A day with my mom...

A couple of weekends ago I went to Sonoma with my mom. We went to an art festival...ate some lunch...went to some shops...and then it began to rain!

We decided to duck into a little coffee shop. A very crowded little coffee shop. We ordered a latte, an earl grey and a slice of torte each...apricot for me, berry for mom. Somehow we lucked out and got a cozy little table by the window.

We talked and ate and took photos and watched the rain come down. It was a really good day...

distant.

Summer is here. Pretty much, anyway. The boys are out of school. The days are warming...finally, some will say. Not me. I'm dreaming of living somewhere else...somewhere cooler, somewhere higher up, somewhere...else.

The sun is shining. The birds are singing. People are wearing shorts and tank tops. But...the air is still. Already feeling a bit stifling. Not now...but I know what's coming. And I'm not ready. I never am.

I can feel that sense of dread...maybe feelings similar to those with SAD feel as winter approaches? I don't know...because in my world, when winter comes, I begin to wake up. I am refreshed. I feel alive. Like with anything else, just add water (in the form of rain) and I perk up instantly.

The heat makes me wilt...I feel distant, and not myself.

I try to look at "the bright side"...fresh, warm tomatoes...all the Vitamin D you could ask for...sleep ins...barbecues...fried zucchini cakes...and it helps some...

...but it's not enough. It's a real stretch, actually. My attempt at not being negative during summer. Is it working?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

But again...the reminder in my head....one.day.at.a.time.

Don't worry about tomorrow...one.day.at.a.time.

And then I am reminded of the words of Matthew...33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Easier said than done. But..it's worth a try.

Wednesday in the Word

“The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to tread on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:19

and all of a sudden...just like that...

...another school year has slipped by. And my boys are another year older. And both about a foot taller! Seth looks over my head and Ian is now looking me eye to eye.

Today is the last day of school. And as always...it's bittersweet. Bitter...because I miss my little boys. I miss Lego's and forts and color books and Arthur and running through the sprinklers. I miss bath time and washing their hair and wrapping them up in big fluffy towels. I miss feety pajamas and bunk beds and bedtime stories. I miss my little boys.

But then there's the sweet...watching them turn into young men. Watching them learn about the world...and learn to make choices and decisions. Talking about driving permits (I know!!) and parties and friends. Watching them take off in cars with those friends...or head downtown on a scooter with a buddy....and tossing out a quick prayer, knowing God's got them in the palm of His hand.

Parenting is hard. No doubt about it. But it's also so incredibly good, and sweet...such a blessing...to be entrusted with the lives of two men...which is what I try to see them as. Because that is what I want to raise them to be. Men. Not boys. I don't always hit the target...sometimes I can't help but see "my baby". 

We all do it...my mom does it (still...love you mom!)...her mom did it...it's a mom thing. We can't help it. It's like as soon as we find out we're pregnant...things change. And suddenly we begin to think like a mom. It's no longer all about me. It's about someone else. We become protective...and begin to see the world for the crazy, dangerous place that it is.

These sweet little lives grow right next to our hearts...and become our hearts. When they are born...and leave our bodies...they take a piece of our hearts with them. It's in them...like they were in us. And just like that...we are connected...always. (No matter how far they may go....)

Sunday morning...

Be thankful that God's answers are wiser than your answers. ~William Culbertson

A Day of Rest...?

the girls...pining away for the days they could roam the yard, free as a...bird

It is pouring down rain today! (And you know I love it.) On the one hand, it's a good excuse to lay low, take some quiet time and relax. On the other hand...it's putting a damper on our backyard progress. Although, since Chris and the boys installed our sod last weekend, maybe that endeavor can count as TWO work Saturdays!

Although...the day isn't a total bust as far as home improvements go. So far we've:

• watched 3 landscape shows on HGTV
• looked through 4 or 5 library books to get some inspiration for a trellis and a walkway
• drew out some plans for both
• designed a small bathroom cabinet to store things like towels and tp so we can finally get rid of the "chrome" rack we bought way too long ago that is now slightly rusty...and not so slightly UGLY.

I have to work at the bookstore tonight...the closing shift. So it seems my day is almost being spent just waiting to go to work. But...I'm going to make the best of it and get some more stuff done...laundry, beds, emptying the dishwasher and maybe a trip to the library. Or Old Navy. Or both. We'll see if I actually get motivated to get out of the house on this rainy day before I actually have to.

For now I'm going to enjoy the rain and be thankful for the free water it's providing for the garden and our new beautiful sod. (I'll share more pics later this week!)

Wednesday in the Word

Consider the ravens:

They do not sow or reap,

they have no storeroom or barn;

yet God feeds them.

And how much more valuable

you are than birds!

Who of you by worrying

can add a

single hour to his life?

Luke 12:24-25