I ditched the list.

I've written (many a time) about my love for lists. I have notepads and spiral notebooks and sticky notes galore. I love a list. I have pages and pages of them. And really, I need them...at home, at work, in the car. My memory isn't what it once was so if I want to remember it? I need to write it down.

I mentioned at the beginning of my time off for summer break that I had written a list of things I wanted to get done before I went back to school. No. Scratch that. I didn't just want to get them done. I was demanding that I got them done.

Well this darn to-do list became the bane of my existence. Because of the list (albeit well intended, and much needed) I got stuck and ended up not doing a dang thing! Time was ticking by and I wasn't making any progress. I hadn't checked off one single thing as "done". And I gotta say, it was getting me down.

Finally, I decided to ditch the list. Yep. That's right. I ditched the list.

And would you believe that as soon as I ditched it I started getting stuff done? Yep. I sure did.

Did I get everything done? Nope. But I got the big ones done. And that makes me happy.

Not to mention...I still have a week and a half left. This summer break isn't over yet!

summer reading list.

I mentioned wanting to do some reading this summer. And I mentioned thinking I needed to run out and buy something interesting to read. But I also mentioned that I had plenty of unread reading material in my possession so buying something new was not only not necessary, but silly.

I decided to shop my book shelves for interesting reads for this summer...this is the stack I came up with...

bird by bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott - I have started this book  a half dozen times but haven't ever read it to the end. I'm thinking it might have something to do with what Steven Pressfield had to say when interviewed by Oprah on Super Soul Sunday. I don't make it a habit to watch Super Soul Sunday (and quite frankly, I think the name is just stupid) but when another show ended and I happened to catch the beginning of what this guy had to say my interest was piqued. He talked about creativity, and resistance, and why we have such a hard time fulfilling our creative calling. I don't necessarily agree with the delivery of his philosophy, and wasn't appreciative of his wishy-washy "spirituality". But the main idea was spot on. It got me thinking. So with all of that being said, my goal is to actually finish bird by bird...and we'll see if it sinks in this time.

The Old Farmer's Almanac - This little booklet is just always on the reading list. I ask for it in my stocking every Christmas, and it makes me happy, but I have yet to actually read it cover to cover. Who knows? I might learn something!

One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp - This book was all the rage a few years back. Everyone was reading it and going on and on about how great it was. So naturally, not wanting to jump on anyone's bandwagon, I resisted. But then...but then one day a dear friend sent it to me as a gift...and was I ever glad that she did. (I really need to get a handle on this rebellion of mine...it really works against me most times.) We began to read it together...making notes in the margins, placing sticky note after sticky note with arrows and exclamation points and "Amen's" plastered here and there...then having a discussion vie email. Unfortunately, I didn't finish reading this book either. I think it had something to do with where I was at spiritually (which wasn't the best place, if I'm honest, and I am) so I just sort of let myself drift further away from the book and eventually it landed on the bottom of the book pile. But I never stopped thinking about it...which in spiritual terms (for me, anyway) means that I really need to read it and let it soak in.

The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears by Mark Batterson - I purchased this book several weeks ago. I stopped in to the Christian book store to purchase a small gift for a coworker. And I couldn't help but check out the sale table. I had never heard of the book nor the author. But the subtitle intrigued me. And the price was right. So I bought it. I'm thinking it's gonna be helpful and enlightening.

Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson - I bought this book a LONG time ago. And I can't remember why. I don't know if I'd read about it or heard about it or what. But a major book seller was going out of business here in town and I found it sitting all alone on a shelf marked way down. So I bought it. And now, I need to read it.

The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison - This is another one of those books that was so popular a while back. I stumbled across an excerpt from it one day and just knew that I had to read the whole book. I found it on sale during one of my periodic trips to the book store and snatched it up. I haven't even cracked the spine. Yet. It's gonna get read this summer. And as has been recommended, I will keep a lot of tissue handy.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver - Definitely one of my all-time favorite books EVER. It was life-changing. Yes, I've already read it. But it is SO worth a second (or a third or a fourth) read. And I can't wait to dig in again.

The Honey Prescription by Nathaniel Altman - this was a (very thoughtful) gift from my mom for my birthday. She knows how intrigued I am with bees and honey and that when I'm not feeling well I like to try something natural before resorting to a pill. (I'm pretty sure I got this from her...she wasn't one to just instantly give us a pill or run right to the doctor for any little ailment...thank goodness.) There's a little bit about it here....I am really looking forward to reading this one!

Becoming Myself by Stasi Eldredge - This was another sale table find at the Christian book store. The title caught my attention as I feel like that is what I have been doing over the past several years. God didn't create us to be like everyone else. He created us to be unique, ourselves. He created us for a purpose and has a divine plan for our lives. But I think for many of us circumstances, bad choices, unhealthy relationships have turned us into a warped version of what God had in mind when He knit us together in our mothers' wombs. I'm thinking this book might be a piece of the puzzle that helps me find my way back to God's original plan for my life. I'm hoping so, anyway.

* * *

Honestly, this list is pretty ambitious of me as I am not a big reader. I don't have a book going at all times and if I do have a book going but it turns out I don't care for it, I stop reading it. I don't read for the sake of reading.

I do read blogs. And magazine articles. But it's rare for me to finish a book cover to cover. I'm more of a skimmer. Call it ADD. Call it commitment issues. Or maybe it's my visual learning style. Whatever it is, I just don't read a ton. I am also a picky reader. It has to be really interesting or contain really helpful info for me to read it from start to finish. So we'll see how I do with this list...I'll keep you posted!

apparently I'm incapable of making just one list.

"Get a grip already." -Minnie

So I sat down to write my summer manifesto. (Doesn't it sound so romantic?) But as I'm writing this romantic manifesto of the wonderful things I want to do to fill my glorious summer days, somehow it turns into a to-do list...of all the chores and things I don't really want to do but that I really need to do.

So I go with it, begrudgingly. I keep writing...except for that now I'm also categorizing my list...to do, should do, want to. And suddenly the to-do's are shadowing the want-to's...and I can feel myself getting tense.

In my mind I begin telling myself, "Now Michelle, these to-do's are ALL the things you MUST get done before you do one single fun thing this summer."  Work now. Play later.

Then I get sad. And mad. And I sulk. And I set the list aside. And now the wind is gone from my sails. And I grumble about why do I even have time off in the summer anyway if I'm just gonna work, work, work the whole time.

Then I get a grip. And I bargain with myself, "OK Michelle, how about this? Each day you MUST do one chore on your to-do list before doing ANYTHING fun AT ALL."

I chew on this proposition a while. And think to myself that it's not a bad idea...it's a good compromise...but still something just isn't sitting right with me about the whole thing. I'm frustrated. And I'm pretty sure that's not what a manifesto is supposed to be about anyway. I'm pretty sure a manifesto is a list of the things you're going to do instead of chores and the daily grind to ensure that you have a pleasant summer vacation and don't let that time go to waste not having done anything enjoyable. Am I right?

But eventually, all this crazy making comes to a halt when I stop and take a look at the list. And really weigh out how long each to-do will take vs. how long each want-to will take. And really, the to-do's aren't really going to take all that much time. Honestly, I'm spending more time thinking about it and fighting it and arguing with myself about it and making list after list after list than it would take to just do the thang! I could be done with at least one of my big to-do's by now had I not spent so much time obsessing over what activity should be on what list and in what stinkin' order.

(This is how my mind works, folks. Are you exhausted yet? Yeah...me too.)

Good gravy, please tell me I'm not the only one that makes life so hard for themselves? I'm a mess! Do you have this inner dialogue? Do you make life hard for yourself? This is ridiculous!

Only I can take something that is supposed to be nice and fun and inspiring and turn it into drudgery and frustration. It's a wonder I get anything done at all...

OK. Deep breath. Shoulders back. Head up.

Now...back to those lists...they're gonna get written if it kills me...even if it's the only thing I actually DO this summer!

I'll keep you posted...

books, lists and should vs. want

One of the things I want to add to my summer manifesto (that I keep mentioning but have yet to write) is reading...a book, or two (or three or four)...from start to finish.

I have been reading other people's reading lists and perusing the book aisle at Costco now and then to see what I might like to read. So I'm sitting here thinking about books I need to look into, and thinking about the manifesto and the summer break and how I know it's gonna fly by so fast I'm not even going to believe it and how I really should do my should-do's before my want-to's, when it occurred to me...

...I have a stack of books on my very own bookshelf (and on my nightstand and on my other book shelf) that I have yet to read. Why is it I am looking for ways to gather more reading material when I haven't even read the material I already have? Isn't this always the question? I blame Pinterest...constantly gathering ideas and inspiration but never making the time to execute any of it. (Except recipes...I execute those, thank goodness or I'd feel like a total Pinterest fail!)

So...along with the manifesto, I will be writing a list of books I already have in my possession and I will make my selections from there. Novel idea, eh? (Get it? Did you see what I did there? Man, I crack myself up.)

Another thought just occurred to me...it's looking like I am going to need to make a list of the lists I need to make. Have I mentioned how much I love lists? Maybe once or twice, I'm thinking.

How about you? What are you reading this summer? Maybe I already have it on my bookshelf and we can compare notes!

grateful.

Feeling grateful for...

• Family...so many good people that surround me and have influence in my life. I am blessed.
• Good food...this was our Easter meal at my aunt's house yesterday...salad, green beans, cheesy potatoes, ham and ambrosia with homemade marshmallows. SO.GOOD.
• Time...I'm off this week. And I am grateful. There will be a little work, a little play and a little rest. 
• Peace...knowing how to deal with anxiety and depression in a healthy way, and knowing how to stave it off and not let it have power over me is a HUGE victory. I am grateful every day that God has shown me that I don't have to live at the mercy of my fears and emotions.
• My job...I like what I do, make a decent wage and get to spend my days with good people.
• Benefits...such a relief knowing we have medical coverage. After not having it for far too long, there is a peace in knowing that we're covered.  
• My hubby...he is a good man with a good heart who has stood by me through good and bad. I love him.
• My boys...they are amazing. They make me laugh, the make me proud, they make me think, they make me grow. And they bless me every single day. 

focusing on the good.

Go here to see who did what.

I am finding that focusing on the good is helpful to me. It reminds me of the blessings in my life...it reminds me of how fortunate I am...and how good life can be when I choose to see good things.

Focusing on the good reminds me that there is beauty in the world...there are good people...and good experiences. It's a challenge some days....this world is going to hell, literally. And everywhere I turn I see despair...and pain...and ugliness. I can really dwell on that if I let myself.

But instead of dwelling...I'm focusing on the good.

• Sun tea. Yes, again. I can't help myself.
• A car load of hilarious and animated teenagers on their way to student council camp...and being in charge of the stereo, "Mom! Bump it!" (I was pretty sure that meant, "Turn it up!" So I did. :)
• Cooler temps in August...it's been beautiful.
• Corn on the cob. With butter. And pepper.
• My mom and dad. They are awesome. And I appreciate them.
• Talking to a friend on the phone. xo
• Meeting new people and learning new things in the process.
• Gray nail polish on my toes.
• Being understood.
• A teensy bit of light shining in the darkness. It's a start. 
• A drive in the country with my husband.
• New music.
• Clean sheets.
• Encouragement.

How about you? What's good in your corner of the world?

Around the homestead.

What's going on around the homestead {by proxy}...in bullet-points:

• We have what we refer to as a "tomato jungle". We planted about 10 tomato plants I think. Then we got three volunteers that are actually growing tomatoes. (I didn't think that particular plant was heirloom...but...it's got tomatoes. Maybe it's a hybrid in its second bloom? Anyone know how that works?) Two of the plants are as tall as me. Lots of tomatoes are forming...a few have turned red (or orange or green sriped!) and they taste won-der-ful. Can't wait to get a real harvest!
• The bush bean plants are full of green beans. I should be able to harvest them in a few days. The pole beans are just now beginning to flower. I didn't plant too many of either...need to make some time to sow a second planting.
• We bought two table grape plants for 50% off one day on a whim. One green, one purple.Then we let them sit in their pots for a few weeks. And...I forgot to water them. And...one looked like it bit the dust. But we planted them both anyway...and they are both growing like crazy! I am hoping we actually get grapes next season.
• I planted one zucchini plant, one acorn squash plant and one Blue Hubbard squash plant. It was an experiment. And one I probably won't do again. I should have stuck to plain ol' zucchini. The Blue Hubbard is a prolific grower...the vine is long and healthy...and a bit invasive, with not much food to show for all the space it's taking up. The acorn squash is quite compact and has tons of little squash on it. And this is fine, I just don't think it's going to be a huge hit as far as eating. We are a plain ol' zucchini kind of family. Next summer? All zucchini, all the time. Probably 3-4 plants so I can have plenty to shred and freeze.
• Peppers. We planted 6 pepper plants. One purple bell pepper which was beautiful We already harvested one...and already ate it! Two jalapenos, two Anaheim's and one other that I can't recall the name of. The weird weather stunted the peppers quite a bit...but they're making a comeback and are going strong. Lots of blossoms...quite a few little peppers...they should be fine.
• I planted one little cucumber plant. And it's doing fine, but could probably stand more sun. Our pecan tree still hasn't been trimmed so the garden is too shady. But we're trying to make it work.
• Lettuce. I planted lettuce when we first put the garden in. And the slugs and snails and earwigs enjoyed it very much. It was gone before it could take off. I recently planted another small patch of lettuce. And it sprouted in like 2 days!! So far, so good. I planted it in a shady spot and it seems to like it, especially in this heat.
• We planted some Walla Walla onions...also on a whim. I've never grown onions. I have no idea what to do...when to harvest...nothing. So we're wingin' it! So far so good...they seem happy in their little row along the side fence.
• Chris wanted to try his hand at growing cantaloupe from seed. So he tossed a few seeds in the ground and lo and behold, a few days later, sprouts! Now they're good strong vines with flowers and everything! I hope we actually get some melons. I hear they're hard to grow...but so far so good.
• We also planted one lone little blackberry plant. I bought it (on a whim...I tend to do that a lot, don't I?) at the discount grocery store for $5 then set it out on the deck and didn't water it right along with the poor grapes. It croaked. Poor little thing. But...we planted it anyway...and that little sucker sprouted leaves. Now it's fine. And I'm sure one day we'll regret planting that baby...at least it's thornless!
• We also planted some non-food plants...Japanese maples. Chris planted a bunch of seeds that my uncle gave him and he's got about 7 or 8 trees growing...they're adorable! We also had a volunteer maple from our neighbors tree growing in the raised bed. I dug it up, put it in a pot and it promptly went into shock. I thought we'd lost it. But after a day or two it perked back up and now looks healthy and happy. Not sure what we're going to do with it once it's bigger...we really don't need more shade around here. So we'll see... (Actually...it would be nice if the shade was near the house and the sun was near the fence...and not the other way around. But we're sort of stuck with this pecan tree for the time being...so...it is what it is.)

I wish we could have planted more but the shade issue needs to be settled before we plant anymore. Next year...we'll grow more for sure.

So that's what's going on around here...what's happening at your place?

the dust is settling...



Flickr favorites...mostly brown...see who did all of this....

I'm going slow...yesterday and today.

Yesterday turned into an impromptu "clean out under the kitchen sink" day...which then led to a on my hands and knees bathroom floor scrubbing day...not to mention taking care of a good four or five loads of laundry.

Thank goodness for leftovers.

I don't have much to say today...my thoughts are still deep...but there were a few things that I wanted to share.

Some of you have inquired about the mosaics of photos like the one above...I make them at bighugelabs.com...click on Mosaic Maker..and go for it!

Chris and I signed up for Netflix a few weeks ago. I was searching around for a documentary...had clicked on Food Inc. and was going to watch it but really wasn't in the mood for something that heavy. I dug around a bit more when I came across Food Matters...an amazing and informative documentary focusing on food for health...vs. medications. It really confirmed much of what's been rumbling through my brain lately.

Have you seen Born Into Brothels? Incredible. Moving. And hard to take. This documentary should not be viewed around children...the language is over the top offensive. Really. And the subject matter, obviously, is not for everyone. I grabbed it on a whim at the library and was glad that I did...an eye-opener to say the least.

I'm reading through The Kind Diet...it's inspiring me to add more raw food to our meals. I'm quite sure I won't be making raw pizza or raw lasagna...the idea of trying to make something gooey out of uncooked random ingredients is not at all appetizing to me. However, eating raw veggies, raw fruits and good salads full of good, nutritious food is.

I'm also reading through A Householder's Guide to the Universe: A Calendar of Basics for the Home and Beyond. Entertaining. Informative. And down to earth...

Oh...and while I'm at it, sharing controversial things and all, I'll go ahead and recommend another great documentary...Collapse by Michael Ruppert. I'll let you look it up if you want to...peak oil...government...etc. Good stuff...if you're interested in those things.

I hope all is well in your little corner of the world. I hope your gardens are growing...your families are well...and your hearts are full. xo

A Day of Rest...?

the girls...pining away for the days they could roam the yard, free as a...bird

It is pouring down rain today! (And you know I love it.) On the one hand, it's a good excuse to lay low, take some quiet time and relax. On the other hand...it's putting a damper on our backyard progress. Although, since Chris and the boys installed our sod last weekend, maybe that endeavor can count as TWO work Saturdays!

Although...the day isn't a total bust as far as home improvements go. So far we've:

• watched 3 landscape shows on HGTV
• looked through 4 or 5 library books to get some inspiration for a trellis and a walkway
• drew out some plans for both
• designed a small bathroom cabinet to store things like towels and tp so we can finally get rid of the "chrome" rack we bought way too long ago that is now slightly rusty...and not so slightly UGLY.

I have to work at the bookstore tonight...the closing shift. So it seems my day is almost being spent just waiting to go to work. But...I'm going to make the best of it and get some more stuff done...laundry, beds, emptying the dishwasher and maybe a trip to the library. Or Old Navy. Or both. We'll see if I actually get motivated to get out of the house on this rainy day before I actually have to.

For now I'm going to enjoy the rain and be thankful for the free water it's providing for the garden and our new beautiful sod. (I'll share more pics later this week!)

today's laundry list...

Betty wants to know if you've signed up for the GIVEAWAY yet? No?
Well, what are you waiting for?! Go here for your chance to WIN!
(This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it.)

Welp, it's Thursday. Starting tomorrow the boys are off for the next two weeks...Spring Break. (Remember when it used to be called Easter Vacation?) It'll be nice to let them sleep in.

I have been busy lately...busy making some changes here at Give a Girl a Fig. As soon as I'm done I'll give you the Grand Tour.

I've come across some new things that I wanted to share with you.

Have you heard of Mad Hungry? It's my new favorite cooking show hosted by Lucinda Scala Quinn. She's down to earth; she makes good, easy, healthy recipes; she's got sons; she wears cute tops. And just the other day she talked about home remedies...simple ones like ginger and chicken soup...the usuals. She was instantly my new favorite. I appreciate her outlook...

I've mentioned a time or two...I love to make things. Always have. Always will. Years ago I was very involved in online art groups...but stepped away from them for years. Well...a few weeks back I was invited to do an art project with my friend Lelainia. She reminded me of an art exchange site called Swap-bot. Have you heard of it? I'm enjoying it so far...you have to be selective in the swaps you choose. But so far I've had good experiences.

My friend Sarah recently started her own blog and a few weeks ago she asked me to write a guest post!  So I did...but then I forgot to link up! (Sorry Sarah!) Pay her a visit...let her know you came by.

Hmmm...what else?

Oh! I thought of one more thing...wanna win ANOTHER giveaway?! My friend Amy is giving away a book, Sourdough from A to Z. If you want a chance to win head on over and leave a comment!

I guess that's it...for now. I'm sure I'll think of something else later...it's how my mind is working today...feeling a bit scattered...and chatty!

And don't forget to sign up for the GIVEAWAY...the winner will be chosen tomorrow!!

Are you prepared? And FREE print outs!

**Quick reminder...about the GIVEAWAY! Go here for a chance to win! The Drawing is later this afternoon!**

I am loving this Preparedness Challenge! (Amy...you rule!) I am the type that needs someone, or something, to hold me accountable to following through with...something. Anything. Everything! Whatever it is!

I joined the PC (Preparedness Challenge) a couple weeks ago...and now, throughout the week, I think of ways to better prepare my family for a possible emergency. And I think of it more because I feel I have to answer to YOU. Well, that and the thought of not being able to provide for my kids in an emergency situation about pushes me over the edge.

This past week I did quite a few things to prepare for an emergency. I bought 6 more gallons of water, a dozen boxes of matches and a few more cans of prepared foods such as chili and baked beans. I was talking to my mom about this whole "preparedness" thing last week...and she brought up a good point...what if we don't have water to prepare food with?

It made me stop and think...because I have been setting things aside with the assumption that I will have some sort of water supply to prepare things such as beans and rice and dried soups. But there is a good possibility that we won't have access to water with the exception of whatever I've set aside. It was a good point...and urged me to pick up some ready-made canned goods to add to the stores.

I also gathered travel size shampoo, conditioner and lotion from our time away last weekend. I don't usually bring those things home...they just take up room in the linen closet. But this time I thought they'd be good to add to the supplies for the PC. Those and a small sewing kit I came across a week or so ago in the junk drawer.

The main thing I did, though, was to make Master Lists of everything I want to have in my 3-month Emergency Storage. I am a list maker...I need to see it on paper...write it down...check it off...or I forget. And I was getting overwhelmed with going to this site and this site and that site...gathering info, trying to remember everything I needed...wanted...could possibly need, etc.

So...I decided to make myself Master Lists. I took all of the information I felt was important from several difference sites and put it all on three lists. So now I can print them out, see what I need, check it off when I have it...done.

I also wanted to share these Master Lists with you. Keep in mind that these are the items I think we'll need, and use. The lists are also a guideline...your family may not eat what my family will. Or need what my family needs.

Would you like a Master List for yourself? Follow these links and print them out:

Emergency Food List
Emergency Non-Food Items List
First Aid Kit Supplies

I will be ordering some of these items from Emergency Essentials (follow the link in my sidebar). I like the idea of powdered milk, powdered peanut butter and potato flakes. No...not gourmet. Or local. But these are things that my family goes through a LOT of and will definitely get used up. And if we get to the point of survival, I won't be concerned with what's in the food or where it came from, as long as I am able to feed my kids.

Not to mention, the items from Emergency Essentials have a long storage life due to the way their stored. I can't do any better at this point...so this is a plus for me.

I also want to share a link to a Food Calculator put together by LDS. You just plug in your numbers and it generates a list for you. This is the list I used to create my own list...adding some things and taking away others.

This preparing business sure does make me feel better. I have yet to really get it organized...right now it's all sort of piled on and around a few shelves in the garage. "Organize pantry shelves in garage" is on my to-do list...still. (ahem) Next week...for sure...*wink*.

What have you done to prepare? Do tell..!

General housekeeping...

A couple of things...

• I'm still working on my Disaster/Emergency Kit...and want to encourage YOU to work on YOURS, too. I feel pretty strongly about this...not wanting any of my family or friends to be caught "with their pants down" so to speak!! I am putting together a Master List of supplies for myself...and will share with you when I get it finished. As I've mentioned before, my friend Amy at Homestead Revival (don't you just love that name?) is hosting a Preparedness Challenge to help get us motivated and ready...just in case. Again...we're not fretting or frantic here. Just acting on that sense of "calm urgency" I talked about yesterday...better to be safe than sorry, right? (Oh...and if you have a Nugget grocery store in your area, they have gallons of Crystal Geyser water on sale 2/$1 this week...not bad!)
• I'm getting ready to make some changes around here...so if Give a Girl a Fig looks a bit out of sorts...a bit wonky...a bit disheveled...it's because she's getting dolled up. It's time for a few changes...a little freshening up. She needs to clean up her act a bit...what can I say? She takes after me!
• My washing machine broke yesterday. This has absolutely nothing to do with Give a Girl a Fig...I just felt the need to share...because I'm bummed. And because my laundry pile is growing as I type. My husband took a look at the washer last night...tore it apart, tore the laundry area apart...only to realize, it was a job for a professional. And not a professional cabinet maker! (Darnit.) I'll be calling a repairman in a few minutes...I pray it's a simple and inexpensive fix.

OK...off to start this rainy, gray day. I pray you are all well...that you are committed to putting together preparedness kits...and that your washing machines are working!

Proverbs 21:5

The plans of the diligent lead to profit
   as surely as haste leads to poverty.

Something is better than nothing...

Or...don't let imperfection stop you from at least giving something a try.

We are two weeks into the new year...can you believe it? Time flies...even in 2011. And...so far so good.

As you may remember I decided to write down a list of goals for myself...if it was floating around in my head, it got written down on The List. I wrote down everything from write to live on acreage and dig a cold cellar. I wrote simple little things like grow herbs and I wrote down things that will be a bit more of a challenge and stretch like grow all of the food we'll need for a whole year. As I shared last week...I wrote goals for my creativity...and I moved on that goal and actually made something. And it felt good. I felt accomplished.

Another thing I wrote on The List was get in shape. Pretty broad...I know. Then right below that goal I wrote do yoga/stretch. OK...there we go...narrowing it down a bit. What I really was looking for was some good stretching exercises. I have fibromyalgia and it tends to make me really tight and sore...especially in my neck and back. But lately I noticed it creeping into my hips. That's where I had to draw the line. OLD people have hip problems...okay? Not me.

Well...I knew that actually attending a yoga class wasn't in the cards right now...our finances are slowly getting back on track...but yoga still isn't in the budget. And honestly, I'm not one to GO to a class...or to a gym. I'm more apt to do something if I can do it in the privacy of my own home...with no observers. Ahem.

So...you know the routine...if you're like me, you're just going through your day, washing clothes, paying bills, running errands, making phone calls...and all the while your mind is going, thinking on things, figuring things out...and sometimes it can get a little overwhelming. (Hence...The List...had to get it OUT of the head and ONTO paper.) However...at some point I got the idea to see if I would be able to Demand, through our cable company, a yoga show.

Hmm...that could work. So the next morning...I got up off my butt and gave it a try.

And...after selecting a few yoga shows...some too new agey...some too soothing...some just TOO...I found one that I liked. The description said, "yoga based". And I liked that. I don't want to hear about chakras and whatnot. I just want to stretch. Yoga-based sounded good...so I pressed Select and got into Mountain pose. (I just cracked myself up...)

I'd made a good choice. The class was only 20 minutes long and the instructor gave lots of modifications for those of us new to actually moving, stretching and bending. There were a few things that I absolutely could not do...but rather than quit, which is what I would have done not too long ago, instead I sat and maybe just did the arm movements...or a stretch that I'd done earlier...something to just keep moving. Before I knew it the 20 minutes was up...and I felt great. It wasn't much...but it was something. And something is better than nothing. I wasn't able to do it perfectly...but I was able to do something. So that's what I did. And it felt good.

That was a little over a week ago...and so far I've done yoga 6 times. I tuned into the same yoga based class I started with...but come to find out, it's the same exact show every time. And I knew that was going to bore me. So...I searched around a bit more and found two more classes that I liked. One was about 40 minutes long..and a bit more intense. But again, I just did what I could. And even after just a week, I'm already noticing that I can do a teensy bit more each time. Already...some progress. I like that... 

This morning I followed along to a yoga DVD I borrowed from the library. Again, no cost and in the privacy of my own home. Perfect. It was a little bit...groovy, shall we say? But...the exercises were good and highly modified as they were yoga moves for people with chronic pain issues. It was actually really good for me...and since I did a more intense workout yesterday, and was definitely feeling it today, it was perfect timing for something a little more gentle.

Interestingly...there's been a chain reaction. I'm more aware of my breathing throughout the day. I've been taking good deep breaths, and being aware of when I needed to. I'm more aware of my posture. While I'm walking...while I'm standing...while I'm sitting at the computer. And I'm more aware of what I'm putting into my body. Maybe aware is not the best word. Maybe I just care more about what I'm putting into my body. (I've always been aware...whether it was good or bad...I knew!) For instance...I'm sipping miso right now. (And I like it!) For breakfast I had a piece of whole wheat toast with organic peanut butter and honey, a bowl of yogurt sprinkled with homemade granola and a half of an avocado. This is not to say that I'm not gonna eat some peanut M&M's...or indulge in a few slices of pizza. But...it is a start. Good changes are taking place. And...something is better than nothing. 

so far...



local free-range chicken farm located near my home.

 Day 4 of 2011...already? We wait and wait and wait for something...we anticipate and plan and dream...and then *like that* it's here and gone and...life goes on.

So far this year I have..

• taken down the tree and all the trimmings. I usually cannot WAIT to get our Christmas tree out of here. My house is small. A tree is large. And it tends to make the house feel claustrophobic. So come December 26...it's usually outta here. But not this year. This year our tree was small. The lights were pretty. And I really didn't even want to take it down today. But I did. It was time. I'll miss it though...and that's a first.
• signed up for a free online herbal class...SO excited about it and loving it so far.
• enjoyed a conversation with the owner of the used book store today. She encouraged me to be a part of our local Slow Food chapter. I sent an email to the gal in charge, who, by the way,  I used to babysit for! I haven't heard back as of yet...but I think as long as you pay an annual fee, you're in.
• Took two bags of goods to the thrift store yesterday...and promptly pulled around to the front of the building, parked my car, and went inside. Yes. To shop. And yes. I found a few things. (Slowly making the switch to glass storage rather than plastic...I found a huge storage jar, some little jars for my new herbal remedies and two boxes of quart size canning jars. Not to mention a cute basket with leather handles. I got outta there for under $15.)

Hmm...why did all of that feel like so much more? I think maybe the herbal class alone makes me feel accomplished since it's on The List and it's something I've been wanting to DO for a long time...but was intimidated by so have only been reading about. Signing up for it was definitely a step in the right direction. And that forward movement feels big...and good.

Oh...another thing I was excited about was working up the nerve to try Miso. I've been curious about it for some time now. I'm not sure why Miso was so intimidating to me...but it was. But, in perfect timing with my whole DO theme, the herb class instructor mentioned Miso in one of his lessons. I took that as my cue to finally give it a try. So today I went to the store...and I searched high and low until I found the Miso. But...I never did find the Miso. So I had to ask someone...and he took me right to it. There it was...right on a shelf I had stood looking at for at least 5 minutes. I was looking for a jar. It came in a resealable bag. But just think...next time I need Miso, I will know RIGHT where to go to get it. Nice.

Finally, I bought the Miso, and an organic chicken, and some chamomile tea (for my class) and a ginger beer. Then I came home and promptly made some Miso soup for my lunch. I think I feel healthier. :)

(Not sure what Miso is? Neither was I. Go here to read all about it!)

A word...or two.

When I returned from Belgium I had a realization that I had just done something...or several things, actually...that I never imagined I'd do. I flew across an ocean. I went to a foreign country. I spoke in a public setting. The crazy part of all of that? I am afraid to fly. Especially over an ocean thankyouverymuch. I never really had a desire to go to a foreign country...especially without my husband to keep me safe. And speaking in front of people? You may as well just put bamboo under my nails...pure torture.

Well...isn't it amazing what we can do when, #1 God is in control and, #2 we are willing to follow His lead. I give God the utmost credit in helping me to build up the courage to go through with it all. But I also give myself a teensy bit of credit for being obedient to Him. I could have said no. I could have pretended I didn't hear Him whisper. I could have just allowed my fears to rule and not done any of it. But I didn't. I listened. I obeyed. And I trusted. I would say in this case, God and I made a good team. Trusting Him is never a let-down. Ever.

When I returned from Belgium and got unpacked and got settled back into my routines here at home, I realized that I had just done something that, for me, required something I never had...bravery. I am not, nor have I ever been, a brave person. On the contrary, I've always been somewhat of a scaredy cat. But suddenly I realized that had changed. And right then and there I thought to myself, "I think the theme for this year is BRAVE."

I didn't really think anymore about it. I've pretty much just been living life...taking care of my family...waiting patiently to see what's next on the horizon. It's been quiet...and slow...and calm. And I have to say, I've been liking it.

But then the New Year was just around the corner...and I had the thought to write down my goals, for the new year as well as for life in general. If it was an idea in my head...a desire...something I'd like to try or make or bake or accomplish...it was written down on The List. And in the process of writing this List I had a another realization...and it was just one word...and that word was DO. It's not pretty. It's not poetic. It won't look cute written on my body somewhere in Sharpie. But it will help me to get some things accomplished in my life.

So for 2011 I am going to be BRAVE and I am going to DO things rather than reading about others doing them.

In 2011 I am going to DO BRAVE. And I'm pretty excited about it!

Wednesday in the Word

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

11 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Some of you may notice that this scripture has been in my sidebar for...ever. This scripture was given to me at a women's retreat about 3 years ago and has become one of my "life verses". It's the scripture that got me started in gardening more seriously and learning about food preservation. It's the verse that gave me the courage to get some chickens for the backyard and enlightened me to the idea of living a simpler life...one that is less dependent and a bit more self-sustaining.

With the New Year around the corner and my list of goals, both short and long term, swimming around in my head, this scripture came to mind. I was reminded to "lead a quiet life"...I was reminded "to mind your own business and to work with your hands". The words are a reminder to make my goals with God's will in mind...His will for my life and the life of my family.

Busy is an understatement!

At around 9:30 am yesterday morning I had a sudden revelation that this week is utterly and ridiculously chock full! I knew I had a lot to do...but it was still scattered in my head, in different little pockets.

I knew I had to take Seth and a carload of student council members to camp on Wednesday...and pick them up on Friday...in the San Francisco area. Looking forward to this, actually. A carload of 14 and 15 year olds has GOT to be entertaining.

I knew that Friday was Seth's birthday...although it hadn't really dawned on me that he was going to be 15. I thought he was turning 7. But...the fact that he wrote DRIVING SCHOOL on his birthday wish list snapped me out of that fantasy REAL quick. Driving school? Whatever.

Anyway...

I knew I was going to have my nephew on Wednesday night for a sleepover...and all day Thursday for a play day.

I knew I had a Belgium meeting on Wednesday night. And that Ian had baseball practice on Thursday night. And that Chris had worship practice on Friday night. I knew that Seth had a birthday party to attend on Friday night for a friend...on his birthday, no less. I knew I had to get a gift for this friend who's having a birthday...and his twin sister, too...both of whom we've known since they were all 5.

I also knew I had school work. But what I didn't know was that it was my last week..? I thought next week was the last week. So I wasn't fully aware of what this week's work load was going to entail. Until I wrote all the assignments down on paper, that is. Holy canoli! I'm in for it.

The bottom line? This week is going to be CUH-RA-ZY. But...I can do this. Especially if I stop blogging and facebooking and start homeworking! Which is what I'm going to do RIGHT NOW. I have a lesson plan to finish...!

What's your week looking like? If it's a little empty...call me. I've got a list a mile long I'd have NO problem sharing with you!

mark this day on your calendar...

...because...I have NO-THING-TO-DO-TODAY. Can you believe it!? NOTHING! Not one single thing. We were supposed to be at a baseball game but it was postponed. Which is OK because we sat through a double-header last night. And it was fun...and the weather was perfect for some baseball. Definitely a nice way to spend a Friday night. But today? Nothing.

With that being said...let me tell you what I'm going to DO today! Everything I haven't had time to do in the past however many weeks!

• Tidy up laundry area...it's embarrassingly gross.
• Wash bedding
• Clean out car and vacuum...possibly pay a kid to do the vacuum part.
• Scrub bathroom
• Dust...including blinds and fan blades.
• Vacuum
• Tidy my room...so out of control.
• Clean Rosie's "dining room"...she's a messy old kitty.
• Harvest strawberries...on Farmville...yes, I fell into the trap.
• Deal with the piles in the dining area...I just can't seem to stop piling...may as well accept it.
• Figure out something healthy and good for dinner...we've been eating poorly for too long.

**edit...I have a lot yet to do tomorrow!**

I think that's it. It's a start anyway. I'm sure my Adult ADD will lead me into several other distracting projects along the way. But for the most part, that's the "plan"...it's ambitious...but it can be done.

What really needs to be done, but will have to happen over the course of summer, is the boys' rooms. Seth's room is a hideous yellow that I picked out when I was pregnant with Ian and haven't liked from the start. He's got a huge shelf with stuffed animals, baby books, and tons of junk I"m sure he no longer needs. He's a teen for crying out loud! So we need to deal with that this summer...especially because as we speak he and Chris are at a yard sale buying him a weight bench as a reward for pulling straight A's this year. STRAIGHT A's. I'm so proud of him!!

Speaking of straight A's...Ian got STRAIGHT A's TOO!! Man...these boys are on a ROLL!! He's getting a reward, too...not sure what yet. We'll let him choose between a few things he's been wanting. We've never rewarded our boys monetarily for their grades...we've always patted them on the back, told them "good job" and maybe took them out to a nice dinner to celebrate their successes. But they're getting older...school is getting harder...and we feel it's time to reward their efforts a little more in hopes of encouraging them to continue with the hard work.

And speaking of Ian (well, we were a minute ago)...we need to work on his room this summer, too. It's small. And cluttered. It doesn't help that he's a pack-rat to the nth degree. He and I just had a conversation about his Lego's. He's decided that he's too old for Lego's...and Bionicles. (Here comes the crying jag again...) So over the summer we'll have to pack them all up and clear them out of his room to make room for more mature items. Not sure what will take the place of his beloved Lego's. Seriously. He's played with Lego's for eight years straight. He LOVES Legos. We have a small fortune in Lego pieces...not counting the ones that got eaten by the vacuum. Ian not playing with Lego's is the end of an era. But you know me...I'm saving them. Forever. For my grandkids. And just in case Ian decides he wants to bust them out sometime down the road and create something amazing. It could happen...

Well, it's already 10am and I've done nothing on my list. I have big plans for this unplanned day so I better get a move on! Have a beautiful Saturday...xo

so much to do today...and what am I doing?

Well, I'm writing a blog post, of course! Isn't that what we all do when there's too much to do and we don't know where to begin? No? It's just me? Hmm...I better work on that then.

It's Friday...it's cloudy and gray...it's chilly...and I have a lot to do. Yep...you know me so well...here come the Bullet Points!

To do:

• Finish final paper and create a Power Point to go along with it. I've never created a Power Point in my life and I will be receiving assistance from my KIDS in learning how to do one. That means that I am officially OLD.
• Payroll and bank run.
• Pick Ian up from school after his long week at 6th grade camp. So looking forward to my baby being home and in his own bed. So not looking forward to the pile of laundry!
• Drop off funds to the ministry for airline tickets to Belgium!! I still don't have quite enough...but I'm trusting God and believing Him to get me there. He's gotten me this far financially (through the generosity of others...thank you)...I believe He'll provide the rest.
• pick up a few groceries for the weekend...and cat litter.
• install Publisher and Word 2007 onto this new computer.
• order books for my next classes...already. Accelerated classes rock.
• order pizza for dinner. Love a menu plan, don't you?

read at your own risk...you've been warned.

{what's in your hutch? if you go to flickr you can read notes...because I'm sure you have nothing better to do, right? yeah...}

* * * * * * * * *

It's one of those days. I'm cluttered. Scattered. Jumbled. Finding it difficult to put one thought in front of the other. I get like this when I've got too much in my mind. Making a list sounds necessary right about now. A long list. Like on butcher paper stuck to my fridge with a magnet. And with check boxes next to each item so I can check them off as they're done. Yeah. That's what I'll do. A list.

One thing that's been bothering me is my piles. Oh. Um. OK, wait. That didn't come out right. Not that kind of piles. I mean piles of paper...you know, mail, bills, report cards...those piles. Goodness...no wonder I'm a cluttered mess! The places my mind goes sometimes!

Anyway...I think I've come to the conclusion lately that I am not going to fight my piling, listing, misplacing ways anymore. I just can't. It takes more energy to fight it than it does to just go with it and make it work for me. You know? Seriously. I am not super woman. I don't care what magazine articles or blog articles or Dr. whoever says...I can't do it all. And really? I don't want to do it all. I want to do some things. Lots of things, actually. And I want to do those things well. But the other stuff? Well...I don't know what to tell you. I guess someone else will have to take it on. Because there are just certain areas that I need to let some things go.

Like the fact that my house, old and small as it is, will never, ever, ever, be spacious and airy and spotless clean. Ever. It just won't. And I need to just know this...accept this...and move on. Enough stressing over it. Enough beating myself up about it. Enough. I need to just do the best that I can with what I have. And I need to be content with that. It is what it is. Nothing more and nothing less. Deal with it. Work with it. Be grateful for it. Move on.

Or the fact that I pile things up. I just do. I always have. So I may as well work it to my advantage somehow. I mean, really...maybe it can be a good thing. At least I'll know that whatever it is I need will be in that pile. I won't have to guess which drawer I put it in...or which cabinet...or which file box. Seriously. Because every time I try to get organized in a way that works for someone else...I LOSE THINGS. And that's not good either.

So. Yeah. Today I'm at the point where I just need to accept some things. And stop fighting some things. Mainly my self. Aren't we our own worst enemies? I am finding that I'm really hard on myself. I really need to ease up on me. I need to stop comparing myself to others. And weighing my value as a woman...or as a wife and a mother...based on what others are capable of. I am me. I have always been me. And any time I try to be like someone else, it back fires. And then I have to start all over becoming me. And I have to say...it is really, really tiresome. It's much easier to be me. And to strive to be the best me I can be.

That being said...I'm going to go make that list. Anything you need to let go of today? Do it girl...