Sunday morning...

Psalm 18

He rescued me because He delighted in me.

Isn't that amazing?

I'm thankful every single day.

xo

getting ready to get the garden ready.

You've got to start somewhere!

Chris and I bought this little mini greenhouse at the end of summer last year. I'd been wanting one for quite some time so I was so excited when it went on sale!

It's been in the box all winter but the other day Ian got it all set up for me. Isn't it cute!? I love it. And I can't wait to fill it up with seedlings.

So. I have the mini-greenhouse. Now I need some containers. I don't want to spend money on seed starting trays so I'm going to get creative. I have a couple nursery flats and lots of little plastic pots that I've saved. I may even have some of those peat pots that expand in moisture...somewhere. I will also use egg shells since we have plenty of those. In the meantime I will save toilet paper and paper towel rolls, newspaper, yogurt cups and whatever else might work to hold a baby seedling or two.

I took some time yesterday to walk around the very messy garden to get an idea of the work that needs to be done before we can plant. It's amazing how the weeds take over, isn't it? Man, they came from out of nowhere!

After a quick survey this is where we're at...weeds need to be pulled stat, compost needs to be tilled in, simple planter boxes need to be built (think raised bed, only not totally raised...are you picking up what I'm laying down? I'll explain more another time...it's sort of an experiment at this point) and plants that survived the winter (parsley and thyme) need to be tidied up so room can be made to plant lettuce in that same planter.

Then I just need to settle on a layout of what to plant where and commit. Isn't that always the most difficult part? What to plant where? Maybe it's just the quandary of a small-space gardener...wanting to make sure I get the highest yield in the space available. Every year is a learning experience, though, isn't it? The garden is always evolving.


Oh and thank goodness for Pinterest! I pinned some great gardening inspiration.

I would love to do this. (And we have brick piled up just waiting to be turned into something lovely.)
Ian said he'd make me one of these...we need all the pollinators we can get.
And I think we'll see if we can't just make our own ladybug feeder...looks easy enough, doesn't it?

I also came across some more helpful information...

Don't know your last frost date? Dave does!

Not sure what to plant when? Here's a helpful planting chart.

Well...what are you waiting for? Get out there and get your hands dirty!

to plant a garden...

found.

rain.

Hey, guess what? It's raining today. It started sometime in the night...I know because I woke up about a million times. OK...more like four times. But still.

I had a hard time going back to sleep each time...but since the bedroom window was open a bit I could hear the rain coming down. It made insomnia a bit more tolerable.

I took this picture last week while passing through Oakland heading to San Francisco with my mom. She and I met a friend of hers for dinner and a show. We saw Jersey Boys and it was WONDERFUL. I loved it so, so much and was so sad when it ended. I could have watched more! It was a great night...thanks Mom!

Today is feeling a little weird for some reason. Maybe because I am going to a much-anticipated tax appointment this afternoon? I feel a bit out of sorts... like I'm on hold. It'll be nice to get taxes done and out of the way.

In the meantime I will wash clothes, vacuum floors and figure something out for dinner tonight. I'm thinking it's a clam chowder kind of night what with the rain and all...

a quiet life.

for purchase

11 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 

-1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

This scripture:

• prompted me to take gardening more seriously
• encouraged me to learn how to can and preserve food
• encouraged me to learn to be more self-sufficient
• gave me the courage to get backyard chickens
• opened my eyes to realize how dependent we were becoming
• encouraged me to simplify
• reminded me that we are capable of doing a lot with a little

God's word is amazing. 

It is powerful. 

It gives life. 

It directs our steps and calms our fears. 

God's word is the manual for this thing we call life.

{undercurrent}

Came across another old post that was never published. 

It's about living with depression.

Can you feel it?

Can you feel it?

I've felt it coming for a few weeks...the undercurrent is unmistakable. It's a feeling I can't quite describe...

Unnerved. Unsettled. Discontent.
Out of place.
Disconnected.
Internal....if that even makes any sense.

~

It shows up in unexpected places...walking circles around me...sizing me up...glancing at me sideways...baiting me...slowly moving closer and closer.

I see it coming...that black pit.
And sometimes...I slip in.

I've been fighting it pretty well...staving it off as I've learned to do. Keeping it at arms length...looking the other way...figuring if I ignored it long enough it would go away.

I guess I should know by now that technique never works.
Depression is a persisten bugger.

~

I lived at its mercy for a long time.
But not anymore.

I have power over depression...
...so do you.
We all do.

~

I don't write this for attention...or so anyone worries.

I write this because it's therapeutic.
And because I've learned that my story helps others.

So...here it is.
    Here I am.
         Open.
And a little undone.

~

I don't know...sometimes I think it's gone for good. That I've overcome it. That God has healed me.

But then there it is...again. My thorn...maybe?

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

But even as I write I feel God's presence...and His peace...letting me know I am not alone.

Reminding me that there is a reason...that He knows what He is doing...and that He trusts me to walk this walk,  knowing I am willing to clear the path for others. Maybe they won't have to stumble...

I don't know.

~

One thing I do know...this too shall pass. It always does.

And because I have learned to live with depression and use the tools God has given me to fight it every day, it passes quicker each time.

Maybe someday it will pass forever...

~

Until then I will continue to fight.

And I will win.

April 1.

 A few things about April...

• I don't believe in April Fool's Day. And I'm not kidding.
• This isn't necessarily just about April...but being the 1st reminded me that I never like to turn the calendar page to the next month...so my calendars typically stay on the last month for at least a week into the new month. No wonder I'm always feeling behind!
• I was born in April. 
• My mom was born in April.
• We were both born on April 11th. 
• I love sharing a birthday with my mama.
• My Papa Chuck was born on April 4th. I will be thinking of him a little extra this coming Thursday.
• Whenever April rolls around I realize that I didn't plant seedlings and am, yet again, getting a late start on planting the garden. Good thing my family doesn't rely on my ability to grow food for their survival.
• I love having a birthday in April...my birthstone is a diamond. 
• April showers bring May flowers. Let's hope!