Happy Easter. xo

Happy

Easter

Jesus is alive. 

And He loves you.

keep your eye on the prize.

I wrote this post almost two years ago...and never hit "Publish".

Oh, and for the record...we still haven't found a new home church.

Nor have we tried very hard. 

I've got a lot of work to do...internal work, heart work, soul work. I've allowed myself to get to a place that I don't like very much. I was telling myself that I didn't mind being where I was at. But that's not true. That was an excuse. I don't like where I'm at...or how I'm thinking...or how I'm feeling. Or how I'm acting for that matter.

We haven't been to church in about 2 months. That's a long time for a family who rarely missed a Sunday for over 10 years. We are a church-going family. We go to church...we pray before meals...we tithe...we serve and do bible studies and play instruments on worship teams.

But for the last 2 months...nothing.

It's not for lack of wanting to...but circumstances. Things happened. People happened. Humanity happened. And suddenly...we found ourselves without a home church. It was a weird feeling.

We visited a church we thought we'd like to attend...but on both visits not one person said one word to us. Not a hello...not a get out of here...nothing. Weird.

We took that as a cue from God that it's not where He wanted us. And that was fine.

Instead of continuing to look for a new church home, we decided to take some time to get our house in order...specifically the backyard. And it's been good to have the time to do this. For the past 10 years every weekend has been full of church or baseball or wrestling or something other than taking care of things around here. Now our weekends are full of making our backyard habitable. It's been really good.

But eventually we need to get back into church.

The thing about church is that people are at church. And people are...people. Imperfect people. Messed up people...as Joyce Meyer literally just said on TV, "Hurting people hurt people." True dat. It's not an excuse...just a truth.

And I will say...I got hurt. Pretty bad. That's the thing I've been trapped by for the past...oh, year or so. Hurt. I like to fancy myself more Godly...above being hurt...above being trapped by self-pity...ha. Like everyone else...I'm part of that whole "people" thing. I am imperfect. And I'm sure I hurt people, too...not on purpose. Not anymore, anyway.

No excuse.

There comes a time when we know better. And when we know better...we are expected to do better.

To whom much is given...much is required.

Can I just say...through all those years of hurt and confusion I learned a very valuable lesson. One morning I was praying...and I asked God why I was being treated in such a way by this person that I trusted.

"Why are you allowing this, Lord?"

And just like God always does...He answered quietly and simply and directly...

"Now you know how NOT to treat people."

Simple. And so HUGE. God allowed it so that I would learn from it. And so that I would never treat people the way that I was treated. And I pray...earnestly...that I NEVER inflict that hurt and that confusion and that pain on anyone else. If I fail...I pray for forgiveness. I ask the person I've hurt for their forgiveness...and I mean it. No sense in giving fake apologies...or empty forgiveness. Don't bother. Do it for them...not just to make yourself feel better.

No. I mean it. I don't want to hurt others. I want to encourage others. I want to build others up. I want to be a part of their success...not their stumbling. That is my desire...Lord I pray I do what my heart desires to do. I pray I am goodness and light to others...not a stumbling block...or a cork...or a hindrance. And if I am...SHOW ME so that I can STOP.

Yes...I've got some work to do. I need to get out of this rut. I need to get my focus back...keep my eye on the prize...and that prize is living my life for God. The prize is powering through my days here on Earth...being light in the darkness...so that one day, when I'm in heaven, I will see what it was all  about...what it was all for...Jesus.

Jesus is the prize. He is the way...and the truth...and the life. Keep my eye on the prize...on Jesus...and my paths will be straight, my feet will not stumble, I will not grow weary, I will not faint...I will not be burned, I will not drown...keep my eye on The Prize.

Jesus. He is the prize.

And if I can just keep my eye on HIM, nothing else will matter. No hurt. No anger. Nothing.

If I keep my eyes on Jesus...my Prize above all prizes...all other things will fall into place.

"It is finished."

²⁸ Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture 

would be fulfilled,Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” ²⁹ A jar of wine vinegar was there, 

so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and 

lifted it to Jesus’ lips. ³⁰ When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” 

With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

John 19:28-30

j.o.y.

source unknown.

Some days are harder than others. 

Sometimes life just doesn't go the way we want it to. 

Sometimes we have to wait, compromise, 

change ourselves instead of others. 

Sometimes we have to accept the answer, "No". 

Sometimes...life is just.plain.hard. 

And even still...

even through all the rough spots...

even though all seems bleak...

we still have a choice. 

We can choose to let it get to us. 

Or...we can make a better, healthier choice. 

I will do my best to choose JOY.

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”

    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. 
When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.

Psalm 94:18-20

Wednesday in the Word.

For this is the message you heard from the beginning: 

We should love one another. 

1 John 3:11

So much talk lately of equality and rights. 

It seems we've lost sight of what's most important.

It's times like this I want to say..."Can't we all just get along?"

weekend wrap-up.

Last week was good...full, steady. Friday evening around dinner time Seth took a nap and Ian went to a friend's...so Chris and I decided to go on a dinner date! We grabbed one of our gift cards from Christmas and headed out to a steak dinner. It was delicious...he had ribs, I had steak and shrimp...we were very satisfied and very full. On the way home we stopped at Red Box and grabbed a few DVD's and called it a night.

Saturday was good...Ian and Chris got a ton of stuff done around the house...cleaning and tidying and organizing the side yard and garage. Seth was at a calculus thing in the morning and with friends in the afternoon so he missed out on the fun.

As for me? I puttered around the house...did laundry, tidied our room, simmered some "health-full broth" on the stove, watched Food Network and my most favorite of all...made sun tea. I made a store run...stopped by the library...grabbed some cherry limeades and watermelon slushes during Sonic's Happy Hour...and headed back home to make some calzones for dinner. They were a hit...although next time we all agreed they could be a bit cheesier. There was ice cream for dessert and survival shows on TV. By the time we all fell into our beds I think we were all asleep before our heads hit our pillows.

Chris and I woke early on Sunday morning...got the coffee started and had a nice quiet beginning to the day. Sunday was deemed "Seth's turn" to help around the house...he and Chris mowed and edged lawns, trimmed shrubs and trees, cleared out an overgrown area that looks so much nicer now. Ian was only assigned to tidy his room and get his homework done (since he'd busted his behind the day before)...then he headed to a friend's house.

As for me? I washed bedding and let it dry in the sunshine. And I researched homemade facial cleansers then headed to the nutrition shop here in town for some supplies....glycerine, lavender Castille soap, dried calendula, comfrey, mullein and rose hips. I am finally beginning to understand my way around the nutrition shop...that's kinda cool. For the longest time it was all very foreign to me...I'd wander around aimlessly then leave empty handed. I was going to get some essential oils but I thought they were overpriced. But then I came home and looked around online and found that their prices were actually fair. Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow and get one...or two.

The weekend hummed along at a nice pace...slow and easy and consistent. Then as it always does, it drew to a close all too soon.

It was good while it lasted...

Sunday morning: pray more...worry less.

I'm not doing such a great job remembering this lately. 

Matter of fact...I'm probably doing the opposite.

I may need to buy this print...hang it in the hallway...

...so I see it every single day to remind myself that 

God is in control and He answers prayers.