Wednesday in the Word

 

Psalm 63:1

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

  

  You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

Still feeling a little dry...tis the season I suppose. God is near...I hear Him...I feel Him...I love Him...

I was feeling like life was at a stand still...I was feeling stuck.

Unsure. Confused. Distant.

I blamed summer. And heat. I blamed distractions...kids at home, dirty floors, no schedule. Then I made excuses. And more excuses. I even talked myself out of a commitment I made over a year ago...finishing college and earning my degree once and for all.

The silence and confusion was really getting to me. I kept asking, "God...what do you want me to DO?"

No answer. Quiet. The silent treatment.

So...as any stubborn child of God would do, (don't give me that look...) I took matters into my own hands. And I messed it all up.

When I went back to school in 2009 (yes. it's been that long ago. crazy isn't it?) I had a plan. A really good plan. And I know that the plan was stirred up in me by God...He knows the plans He has for me. As soon as I signed up for classes and began working toward my degree for real (I began my college career about 25 years ago...yeah.) it seemed like everything else fell into place. Everything made sense. I knew what I was working toward...and it was going smoothly. I was making real progress. And it felt really good.

Then in 2010 you may remember that I went on a trip to Belgium. And in order to prepare for the trip and also recover from the trip I took an 8-week break from my courses.

That break turned into a year. Just.like.that.

I have to admit, I was very down on myself for letting a whole year slip by. A whole year. To say "slip by" is really sugar-coating it. That year didn't "slip by"...I wasted it.

(But...God wastes NOTHING. He used that year, even though I didn't. And I see it now...and yes, I'll share in another post.)

Yes...God was quiet. He was. But not because He was giving me the silent treatment. He was quiet because He'd already told me what to do. And like any parent, I imagine He didn't feel it necessary to tell me again.

Life doesn't have to be dry...there is always water...sometimes we just need to go out and get it.