (Although, now that I think about it, I could have turned them into a chow mein type of thing. Dangit. I didn't even think of that.) 

On a sad and serious note, our community lost another young man last week in a car accident. My boys knew him. My husband coached him in Little League. It happened two days before he was to start his junior year of high school. Each morning when I wake up I say a prayer for his mom and dad...knowing that they will wake up each day to the realization that they're son is gone. My heart breaks for them...

Life may be challenging, and work may be busy, and the car may need a repair...but that is all nothing when compared to the loss of a child. I am blessed. I have nothing to complain about. I need to remind myself of this when I feel a complaint rising up...keep things in perspective.

I'll be sticking close to home this weekend...tidying, washing, cooking, prepping, being quiet. My hubby washed all the floors yesterday while I was at work...so cross that off of MY list of to-do's. (Thank you, honey.) 

How about you? What are your plans for the weekend?

I ditched the list.

I've written (many a time) about my love for lists. I have notepads and spiral notebooks and sticky notes galore. I love a list. I have pages and pages of them. And really, I need them...at home, at work, in the car. My memory isn't what it once was so if I want to remember it? I need to write it down.

I mentioned at the beginning of my time off for summer break that I had written a list of things I wanted to get done before I went back to school. No. Scratch that. I didn't just want to get them done. I was demanding that I got them done.

Well this darn to-do list became the bane of my existence. Because of the list (albeit well intended, and much needed) I got stuck and ended up not doing a dang thing! Time was ticking by and I wasn't making any progress. I hadn't checked off one single thing as "done". And I gotta say, it was getting me down.

Finally, I decided to ditch the list. Yep. That's right. I ditched the list.

And would you believe that as soon as I ditched it I started getting stuff done? Yep. I sure did.

Did I get everything done? Nope. But I got the big ones done. And that makes me happy.

Not to mention...I still have a week and a half left. This summer break isn't over yet!

homebody.

homebody - Noun., A person who enjoys the warmth 

and simple pleasures of being at home.

Yep. That's me. A homebody. I enjoy being at home. Especially when it's quiet. 

Sometimes it can be a challenge to make myself get out and do things. Because sometimes I'd just rather be home...being quiet...writing...puttering in the kitchen...soaking in solitude. 

I really don't think that I get lonely. I don't mind being alone. 

Some people don't like to be alone. I get that. But I'm not one of them.

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. And I like alone time. I need it, really. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. It's just the way it is, just the way I am. 

I think I'm OK with being alone at times because most of the time I'm not. I'm at work all day with coworkers and students. Then I'm home in the evenings and on weekends with my family...(although that is getting to be less and less as the boys grow and mature and spread their wings. But honestly, I'm OK with that, too. It's what they're supposed to do.) 

I also make time to be with friends...going to lunch or meeting for coffee or running errands together. My days and hours are full much of the time. 

So when I have a chance for quiet and solitude...I soak it up. 

And I am grateful for it. 

the post in which I figure out why I have no motivation...

I wrote this last week and then chickened out about posting it. I mentioned it in passing in a recent post and said to myself, "If anyone mentions it, I will post it." Well, someone did...so here it is. 

My motivation is at ZERO. I made all these lists and I have yet to do anything on them. I'm doing the day to day stuff, of course. But other than that? Not much.

Is it because of the heat? Or because it's "that time of the month"? Am I a little depressed?

I'm thinking all of the above.

It took me a few days (and the act of writing this post...always interesting to see what comes out when I sit down to write) to realize that a little bit of depression has taken hold. Sometimes it sneaks up on me like that. In the past I would feel it coming and I would just brace myself and hope for the best. But as I've gotten better at recognizing it's impending arrival (and battling it off like a champ, I might add) it seems it has gotten a little sneakier.

So every now and then I realize that something just isn't right...and that's when it's time to recognize that depression has set in without warning. And rather than giving in to it I recognize it, and begin the process of getting through it.

After I recognize it, I tell someone about it, usually my husband. I have found that the simple act of saying, "I'm feeling a little depressed lately." instantly makes the depression lose its power over me. It's no longer a secret, and in my experience, that's where the depression held its power over me...in the secrecy, the shame and embarrassment. So now I call it out.

The next step is to take some time to think about what's causing it. Where did it come from? Did something specific happen? Is there something going on that I'm not dealing with?

It's also important during this time to be gentle with myself...move slow, get enough rest (but not too much, gotta get out of that bed!), stay calm. And put the to-do lists aside for now. I mean, stay productive, you don't want to sloth around. That definitely doesn't help the situation. But I don't put extra expectations on myself. Right now the main goal is to clear my head and to keep myself from slipping into the pit.

Have you heard of "the pit"? I spent way too much time in the pit, I'm sad to say. But then I read a book that changed how I handle depression... Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore. Pretty sure I've recommended it before. But it's so good I will recommend it again. If you deal with depression I highly recommend it. It was without a doubt one of the most effective tools in helping me understand depression and helping me learn how to fight it effectively.

It doesn't mean that it doesn't still show up now and then...it does. But now I'm better equipped to fight it.
The good thing in all of this? Depression doesn't stay around as long as it once did. And I thank God for that...

(Did you notice I say "deal with" and not "suffer from" depression? VERY important...I deal with depression head on. I don't suffer from it...that would imply that I am a victim and I'm not. And neither are you.)

* * * * *

And...as with all posts I write about depression or anxiety I feel the need to include a disclaimer:

Sharing this stuff is scary. And makes me feel extremely vulnerable...especially when I share while IN it. But I believe that God has a plan...and that there is a reason for everything...including His allowing me to deal with depression and anxiety. And for me the reason is always to draw me closer to Him, it's "the thorn in my side", if you will. And also to share with others that it is possible to get through it without medication but rather with prayer and leaning into God. So because God has allowed this, and because He brings me through it every single time, it is my responsibility to share it with you. The battle. The struggle. The process. The deliverance. The healing. The victory. 

All that being said...there is no need to worry about me. Yes, I am battling depression today. But to be honest, I battle it every day, it seems that it is always lurking to some degree. It's just that some days are better or worse than others. That's all. And like always...I will get through it...God will make sure of it. 

apparently I'm incapable of making just one list.

"Get a grip already." -Minnie

So I sat down to write my summer manifesto. (Doesn't it sound so romantic?) But as I'm writing this romantic manifesto of the wonderful things I want to do to fill my glorious summer days, somehow it turns into a to-do list...of all the chores and things I don't really want to do but that I really need to do.

So I go with it, begrudgingly. I keep writing...except for that now I'm also categorizing my list...to do, should do, want to. And suddenly the to-do's are shadowing the want-to's...and I can feel myself getting tense.

In my mind I begin telling myself, "Now Michelle, these to-do's are ALL the things you MUST get done before you do one single fun thing this summer."  Work now. Play later.

Then I get sad. And mad. And I sulk. And I set the list aside. And now the wind is gone from my sails. And I grumble about why do I even have time off in the summer anyway if I'm just gonna work, work, work the whole time.

Then I get a grip. And I bargain with myself, "OK Michelle, how about this? Each day you MUST do one chore on your to-do list before doing ANYTHING fun AT ALL."

I chew on this proposition a while. And think to myself that it's not a bad idea...it's a good compromise...but still something just isn't sitting right with me about the whole thing. I'm frustrated. And I'm pretty sure that's not what a manifesto is supposed to be about anyway. I'm pretty sure a manifesto is a list of the things you're going to do instead of chores and the daily grind to ensure that you have a pleasant summer vacation and don't let that time go to waste not having done anything enjoyable. Am I right?

But eventually, all this crazy making comes to a halt when I stop and take a look at the list. And really weigh out how long each to-do will take vs. how long each want-to will take. And really, the to-do's aren't really going to take all that much time. Honestly, I'm spending more time thinking about it and fighting it and arguing with myself about it and making list after list after list than it would take to just do the thang! I could be done with at least one of my big to-do's by now had I not spent so much time obsessing over what activity should be on what list and in what stinkin' order.

(This is how my mind works, folks. Are you exhausted yet? Yeah...me too.)

Good gravy, please tell me I'm not the only one that makes life so hard for themselves? I'm a mess! Do you have this inner dialogue? Do you make life hard for yourself? This is ridiculous!

Only I can take something that is supposed to be nice and fun and inspiring and turn it into drudgery and frustration. It's a wonder I get anything done at all...

OK. Deep breath. Shoulders back. Head up.

Now...back to those lists...they're gonna get written if it kills me...even if it's the only thing I actually DO this summer!

I'll keep you posted...

slow morning.

*this was written yesterday...forgot to press Publish.*

A slow morning. I've been waiting for this for weeks...months...

...Bon Iver playing in the background, doors and windows open, ceiling fan whirring, one kid still sleeping and the other on the road for a big adventure with a friend and his family.

There is nothing I have to do today...my only "plan" for the day is to move slow, to breathe deep, to drink water...to write...and take pictures. I might prepare a meal. We'll see...

I'm sure I'll meander out to the garden...and visit the chickens.

Slowing down...switching gears...from running, running every day from start to finish...to this...

Quiet. Stillness.
Refreshing and decompressing.

The Rebel.

very old photo...

I think I forgot how to work my camera. My real camera. Ever since I got my iPhone two Christmases ago I haven't picked up my poor, neglected Canon but maybe three times. And each time it felt foreign to me. So I put it away. And there it's sat. 

Instead I've been documenting moments with my phone and on Instagram. I like Instagram. And taking photos with my phone. It's quick. It's easy. I don't have to plug it in and load it up and file it and edit it and resize it and label it and worry how much space it's taking up on the hard drive.

But...I miss my camera.

My cousin sent an email a week or so ago asking me to be a photographer at a fund-raising event in a few weeks. And my first thought was, "I'm better with inanimate objects."  And my second thought was,  "Do I even know how to use my camera anymore?"  It really got me thinking. (Thanks for the nudge, Megan! If I can get familiar with my camera again I will say "yes".)

I have been intrigued by photography since I was a teen. When I was in high school I was on the Yearbook committee and was envious of the photographers...big cameras hanging around their necks, hall passes to walk around school taking candids, access to the dark room, developing photos and going over proofs.

Yes, I was definitely intrigued.

Fast forward to about 12 years ago. I was at a friend's house, a young gal I'd met at church, and she was cleaning out a trailer her brother had been staying in. He had an addiction and up and disappeared one day, leaving some of his personal belongings behind. One of those belongings was a Canon 35 mm camera. She picked it up and handed it to me, "Do you want this?" (How'd she know I'd always wanted a 35 mm camera?)

"Oh no. I can't take that. It's too much." I replied.

"I'm just going to donate it if you don't. Are you sure?"

"Wow. Well, yeah. I'd love it! Are you sure?"

She was sure. And all of a sudden I had a 35 mm camera...gifted to me.

It was in great condition. It was a film camera. And it was awesome. But it was also a bit of an expensive hobby. So, I used it, but wasn't really able to learn how properly. With a film camera you never know how the photo is going to come out until you develop it. And by the time I developed the photos I had no idea what settings I'd used, and I wasn't disciplined enough to keep notes. So I dabbled, took some nice photos (purely by luck), and had fun with it now and then.

Right around the time I was gifted my film camera, the digital cameras were becoming popular. But they were pricey. But a year or two later, to my surprise, my husband told me he wanted to get me a digital camera for my birthday. He really encouraged my love of photography...as gifts at Christmas and my birthday he'd purchased some nice lenses and a good camera bag. So when we began shopping for a digital we decided to purchase one that would fit the lenses he'd already purchased for me. That's how I ended up with my Canon Rebel.

It turned out to be one of the best gifts ever. I love my Rebel...even though I've neglected it for too long. How great is a digital camera? I can take hundreds of photos, check and double check, delete what I don't like and keep what I do. No waiting on film to be developed. No running out of film. It's so great!

I really had no idea what I was doing with my camera for a long time. (Not that I really do now, but I definitely understand more than I did.) I fumbled with switches and moved dials around, but never really got any of it.

I think when I really got serious about taking photos, when the switch flipped if you will, was when I decided to take some photos of a bunch of Calla Lily's a friend had given me from her garden. I placed them in a vase, set them on the floor by the back door window (which still, to this day, provides my favorite light for photography) and snapped away. By the end of the photo session the flower that at one time made me think of funerals and death became one of my favorite flowers. Calla Lily's are very photogenic, it turns out.

That was about 5 or 6 years ago. And now, here I am, unsure of how to work my beloved Rebel. It's not the fanciest. It's not the biggest and baddest. But it's perfect for me. It's enough for me. It's plenty for me. And today I am vowing to get it out and use it. (I've already got it out of it's bag in the middle of writing this post...it's sitting here next to me...looking slightly forlorn, but hopeful. Or maybe that's me?)

Do you know that my photos were very instrumental in the making of this blog? Photos are such an important part of Give a Girl a Fig that if I don't have a photo to share, I don't write a post. So you know when things are quiet around here I haven't been taking photos either. The creativity of writing seems to go hand in hand with taking pictures. (Hmm...that's something to ponder...)

So...what now?

Well. I already got my camera out. It's sitting here at the ready. Now I need to take some time to reacquaint myself with it. Maybe it'll be like riding a bike...I hope.

Honestly, the thought of using my camera again is a bit daunting. I feel like I need to take some time (what is that?) to clean up my photo files. And probably get them off this computer and onto my external hard-drive (another gift from my hubby to encourage my picture-taking...he's always been a great encourager to me, in creativity and in life in general). I need to figure out a good way to file and store photos, as well as have them accessible to share easily on the blog.

Daunting...yes. But it's all doable. I just need to take one step at a time.

Magnolia Blossom...

source

I met a 92 year old woman the other day. Her name is Margaret. "I go by Margaret, or Maggie, or Magnolia Blossom." (One of my best friends does elder care and Margaret is her newest "friend".)

I chose to call her Magnolia Blossom.

She's all of maybe 5'2", maybe, and with a personality a mile high. She had a smile in her eyes and determination in her step.

She had interesting stories to tell, of growing up with 13 siblings, of marrying a pilot at the age of 18, of moving to Japan and travelling "two weeks by ship just to be with him", even being hit on by Bob Hope while on board. She has a very cool photo to prove it. Apparently she was wearing a sheer blouse that you could see through to her slip and he turned to her and said in a "cheeky" voice, "How the hell are ya?" Can you imagine?

She talked about how she raised two boys but always wondered why God never gave her a girl.

She talked of living a wonderful life with her husband, the pilot...until "he got sick and up and left me...I went crazy for a while after that...I just couldn't believe he was gone." This is the only time the smile in her eyes faded.

We visited in her living room, frames full of family portraits, walls full of painting after painting, most her own originals...a pagoda, red geraniums, bowls of fruit, a wind mill, a Peruvian king (this was her favorite...my friend loved the bowl of fruit...and I was partial to the geraniums). She was incredibly talented.

When asked to play us a tune on her piano she replied, "Oh I haven't played in a hundred years...but let's see what we can do."

And she played...and then she sang...and it was wonderful...and I wondered why I wasn't filming her, documenting this beautiful human beings zest for life. I wondered if her grandchildren know how amazing she is. I wondered if they realize what a treasure she is. I wondered if they had footage of her singing and playing a song on the piano from a memory that was slowly fading. (And I wondered why I didn't film my own grandparent's when I had the chance. Note to self: seize the moment. Magnolia would have.)

Then my friend and I played a sorry rendition of Heart and Soul and Magnolia danced and clapped, smiling as though she thought we might actually have known what we were doing.

Margaret continued to tell her incredible stories...and told them again, and again...over and over and over. And each time she told the story about living in Japan in a "27 room mansion with 7 servants...can you imagine?" she told it just as she told all of the other stories...verbatim and with just as much gusto and amazement as the time before.

The thing about Magnolia is that she loved her life. All of it. Or at least all that she was able to remember. She loved her husband. She was happy. And her joy was contagious.

She made me smile. She made me happy. She made me miss my grandparents.

Thank you for the nice visit, Magnolia. I hope to see you soon.

"You called me Magnolia. I haven't been called Magnolia in a long time. My husband called me Magnolia Blossom. He was a pilot. We lived in Japan for three tours. It was wonderful. We lived in a 27 room mansion with 7 servants. Can you imagine? I'll be 92 in March. I don't even need glasses...or a cane. My neighbor, she needs a cane! But I'm doing great! And I'll be 92 in March, can you imagine?"

Yes, Magnolia Blossom, I can. And I can only hope to be as happy and content with my life as you when I am almost 92.

now...

An afternoon by the bay with my youngest...we needed to
 get out of town for a while...this was the perfect destination.

Now

is

the

new

later.

I saw this quote the other day on (wait for it) Pinterest.

It got me thinking...

about now, about later, about getting things done, 

about not procrastinating, about doing instead of saying, 

or just thinking about, or (dare I say) Pinning.

It got me thinking...about being productive.

And I have been. I've taken care of things that needed taking care of...

paperwork, phone calls, tidying up this space or that.

I have made lists, I set goals, I got things done. 

There is more to do, of course...there always will be. This is life, after all.

But I have to say, I feel good about the little bits that I am accomplishing.

I'm chipping away at things that have been keeping me awake at night.

I'm checking things off my beloved lists and feeling 

a little lighter with each task accomplished. 

Bit by bit...I'm getting there.
Working on doing things now, rather than later.

good stuff I've come across (thanks to Pinterest).

I need this. For real.

It's no secret, I love Pinterest. I have an embarrassing amount of Pins on an embarrassing amount of Boards. And yet...I keep Pinning. I'm not (too) ashamed. As a matter of fact, one of my goals this year (in my effort to be productive) is to actually do some of the things that I Pin. Here are a few of my recent favorites...

• Have you read this wonderful blog on mothering? Well get some tissue if you decide to...it's a tear-jerker. (This wasn't found on Pinterest, but I did Pin it to Pinterest...so...)
• Want to save money on that weekly menu? I came across this gal and she's got some great tips...straight forward, simple, doable, common sense.
• I will.make.this...I WILL. I can almost smell it....
• This needs to be on the weekly menu...and soon. Mm mm mmmm...I do love me some mushrooms.
• I'm hoping to attract more beneficial insects to the garden this summer...maybe Ian will help me put this together.

menu planning (I finally figured it out)

When I first began my quest to simplify things around here a little (5 years ago, or so?) one of the things I learned about (along with chicken keeping and gardening and "making your own" and preserving food) was menu planning. It saves time, it saves money and it prevents food waste.

Do you know how much food I've wasted over the years? It makes me sad (and embarrassed) to think about it. I would throw entire packs of meat away...thaw it for dinner, change my mind or get lazy, pop it in the fridge, let it sit for too many days, now it's gone bad, have to throw it away.

I would make too much food at dinner time, store it as leftovers, then they'd never get eaten. Or I'd buy something that was inexpensive to save money, but then never cook it, throw it away, and now that money that I "saved" is now wasted.

I mean, I may as well have just tossed cash into the trash, right?

Enter the idea of meal planning...planning ahead a week's worth of meals (or two weeks, or some even do a month's worth! And some even cook them all in one day!) and shopping accordingly. Buy what you need, cook what you'll eat. Not to mention, meal planning really takes away the stress of "what's for dinner?". I know the kids liked seeing the menu tacked up on the fridge...they either looked forward to what was coming up...or made plans to be at a friend's house if dinner didn't sound too appealing that night! *wink*

When you think about it, you can't go wrong with a planned menu. Right? Well, leave it to me to complicate things...

For whatever reason, I can't plan a menu to save my life lately. I did it for a while. And it was good. Planned it. Posted it to the fridge. And then actually cooked what each day told me to. But lately it's been such a challenge! I don't know what it is! Too many choices? Too many Pins on the ol' cooking board? Can't decide between Crock Pot or 15 Minute prep? Not sure what time practice is over or starting or whose gonna be where? Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. Those all play a part in my inability to just make up my mind and make up a dang menu plan.

Not to mention, I'm cooking for three now that Seth is off at college (and doing great and LOVING it, by the way) which doesn't make a difference in what I cook, of course. (Well, it does a little. He wasn't a fan of breakfast dinners.) But more a difference in how much and how often. When Seth was home I could pretty much guarantee that at least one kid would be home for dinner that night. And really, none of that should matter because once these awesome boys of mine are grown and gone for good, Chris and I are still going to need to eat yummy, healthy, home-cooked meals.

ALL THAT to say...I finally figured out how menu planning works for me. And that's the most important part, right? It's gotta work, or it isn't worth the time and effort.

So here you go...menu planning a la Michelle...

First I think about what we have going on during the coming week...bible study, sports practices, band practice, homework at a friends, any appointments or errands that might cut into my time to prep dinner, etc. Tuesday night, for instance, Chris and I both leave around 6:30 for band practice and bible study respectively so I plan to cook something early, something that can be eaten at different times or something that can be prepared quickly. Last week we had BLT's and sliced cucumbers. Quick, easy and we all love a good BLT. Who doesn't? Even vegetarians find a way to eat some sort of fake bacon. (fakon? facon?)

Then I consider what I have on hand. For instance, this next week we will have meals that contain chicken, ground beef, potatoes, broccoli and eggs because these are things I have an abundance of right now. I also have plenty of cheese (to go with those potatoes?), and plenty of rice and pasta (as a side with that chicken?). To shake things up a bit I may try to find recipes that call for fresh bleu cheese and Feta as I have a container of each of those, as well.

I also consider weather...is it hot, cold, rainy? This week it's finally going to rain again so I have Clam Chowder planned for one of  the rainy nights. You can't go wrong with a nice, warm soup on a cold, rainy night. (And we love Dave Lieberman's chowder recipe. I replace the cream with Nonfat milk just because I always have that on hand. But it's still yummy!)

Once I have all of my considerations lined up then I plan the actual dishes. With the items I have on hand for this next week I'm thinking our menu will contain something along the lines of grilled chicken, au gratin potatoes, clam chowder, quiche and homemade mac and cheese. Sides will be salad, steamed or stir-fried broccoli and french bread or rolls. If I do need anything from the store I look at the ads and buy whatever I need on sale.

What I have stopped doing is planning the exact night that I will cook each meal. Instead, I make a list of meals based on what I have then choose as I go throughout the week.  I say "this is what we will eat this week at some point", write it on a sticky note and attach it to my calendar. For whatever reason, I've found that this type of "planning" works best for me. I guess I need a little freedom to choose as I go. Too much "this is how it has to be" and I begin to rebel...even against myself! (See? I make it complicated!)

How about you? Do you plan your menus? What's your technique? I don't think there's a right or a wrong way. As long as it works for you, then it works.

This week I will...

...be off of work for the week...a school district employee perk.
...spend time in the kitchen...cooking, baking, organizing.
...paint the bathroom (with my hubby's help ;)
...take time to do something creative.
...fill a few more bags for donation.
...enjoy the rain.
...spend the holiday at mom's with my family.
...miss family that won't be there.
...sleep in.
...enjoy being around my boys.
...avoid crowds.
...move slow.
...organize some paperwork and take care of some business.
...take pictures.
...purge...there is too much stuff in this little house of ours.
...love.
...encourage.
...breathe.

not much.

It's Friday again...the week's are whizzing by...sometimes I can't even believe how fast time is going. I knew this would happen...my grandparent's warned me.

But sometimes I think that it's going even faster than it did for them...and I believe it's spiritual. Just now I did a quick search on the "quickening of time"...makes sense.

The weekend is here again...we don't have any plans. I'm OK with that.

And just a reminder..."I love you, too." Remember? We love because He first loved us.

God loves you. Isn't that awesome?

let the summer begin.

Volunteer tomatoes...we're not
even sure variety they are!

Good Monday morning. I, my friends, am not at work. Not that work is bad. I am grateful to have a job...absolutely. But I am also grateful that it is with the school district where I can enjoy the benefits of having the summer off!

The weekend was nice. Slow. For me, anyway. It was productive for Chris...he's been getting lots of things done around here.

The heat is here, but thankfully it is accompanied by a breeze. Tomorrow we'll escape the heat for a while...a friend and I are taking the kids to the beach for the day. Get this summer started right.

Chris potted some volunteer tomato plants that came up in random places in the garden. We're not even sure what variety they are. Maybe a Roma of some sort? Or maybe one of the heirlooms we planted? Now I can't remember what kind it even was...I know it was orange. (Note to self: keep a dang garden journal.) And we got one, big, beautiful orange tomato from it. (Yes. One. But it was quite tasty.) That's what I'm hoping it is (even though it was obviously NOT productive at ALL). I'd like to see how that variety (whatever it was...) would do in a better location. Last summer I planted it next to some pole beans and they used the tomato plant as a climbing support. So the poor tomato got dominated and couldn't do its thing. Time will tell, I guess. It'll be a fun surprise.

As for today...grocery store. We need beach food. And I need to make sure my camera batteries are fully charged. And I need to clean out the cargo area of the car...gotta make room for coolers and chairs and blankets and beach bags. Oh, and the camera bag.

Hmm...where did I put that sunscreen? Might be a good day to organize that dang hall closet while I'm at it...it's been a long time coming.

around here.

Me and my babies...12 years ago.

Good morning. It's windy today. Like, really windy. My other least favorite weather condition. :) Sounds like a good reason to use some bullet-points!

• It's graduation day today at our local high school. I just want to cry for all the moms that I know whose babies are headed out into the big world. And cry for myself because it will be my turn to send my baby out this time next year.
• It is officially summer vacation. In a couple of months both of my babies will be at the high school. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
• Chris is off today so he's planning on finishing up a project and starting another. He started building a small storage shed along an unsightly back wall of our house. I wasn't sure at first, but I think it's actually going to make that area look a bit better. The back of our house has always been unattractive. I don't think anyone that has ever lived here ever did anything to this backyard. It's been a long time coming to show it a little love. It's coming along...
• Seth is headed out for the day to celebrate with his friends that are graduating. I figure I won't see him much at all today.
• Ian will probably be helping Chris out today. He is a good builder. And a good designer. A couple of weeks ago he designed a fish tank stand using the computer program he learned to use in his Drafting class. Then, using that plan, he and Chris built the stand and then Ian painted it. It is now in Ian's room holding a gigantic fish tank (and a smaller one on the bottom shelf, too!) and looks great.
• As for me? I don't know really. I know that a grocery store run is in my near future...and cooking some dinner. And of course a load of wash or two. But other than that I don't have any big plans. Which is fine with me. I feel like I just need to go slow for a while...so I will.

I hope you all have a beautiful Saturday...take care of you, remember to breathe, and say a prayer of thanks. There's always something to be thankful for, ya know?

the dust is settling...



Flickr favorites...mostly brown...see who did all of this....

I'm going slow...yesterday and today.

Yesterday turned into an impromptu "clean out under the kitchen sink" day...which then led to a on my hands and knees bathroom floor scrubbing day...not to mention taking care of a good four or five loads of laundry.

Thank goodness for leftovers.

I don't have much to say today...my thoughts are still deep...but there were a few things that I wanted to share.

Some of you have inquired about the mosaics of photos like the one above...I make them at bighugelabs.com...click on Mosaic Maker..and go for it!

Chris and I signed up for Netflix a few weeks ago. I was searching around for a documentary...had clicked on Food Inc. and was going to watch it but really wasn't in the mood for something that heavy. I dug around a bit more when I came across Food Matters...an amazing and informative documentary focusing on food for health...vs. medications. It really confirmed much of what's been rumbling through my brain lately.

Have you seen Born Into Brothels? Incredible. Moving. And hard to take. This documentary should not be viewed around children...the language is over the top offensive. Really. And the subject matter, obviously, is not for everyone. I grabbed it on a whim at the library and was glad that I did...an eye-opener to say the least.

I'm reading through The Kind Diet...it's inspiring me to add more raw food to our meals. I'm quite sure I won't be making raw pizza or raw lasagna...the idea of trying to make something gooey out of uncooked random ingredients is not at all appetizing to me. However, eating raw veggies, raw fruits and good salads full of good, nutritious food is.

I'm also reading through A Householder's Guide to the Universe: A Calendar of Basics for the Home and Beyond. Entertaining. Informative. And down to earth...

Oh...and while I'm at it, sharing controversial things and all, I'll go ahead and recommend another great documentary...Collapse by Michael Ruppert. I'll let you look it up if you want to...peak oil...government...etc. Good stuff...if you're interested in those things.

I hope all is well in your little corner of the world. I hope your gardens are growing...your families are well...and your hearts are full. xo

life in the meantime.



Chris and I went to a yard sale a few weeks ago...

It's Friday...I slept in late. I don't usually like to do that...but I'm thinking I must have needed it. Rather than beat myself up about it...I'm going with it...taking it slow...puttering around the house...

The boys slept in, too...it is summer after all. It's gonna be a rude awakening when school rolls back around...for all of us.

I am still processing the fact that Papa is no longer here on this earth with us...it's so hard to believe. As much as I didn't want to, I believed it when Noni went to be with Jesus. I am figuring because Noni's passing was a family affair, it was such a process, and I had the privilege of being a part of that process. I am so grateful for that time with her...so, so grateful.

Papa's departure wasn't a process...it wasn't a family affair. It was him...and Jesus...and they decided the time...and that was that. There is peace in that, too because we all believe that is exactly how Papa wanted it.

That was a gift... The gift of peace...  God is good...all the time.

In the meantime...family gathers, plans are made, tears are shed, and in the middle of it all there is laughter and gratitude and good times and hugs and memories and love...lots and lots of love...another gift.

In the meantime...groceries need to be picked up, dinners need to be made, kids need to go to practice and parties and games and youth groups. Business needs to be run...gardens need to be watered...and all the while there are the underlying emotions...joy and sorrow, gratitude and peace.

I will always miss Papa. For my whole life. I still miss Noni immensely and it's been two years. I miss my Papa Gene and he's been in heaven for over 10 years. I miss Grandpa Fred, Chris' grandpa (but I claim him as my Grandpa, too!) . I will always miss them...always. Always and forever. They held special places on this earth...and they hold special places in my heart...that only they can fill.

Until we meet again...I'm so grateful for amazing memories of amazing human beings that I am so blessed to call family.

complaining...or how to make people run the other way when they see you coming.



"I promise...if you let me out for just a few minutes, I will NOT
sneak into the garden, plop on your deck or stare you down
through the back door until you give me a treat. I promise!!"
Sweetie...looking demure...doing her best to "will" me into
letting her roam the yard. Not a chance sister!

 So the other day I was told by two people....one a friend, the other my favorite cashier at the local discount grocer...to "stop complaining". Just like that...those words were tossed in my direction. And they were tossed at me (but felt heavy as a medicine ball in the gut) right after I'd commented about the excruciating, horrible, suffocating, draining, incessant, obnoxious, heat.

Now I can understand someone telling me not to complain about my new shoes hurting my feet. At least I have new shoes, right?

Or maybe asking me not to complain about the steak being a bit undercooked. (What can I say, I'm a medium-well girl. Blame Noni.) Um...hello? At least I have food, right? And a steak, no less!

Or perhaps someone doesn't want to hear me complain about my humble abode...I'm not living under a bridge, now am I?

But to blurt out the words "stop complaining" when I'm merely making a very factual statement about the weather? Really? Everyone complains about the weather. There are summer people...and winter people...and the fair weather friends who prefer spring or autumn. And when it's not to their liking they complain.

People complain about too much rain...too much snow...too much wind. Why can't I complain about too much heat?

I was boggled. And I will admit...taken aback a bit. And maybe, possibly even a teensy bit offended and self-righteous.

Each time the statement was tossed my way I'm absolutely positive one of my eyebrows raised...and my chin tucked in a bit. I'm pretty sure my eyes bulged and then narrowed into questioning slits. And my lips pinched up, too...just a little.

I'm also quite sure my head cocked to one side and my chest puffed up a bit.

I even got defensive. And pointed out the pointers own complaints. (Of which, I was wrong about, apparently.)

But then...as I stood at the checkout counter baffled by the scolding of my favorite cashier, doing my best to conjure up a reasonable argument as to why it's totally fine and acceptable and within my constitutional rights for me to complain about the heat...about the weather in general, about the traffic, my dirty floors, the person in front of me, the news, the shirt I was wearing, my chippy toenail polish, the price of gas, the service at Starbucks, the audacity of my neighbor to park in MY spot, the fact that neither of my boys can ever "remember" to make their beds, the government, the church, the beggars on every corner, chronic pain, the whatever I want to complain about thankyouverymuch...

...I was convicted.
And a bit embarrassed.

As I loaded my bags and bags of groceries (that I had plenty of money to pay for) and headed home (in my luxury, gas-guzzling SUV with the a/c blasting) I got to thinking...

I don't know about you, but sometimes God uses people to get something across to me. And as I was driving home it began to set in to my thick, stubborn, prideful, opinionated, complaining skull that this is exactly what was happening.

God had something to say to me: "Stop complaining."

It took me a good 24 hours to really process what had happened.
It took me a good 24 hours to really get that it was God pointing out a personality trait that is not helpful to me or anyone within earshot of my incessant whining and complaining.
It took me a good 24 hours to realize that...God is right. I really do need to stop complaining.

So...because God said so, and if nothing else I do my best to be obedient to Him, I'm going to work on not complaining. I don't know that I'll stop complaining totally and completely. (Isn't that humanly impossible? No? Dangit...I guess it IS just me.) But I am going to work on it. Diligently. Pray for me, would ya?

This is gonna be a process...an interesting, challenging and I'm sure, at times, a very humorous process.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

Philippians 2:14-16