Wednesday in the Word.

Lamentations 3:19-26

 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
   the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
   and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
   and therefore I have hope:

  Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.”

  The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
   to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
   for the salvation of the LORD.

After a long time of wandering...and waiting...I can feel myself slowly making my way back. I wasn't necessarily going in the wrong direction...but in a spiritual sense I was stuck. And when I did try to move it was as if I was spinning in circles.

Eventually...I just stopped.

And then I got complacent. Which is really weird because I never thought I would ever feel that way. Being so involved in women's ministry like I was I saw women try to return to church after not being for a while. Many times they had stopped going to their previous church because of being hurt or let down by someone who, many times, were in a position of leadership. And I never understood it. Because I knew that church didn't equate God...therefore the hurt was from a person...not God. So I couldn't understand how being hurt by someone at a church would prevent someone from going to church. I just did not get it.

But then...God allowed me the opportunity to feel that same kind of hurt. And let me tell you...it really does knock the wind right out of you. It stops you in your tracks. And gives you a very bitter taste in your mouth where church and its people are concerned. Not where God is concerned. I knew God well enough to keep Him out of it. But where church was concerned? And the people in it? Yeah...bitter.

So I stopped going to church for a while (as I've mentioned). And I was fine with it.

But you know...I really wasn't. I wasn't fine with it at all. And neither was God.

Church is a really good thing. I learned a lot at my long-time church. I had some really good times and met some incredible and God-loving people, several of who I still talk to and pray with today. I grew spiritually and healed and experienced miracles at my old church. There was so much good that I experienced that I've had to remind myself of all of that. I've had to realize that it wasn't all bad. Not at all. It was good for a long time.

To be honest with you, I don't know when it started to deteriorate. I think it was a slow decline...so subtle that I didn't even know it was happening. And then when I realized what was happening I denied it...thinking to myself, "It must just be me because this kind of stuff doesn't happen in church."

Well. Yes, it does. But that's OK...because wounds heal. And lessons are learned. And God uses those lessons to help us become more compassionate.

Yes, church is a good thing. As long as it's a healthy and thriving church. I didn't say a busy church. Just because a church is doing does not mean they are being. Do you get what I'm saying?

But if you can find a church where the people are kind and loving and authentic and imperfect (yes, I said imperfect) and love the Lord with all their hearts (or are at least striving to)...go there. Worship there. Serve there. Make friends there. Go to bible studies. Smile at newcomers. Sing your heart out during worship...raise your hands to God. 

Yes. Church is a good thing. And I'm grateful to be making my way back.

It's nice to get out of town sometimes.

can you feel the love?

Last week the boys and I, along with my mom, took a two hour drive to Donner Lake to spend some time with my aunt and uncle at their cabin. It was our second time there and WE LOVE IT. The gorgeous lake is a mere walk down their front steps and across the road...the view out of their living room window is of trees and water and mountains. It's wonderful...


I wonder how long this has been here?

The weather was beautiful. Cold and sunny, perfect in my opinion. And no snow, like everywhere else, right? It was kind of a bummer...but since I'm not real experienced at driving in snow, I was OK with it.


the water was so still.

Of course I took a lot of pictures...I think it was 124. (Or 142? Something like that.) Not bad for a 24 hour period. 

lots of love along the beach...

We also did some shopping, my uncle took the boys for a hike, we worked on a puzzle (I love puzzles), and ate good meals.




we found them like that.

But most importantly...we relaxed. We slowed down. We rested. We spent time with family. I'm pretty sure it was good for all of us.

the end of the day.

today is the day.

Rocks on the beach at Donner Lake.

Well...today is the day...I start my new job. In an hour no less.

I wasn't nervous last week. But today? Just a little...

I'll be fine once I get there...it's just the getting there that's making my stomach flutter a bit.

The boys are back in school...I miss them. They'll each be gone for 10 hours between school and sports. Being back on the regular routine is making me a little sad. Vacation is always so nice...

No matter what...no matter how I feel or what's going on...the bottom line in all things...God is good. And everything in our lives is in the palm of His hand.

I'm grateful....for all of it.

Happy Monday to you...xoxo

Sunday afternoon...

Here is the world.  Beautiful and terrible things will happen.  Don't be afraid. 

~Frederick Buechner

more than meets the eye.

I bought this little piece of art almost 3 years ago on Etsy. It's 2.5 x 3.5...ink on watercolor paper and has some machine stitching. The artist is Michele Maule and I just love her work. (FYI...she has no idea who I am or that I am writing about her.)

Admittedly, when I first bought it, I was just drawn to the old typewriter. The letters and numbers really didn't mean anything to me. I loved the typewriter...I loved the blue...and the stitching...and it was also nice that it was an affordable original. So I made the purchase. Once I received it I tucked it away with a stack of other frameable pieces I'd collected for the wall of art collage I would have in my home "one day".

OK...so "one day" came last week when Aaron Bros. had their "buy a frame get one for a penny" sale. I took advantage of that, bought some nice frames, and went to work on a collage wall for our hallway. (A much needed project that I'll share pics of soon, too...)

Anyway...after I framed this little piece...titled "I want.."...I was admiring my handiwork when I noticed a few things. I noticed that the letters and the numbers were very significant and meant something huge. Ready?

The capital G...stands for God.

The number 5...symbolizes grace.

The little m...is for me, Michelle.



I love that the number 5, or grace, is between me and God...almost as if He's covering me with His grace.

As I was showing Chris my plan for the collage wall (7 or 8 framed pieces laid out on our bed) I told him about my discovery of this little art piece. He made a pleasant ,"Huh!" sound...and then said, "Aaaand...it's a typewriter.", and shot me a raised eyebrow as if to say, "Ya know...because you like to write."

Isn't that so cool? It makes me happy every time I walk past it. God's grace...where would I be without it?

"But by the grace of God I am what I am.." 1 Corinthians 15:10

so much on my mind..

My thoughts are scattered. (Yes, again.) So since I can't form a complete sentence we'll just go with bullet-points today. Sound good?

• I'm enjoying this time off. It's been really nice. And I have no idea how I'm going to get back in the swing of getting up early. This is gonna be interesting...
• My boys asked me to make meals higher in protein and lower in calories. Ian needs to make weight for wrestling and Seth is working on getting in better shape. I agreed. It won't hurt me to miss a carb, that's for sure.
• On that note...I need meal ideas: lots of veggies, lots of protein, low or no carbs. All I can think of is chicken...and that's gonna get real old real fast.
• I start my new job on Monday. Chris asked if I was nervous...I said no. I'm not. I'm ready. And capable. It'll be an interesting next chapter.
• I started one of my online classes yesterday...Eng450, Children's Literature. I'm really excited about this class...I think it's going to be a good one.
• I ordered my books late. I hope they come soon as my first assignments require reading!
• I took my mom and the boys to visit my aunt and uncle at their cabin at Donner Lake on Monday and Tuesday. We had a nice time. Getting out of town is always so refreshing.
• My community college classes begin on the 18th...I'm gearing up for them. One is Human Development and I'll be taking that one online. And then Printmaking at the college on Mondays and Wednesdays. I'm so excited for Printmaking.
• I'm resisting the temptation to take even more classes to just get this whole college thing over and done with by the end of summer. But I know it will be too much. (I'm already pushing it at times.) Had I not accepted a job and could just focus on school full-time, every day, all day...then I would. But...I did accept the job. So...I need to be realistic.
• All vacation long I have wanted to do something creative. A lino cut to be exact. I was going to make our Christmas card. Then it turned into a New Year's card. Now I don't know what it's going to be! I have a few days left to actually make something...I just need to DO IT.
• The winter garden is coming right along...I can't wait to actually eat something from it!
• The chickens haven't laid an egg in weeks. Free-loaders.
• Seth got his driver's license. Can you say bittersweet?
• I'm having a really hard time lately with this whole cycle of life thing...birth and death and growth. Ever since Papa went to heaven I've been having a hard time with...life. And the fact that my parent's will age. And that my kids will grow up...and move away. And that I will age. And that the cycle of life continues...no matter how we feel about it.
• On a positive note...2012 is full of possibility. And I'm looking forward to what lies ahead...

This scripture comes to mind...Philippians 3:12-14

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press

on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Have a great day...it's sunny and cold here...perfect.

one word.

Happy New Year! It's 2012. A few days ago I mentioned wanting to choose one word to represent this coming year. When I first thought of it there was a word that popped into my head...but I quickly dismissed it. For one thing, I thought it was kind of a boring word. It wasn't a word I'd want imprinted on a charm or tattooed on my ankle. (No...don't worry...I'm not considering a tattoo...been there, done that.)

For another thing...I was feeling a bit pessimistic about the coming year. I didn't have the excitement and hopeful attitude I did when 2011 rang in. So...as this word entered my mind I shrugged it off...and waited for another word...a better word...to come to mind.

In the meantime...the original word kept showing up. I would hear it. I would see it. I kept thinking about it. It was everywhere...and it was clear that it wasn't going away. So I gave in...and I prayed about it...and I realized that it was the perfect word for this coming year...

possible

Yep. That's it. That's the word. Possible.

"Everything is possible for one who believes.” - Mark 9:23.

“What is impossible with human beings is possible with God.” - Luke 18:27.

I can't wait to see where this leads...